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The Eye

Oh, Show. How you twist me up and wring me out. My heart. She hurts. But this is why I love you.



“My charade is the event of the season….”

Okay, I am filling my promise(s) – on time and not tired. Or at least not as tired as I was last week, how’s that? However, with that, I’m warning you that this Ramble may hold more than its fair share of emoting. And pondering. And the like. Plus there will be musing. If you’re good with all of that, we can go on.

Oh, but I just want to say one more thing. I’ve always liked Castiel as an additional character on our Show. Differently than I liked Bobby, but just as much. I love Misha Collins’ delivery and humor and the way the character relates to and affects Dean. I liked Dean actually having a friend. But that said, my enjoyment of the show was never hinged on Cas’ being part of it all. I was sad when he ‘died’ and missed him because in my opinion it always helps to showcase the wonderfulness of our heroes by being able to see them through others’ eyes. That and, it helps grow their characters when they have others to bounce off of, so to speak.

I was looking forward to this episode based on last week’s previews, but I went into it with zero expectations because I didn’t know how the writers were going to want to tell their story and I wanted to be entertained – and I was. A lot of times, I can more or less gauge where different fans will fall on one side or the other, but I have to say with this one? I’m not sure what die-hard Cas fans are going to say. All I can say is I really enjoyed this one and more so than ever, I’m looking forward to where they go from here.

From my perspective, they did a great job bringing Cas back – Misha was excellent in how he played Emmanuel sans Cas memories – and I think that where he was left at the end of the episode solves one problem in a way I could accept and creates a new one I can’t wait to see how it plays out. The only trepidation I had about Cas coming back right when Sam was totally losing it was the same thing that had always irked me when he was around before – he healed them. With a quick fix.

But this time? I was ready for that quick fix (not that it was quick, but I’ll get to that). I needed Sam to be better. One more episode of Broken!Sam might’ve sunk me – and not from the omg Sam’s getting too much attention angle. From the I don’t want to have to bear Sam’s torture anymore angle. We’ve talked in comments for previous episodes about the odd appeal of hurt/comfort. But for me? The hurt that Sam was going through was not appealing; he made me want to protect him, mother him. There was nothing toe-curling about it. I wanted to cry, look away, fast-forward through his scenes.

You can take that as you wish.

It wasn’t that I was disinterested in what was happening to him; on the contrary. It was simply too much for too long and by the time the healing came I felt such a relief that it was finally all over and things can move forward for our boys that I didn’t care about the angelic aspect of it. So, whether it was always planned to have Cas return to fix what he’d broken, or if it was due to “fan input” when Cas ‘died,’ I don’t really care. I like the character and was happy to see him again; I also thought it was a believable way to fix Sam, and I’m SO glad it’s done.

The thing I find the most heartbreaking about the course of this story (the overall story, not just the episode) is the role Dean’s been forced into. Like that line from the Kansas song, it’s all a charade, and I don’t know that he even sees it. He’s "getting over it," "shaking it off," whatever “it” is – even the thing he didn’t think he could get past? For the sake of Sam, he does. He just steps right over that big ol’ black line he hadn’t been able to cross and says please save my brother with his whole being.

And I really don’t know where he’s going to take it – where the writers are going to have him go with it. A continued upward trajectory of ‘dealing with it’ until he breaks from the strain? Or just…dealing with it, period? I want to see it get to him, all of this loss, all of this having to shake it off, all of this fear and worry and protection that turns him inside out and is only numbed through alcohol.  I want it to get to him, for him to look at it, wrestle it to the ground, defeat it, and emerge stronger for it. *shrug* We’ll see….

*shakes self* Onward, yes?

THEN, Cas broke Sam’s brain, Sam isn’t sleeping, and Lucifer is Sam’s bestie. NOW, the umbrella that contained all of Sam’s ‘crazy’ has blown away and he’s stumbling down some railroad tracks, behind graffitied warehouses, in the ghetto, running from Lucifer and other people who may or may not be there. He doesn’t even look like Sam, really. It’s like watching a scene from The Basketball Diaries.

He stumbles into an alley and a tweeker there is all get the hell outta here, but Sam says no one is after him. No one real, anyway. Lucifer is there, taunting him, mentioning that Sam ran away after Dean passed out (and I couldn’t understand all of what he said, but I thought I heard something that made me think the two of them had been drinking and Dean fell asleep, but Sam didn’t).

Lucifer: You’d be sleeping now if the Devil would leave you alone. Stupid Satan….

Sam is grinding the heels of his hands into his eyes and pressing his palms against his temples saying he just needs some rest. This whole scene made me check my own disconnect of what Sam’s going through. I have been viewing it through a disassociated lens because 1) it’s a supernatural affliction brought on by Hell and a broken “wall” and 2) he was able to ‘handle’ it using his scar and we didn’t see much of it all for several episodes.

But as some who read this ramble know intimately, this is very real for some people. And maybe it is the Devil speaking to them, keeping them awake, pushing them to do things they don’t want to do. It honestly took until this episode for that point to take root for me. Perhaps because of who it was happening to, but also because of why it had happened in the first place. In a reply to a comment I said something about war triggering very similar maladies in some soldiers; that helped me find a way to relate to what this character was dealing with.

Anyway, the tweeker asks Sam how many days he’s been up and Lucifer answers that this is day five. The tweeker offers Sam a way to knock out (and that’s how we know it’s Gotten Really Bad) and next thing we know, Sam’s in the front seat of the tweeker’s beat up (parked) car, nodding off while the tweeker is passed out behind the wheel. The sound of shattering glass jolts Sam awake and he stumbles out of the car to stare in horror at a large metal pipe shoved through the front windshield – only, no, wait, just kidding! It’s not really there. Lucifer is next to Sam and starts singing again.

Sam stumbles away and Lucifer tells him that his taking pills is just “bringing free drugs to the party” because he’s inside Sam. Sam is staggering away from Lucifer as Luci tells him the longest a ‘normal’ person has gone without sleep is 11 days and hasn’t he always wanted to be normal? Sam’s pale, panting, eyes bruised and bugging out to stay conscious. He’s totally a mess. He’s running to get away from Luci…and runs directly into traffic, getting hit by a car.

Not. Good.

Dean bursts into the office of a Dr. Kadinski with a nurse at his side like a guard dog telling him he can’t just come in he needs to be scheduled. Dean’s like, well, schedule me, then!

It reminded me of a line from Good Will Hunting where Robin William’s character tells Will that he wouldn’t know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, “because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms visiting hours don't apply to you.”

Dean was set and ready to tell her what she could to with her procedure until the Doctor tells her it’s okay because he realizes that this is “Sam Smith”’s brother. Dean wants to know why, if Sam was admitted for a car accident, he can’t see him. Doc tells him that Sam was treated for a broken rib and some lacerations. But…he was in their locked psych ward because he was in the middle of a full-blown psychotic episode.

Resistant as ever to anyone classifying his brother a ‘crazy’ or anything close to that, Dean says that he’s not Norman Bates or anything, but the Doc says that they have to do a chicken and egg thing for Sam’s insomnia – is it a result of his condition or is it causing it?

Dean tells him the ‘sleep thing was new,’ and I felt so badly for him. I mean, how can he tell the doctor anything that might help him help Sam that doesn’t involve Hell and then end up getting admitted himself? As the Doc is talking, Dean has Mega-Worried Face: jaw coiled, skin tight beneath his eyes, lips rolled in against his teeth. The Doc takes him up to the locked ward to see Sam, saying they pumped Sam as full of sedatives as is safe and he won’t go under.

As Dean walks in, Lucifer is sitting on the table in the corner of the room telling Sam that when he didn’t have a soul, he didn’t need to sleep (which just prompted all sorts of questions for me on the physicality of sleep deprivation and did that mean that soulless!Sam wasn’t really human since his organs didn’t need sleep and so on). Sam…well, Sam looks just…done. Although, on a purely superficial level? I dug the scruffy beard. Sam should be scruffy (but well-rested) more often.

Lucifer: Ah, Mr. Helpless! Pull up a six pack, buddy!

Dean (to Sam, hesitant, unsure): How you feeling?

Sam: Cancel my UFC fight.

Lucifer: Keep that sense of humor. It’ll get you through this.

I wanted to hate him. I really did. I wanted to be irritated with him for breaking up a good brotherly moment, too. But unfortunately his performance was so spot-on and purposely irritating and insanity-inducing I just couldn’t.

In a darker, older role-reversal of Faith, Dean is telling Sam he’s going to find him some help. I could almost see S1 Sam telling a bruised, pale Dean that he’s not going to let him die. And, predictably – just as Dean had – Sam tells him not to, that the last faith healer they found had a reaper on a leash (to which Dean has to turn away when replying that he remembers that quite well, thank you very much).

Sam: Don’t do this to yourself.

Dean: If I don’t find somebody….

Sam: Then I’ll die. Cas warned you about what would happen….

Ouch – I know Sam’s too tired to worry about curbing his words, but that kinda stung. I mean, sure Dean was warned about sticking Sam’s soul back in his body, but what was he supposed to do with it once Death got it out of the cage? I suppose one choice would have been to end soulless!Sam's existence and ask Cas to deposit Sam’s soul in Heaven so that it would be at peace, but after having recently died to make the deal to get Sam’s soul out of the pit, I don’t know that Dean was thinking beyond “get Sam back.”

Dean: Screw Cas! Quit being Dali-freaking-Yoda about this. Get pissed!

(When he said, 'Screw Cas,' I heard echoes of Dean's pained, "Dad's an ass. You don't do that! You don't lay that kind of crap on your kids!" back in S2's Playthings.)

Sam: I’m too tired. This is what happens when you throw a soul into Lucifer’s dog bowl. You think there’s just gonna be some cure out there?

Dean’s eyes KILL ME DEAD in this moment. The emotions that blink through them as Sam’s saying this literally had my heart panging. Yes, he knows Hell. He knows torment. But he doesn’t know what it was like to be bunk-buddies with Lucifer in the Cage, and there is so much regret there that he shouldn't carry – if he’d known Sam was alive that whole year everyone hid it from him, if he’d picked up on the cause of Sam’s behavior earlier, if if if…would Sam be this damaged? And then there’s the fact that Cas broke the wall, and Dean trusted Cas, and and and....

Lucifer: Oh, you guys are having a moment.

Dean turns away and walks out without saying a word to Sam. He’s already said what’s important anyway. He’s going to find someone to help. Somehow. He’s back at the cabin they holed up in before and he’s going through Bobby’s Black Book of Emergency Hunting Contacts, leaving messages, asking for information, for help.

Aside – the number he leaves for a call back? Has a Lawrence, KS, area code. I loved that touch. *grins*

While Dean tries every number in the book, Sam’s getting his vitals checked by a nurse, Lucifer ‘helpfully’ peering over her shoulder. Y’know, not that I in any way want him to…I just have to wonder about the fact that Sam’s not tried to end it all. He may have acted like he believed there was no solution when Dean said he was going to find help, but the fact of the matter is, even with all this mental anguish, he’s still here, and he’s still making it through – heck, he even finds a ‘hunt’ in the psych ward. So he obviously still has some sort of hope. Some drive to live.

We have a short montage of Dean hitting dead ends, getting frustrated. Lucifer reading aloud from a medical book and self-diagnosing. Sam taking his meds (though fat lot of good they seem to be doing). Dean gets up after crossing the last name off a list, tosses the black book on the table helplessly, and heads to the fridge for a beer. Just then the book “somehow” falls off the table. Frowning, Dean turns, picks up the book and a business card for Mackey’s Taxidermy falls out. He sees the number on the back and calls Mackey. *thank you, Bobby!*

Sam’s nodding off sitting up until the Doc comes in…only it’s not the doc, it’s Luci talking about the elegant torture he has in store for him because he wants Sam to ‘engage’ and muses that this is just like in the Cage. Sam tries to eat but sees maggots in his food, drops the sandwich and backs away. In related news, I’ve recently sworn off lunch meat. *blech*

Just then, a random girl with a large bandage on her neck appears in his opened door, then hurries off.

Mackey returns Dean’s call. Wherever he is, he’s standing outside of his Jeep with a deer carcass strapped to the roof, ready for taxidermification (yes, I just made up that word). I got a good feel about this guy – would like to see more of him in the future. He’s very no-nonsense, an interesting face. One you wouldn’t mind having around as an ally. I hope Dean kept that card.

He tells Dean he’s sorry about Bobby, and then says he thinks he has someone who might be able to help. Dean gets up, pacing as he’s listening. Mackey tells Dean how he'd heard about this guy called Emmanuel for a couple months – how he’d been healing the sick, curing the crazy, all that jazz. Naturally, he thinks there’s something in the milk and wants to find the sucker and punch his clock.

Dean nods appreciatively, already liking the way Mackey presents information. Gotta be a lot easier to talk to someone who thinks like him than it was to talk with Frank.

Mackey finds out that to reach this Emmanuel fellow, you get to him through his wife, Daphne out in Colorado. So, Mackey goes out there, tells Daphne that he’s going blind – which was the truth, he said, his right eye is burned out. She tells him to go home, that Emmanuel will come. He sets every trap, every test in the book.

Dean’s like, “That’s what I woulda done.”

Only when Emmanuel shows, he passes them all. Nothing weird about the guy – except that he’s the real thing. Touched Mackey and his eye was healed.

Dean = THUD. The look of do I dare to hope that flits across his face is heartbreaking.

Back at the psych ward, Lucifer is using a megaphone to get to Sam. The pretty girl with the neck bandage comes back and hands Sam a candy bar she stole from someplace, saying she noticed he wasn’t happy with his ‘in-flight meal.’ Her name is Marin (love that name) and knows his name is Sam.

Somewhere, presumably in CO, Dean is pulling up to a house – and what is he driving? Looks like a Plymouth something…? Any ideas? *wants our Baby back* -- and heads up some stone steps to a porch. He knocks on the door and a guy answers saying that he’s Emmanuel, but that Daphne’s resting. He steps outside to talk on the porch with Dean, when Dean suddenly sees a woman tied up to a chair through the window. Just then, the guy’s eyes go black.

I actually said, oh, God, out loud at that moment. It has been so long since we’ve seen any demons that I forgot what a jolt it could be to have them go all onyx-eyed on us. Dean was as caught off-guard as I was and the demon slams him against the front door hard enough to crack the glass. Ouch! Dean’s all, hold up! Didn’t you get Crowley’s hands-off memo? The demon’s like, what have you done for him lately?

Here’s the one place in the story that I’m still a bit foggy on – why the demons are after Emmanuel and why they feel like he’s worth so much more to Crowley than keeping Dean alive? I’m jumping ahead a bit, but whatever. I got the impression that Meg was the only demon who knew who Emmanuel really was; the others just knew he was a healer. What were they going to use him for? Did ya’ll get that part? ‘Cause I didn’t really. Not even when Meg was telling Dean. Especially when Meg was telling Dean. Rachel Miner’s Meg is my least favorite demon-ally. Her brand of sarcasm is hard to wade through to find the meaning a lot of the time.

ANY.way, the demon basically tells Dean he’s fair game and attacks, but our boy kicks some serious demon ass in this episode, shiving the demon with the Demon Killing Knife before it can get its grubby hands on him. *bravo!*The demon goes all red and glowy as it dies, then falls down the stone steps in front of the house, right at the feet of…duh, duh, duhhhh….Castiel.

Dean’s focus is first on the dead demon, then he registers that someone is standing there. When it filters through who it is (this all takes seconds, but you see the stages of realization on Jensen’s expressive face), Dean = THUD. Again.

Inside the house, Cas/Emmanuel is untying Daphne and Dean is standing in the archway of the room, watching. Daphne calls him Emmanuel and then Emmanuel turns and introduces himself to Dean, holding out his hand to shake. Dean takes it, stutters over his own name, looking as if he’s trying to remember exactly how to breathe. He is, in a word, gobsmacked. The shock of what he’s seeing overlayed with the desperation of his situation and the normalness of this environment contrasted with the return of the demon…he’s spinning.

Gotta hand it to him, though. A lifetime of playing so many different roles outwardly to the world gave him some mad acting skilz.

Emmanuel: I saw his face. His real face.

Dean: He was a demon.

E: A demon walking the Earth….

D: DemonS. Loads of them. You don’t know about—

He stops himself, unsure just how to proceed. Daphne is awed that he saw the demon's face, and says that it was after Emmanuel, then Daphne turns to Dean and says that Emmanuel has special gifts.

D: I heard that about…Emmanuel. That you can heal people up.

E: I seem to be able to help to a certain degree. What’s your issue?

Dean does that thing that kind sucks the breath from me – he moves his lips around words he can’t quite seem to get out, trying to find a way to say what he needs to say without letting anything he can’t control escape. After a moment, he says, “My brother.”

Said brother is lying in bed asleep and Lucifer wakes him up by lighting firecrackers and playing “Wake Up Little Suzie.” Lucifer was making ME a little crazy. Seriously. It takes me so long to get to sleep that when I’m woken up (and it’s usually by a munchkin with a nightmare, nothing as scream-inducing as firecrackers) I want to come unglued. He was that good.

Lucifer: You’re keeping it together better than I thought. The way someone pinned under a bus keeps it together.

Sam: None of this is real.

Lucifer: And yet…it doesn’t really matter.

Oh, Sammy. *rubs heart*

An orderly brings Sam’s meal and Sam asks about Marin – finding out that her being here wasn’t “because of an accident.” And then Sam rolls away from the food, jerking and covering his ears as Luci continues with the firecrackers. That’s when the protection feeling was really triggered.

Dean and Emmanuel are in the Car Of Unknown Origin, on their way to Sam (and I have to say that this drive was the first time in awhile I felt they really showed the distance between locals and didn’t just slip through a fold in the space-time continuum to get from one place to another -- they go through two nights and a day). Dean is trying to figure out how to talk to this person next to him and starts with the safest question, asking him about Daphne. Emmanuel says that she found him and cared for him when, a few months ago, he wandered (naked) across her hiking path. He had emerged from a river without a memory of who he was or where he was.

Daphne said that God wanted her to find him. Dean asked who named him Emmanuel. Apparently bouncingbabynames.com did (*laugh*) – and appropriately so, as it means “God with us.”

The thing I loved about how Misha played Emmanuel was that it was Cas, only with a tempered, more human softness. He didn’t talk with that deep, Batmanesque voice, nor were his rhythms stilted and awkward as if he were unused to the English language. But he still had the Cas-like guileless way of answering questions. He still spoke without slang and he was still direct – almost uncomfortably so in some instances. It was a perfect delivery for this character. And I have to say, I really enjoyed having him on screen with Dean again.

Dean tells him the name works for him, but muses that it must be weird not knowing who he is. Emmanuel just shrugs that off saying it’s his life, and it’s a good life. But then Dean’s pain bubbles to the surface a bit and he shows a flash of his cards.

Dean: What if you were some kind of bad guy?

E: I don’t feel like a bad person.

Back at the psych ward, Sam’s getting weaker and Marin brings him another candy bar. Only problem is he’s too weak to open the wrapper. The only value the Marin story had, for me, was to show us that Sam may be going crazy because of Lucifer and sleep deprivation, but he’s still Sam. He still has that drive to live, to help people. Figuring out what was haunting Marin gave him something to do other than stare at those four walls, a way to feel useful and a focal point other than Lucifer.

She tells him the doctor answer for why she's there is because she’s “psychotically depressed with suicidal (something…didn’t catch that work, but basically tendencies?).” The non-doctor answer is that she just wants it all over and she feels like crap. She knows that Sam hears voices and through a bit of a dramatic back and forth, we find out that she also hears a voice – her dead brother’s – and that she was blamed for setting a fire that he actually set (but who’s going to believe her, right?).

In the car, Emmanuel is asking Dean about Sam condition. Dean says it’s not exactly a medical diagnosis.

E: I can cure illness of a spiritual origin.

D: Okay, well. Someone did this to him.

E (surprised by the realization): You’re angry.

D: W’yeah. Dude broke my brother’s head.

E: He betrayed you, this dude. He was your friend?

Dean looks askance at Emmanuel with this…weight in his eyes. *rubs heart* He just made my heart ache in this one, ya’ll.

D: Yeah, well. He’s gone.

E: Did you kill him? I sense that you’ve killed a lot of people.

D: Honestly…I don’t know if he’s dead.

He starts talking…almost like a tiny dam inside of him broke a bit and in the shelter of the dark car he can confess pain acted upon him by this friend to this friend because this friend has no idea Dean’s talking about him. It had to have been one of the Top 5 surreal moments for Dean (right up there with meeting his mom and dad before he was even born and seeing his father's spirit).

D: I just know that this whole thing couldn’t be messier. I used to be able to just…shake things off. Whatever it was. Might take me some time, but I always could. What Cas did…I just can’t. I don’t know why.

E: I doesn’t matter why.

D: ‘Course it matters.

E: You’re not a machine, Dean. You’re human.

*LOVES him for saying that*

Dean looks out the side window, unable to accept that ‘out’ for this perceived weakness inside of himself.

E (after a pause): Your friend’s name is Cas? That’s an odd name.

Hee.

It's daylight and Dean pulls up to a convenience store and tells Emmanuel to wait outside. Okay, so…maybe you all saw something I didn’t, but what I saw was Dean standing outside the cooler, checking his phone, then seeing a man’s reflection in the security mirror, pulling his Demon Killing Knife and turning to attack. I didn’t pick up on how Dean knew the man was a demon – but however he did, it’s a good thing because he was able to get the knife out in time to kill that demon.

Bad part is, the fight broke his cell phone. Dangit.

He starts to head out and two more are blocking his exit. Dean does that tired-neck-roll-ala-Indiana-Jones then flips the Demon Killing Knife around and attacks. The two-against-one ratio isn’t working in his favor (not to mention that all the driving and searching for something to save Sam has left Dean a little light on the sleep himself) and he’s overpowered, the knife knocked from his grip. Thing 1 throws him against a shelf, sending the whole thing – and Dean – tumbling into a pile.

Dean’s struggling to get up when suddenly the point of the Demon Killing Knife pokes out of the now-dead Thing 1 and Thing 2 smokes out of there (presumably leaving the human host dead or unconscious because he’s summarily forgotten). Dean thinks it’s Emmanuel come to save him, but when the dead demon falls, it reveals…Meg.

Okay, tooootally surfacey of me, but did she look like she’d put on some weight to you guys? Her face was much rounder (making her eyes look smaller). For some reason, it took me a bit to get used to her. I miss Nicki Aycox.

Anyway, Dean closes the shop and grills Meg and this is where I got foggy again on why she wanted Emmanuel/Cas – it was either to get back in Crowley’s good graces, or use Cas against Crowley and smite the King of Hell once and for all. Either way, she wanted to use Cas as a weapon, I got that much. But Dean’s like, no figgin’ way – we’re saving Sam. They reach an uneasy stalemate where Meg comes with them to keep an eye on Emmanuel/Cas – promising not to give the big secret away until Sam’s healed. Plus she gives Dean back his knife.

I gotta say…I don’t know if I get Meg’s involvement, really – why Dean didn’t kill her when she gave him back the knife, I don’t know. She said she’d helped him – alluding to him owing her – but he rightly turned it around to Meg only helping herself. Why he let her live, though, I don’t get it. I’m sure story-wise she’s necessary for things to come, but unless Dean has a plan for using her, I think it was just a convenience of storytelling. I’m having to ponder a bit on a hunter who killed Amy because she was a monster and would kill more people (and rightly so) being willing to work with a demon. But, I’ll let it go. I’m sure it will all come together down the road.

SO, Dean and Meg head back out to the car and Emmanuel recoils from Meg’s true face. Dean reluctantly says that Meg is a friend (practically choking on the word) and Meg’s all smarmy and coy comes thisclose to telling Emmanuel who he really is until Dean’s all, can we GO?

Sam, whose body is slowly starting to shut down from lack of sleep, is intent on helping Marin with her problem. She brings him another stolen chocolate bar and Sam talks with her, deducing that there is some blood on a bracelet her brother made for her. He says he can help her, but needs her to get a lighter.

Back in the Most Uncomfortable Car Ride In The History Of Ever, Meg is in the back seat and Emmanuel is sitting worried-faced and shifty-eyed in the front.

E: This silence is uncomfortable. Is there something I should know?

D: Meg has that affect. Awkward, y’know?

E (turning to glance back at Meg, says sympathetically): That must be difficult for you.

Meg: Dean was making a joke.

E: Oh. (Small laugh)

It’s so much like something Cas might do that Dean shoots him a look and I couldn’t blame him.

Back with Sam, Marin pick-pocketed a lighter and Sam and she put a ring of salt in the room – Sam making Marin to most of it because Lucifer is being a PITA – stand in the center, and burn the bracelet (but not before Dead Brother shows up and blows out lightbulbs and throws chairs). I had to wonder…in a secured, locked-down ward would there be in-room security/surveillance cameras? Monitors in the halls? Something? I don’t know. But they vanquish her brother and Sam sends Marin packing before the orderlies show up to grab Sam (who isn’t really up for resisting too much).

Sam blurrily wakes up to a light in his eyes, the Doc checking him and Lucifer peering over the Doc’s shoulder.

Lucifer: His soul is broken, Doc. Can you give him a pill?

The Doc says it might be time to talk surgery options – only not lobotomy. I’m not sure what surgery they’re talking about if not that, but they don’t get into it.

Dean, Emmanuel, and Meg show up at the hospital and see that the entrance is surrounded by demons. Sadly, there is only one Demon Killing Knife. Meg’s giving a hard time about how they are going to get past the demons and Dean pulls her to the side, away from Emmanuel, to get her to shut the hell up, but Emmanuel overhears.

E (to Dean): I gather we know each other.

Meg: Just a dollop.

E: You can tell me; I’ll be fine.

D: How do you know? You just met yourself. I’ve known you for years.

Meg: You’re an angel.

Dean gives her a seriously?! look.

E: I’m sorry. Is that a flirtation?

HA! Man, I missed him. LOL!!

Meg: No, it’s a species. A very powerful one.

D: She’s not lying. That’s why you heal people. You don’t eat. I’m sure there’s more….

(Made me wonder about the kind of married life Emmanuel and Daphne shared.)

E (Looking a bit shellshocked): Why wouldn’t you tell me? Being an angel, it sounds pleasant.

D: It’s not. Trust me. It’s corrupt.

Meg: You used to fight together. Bestest friends, actually.

E (the pieces coming together): We’re friends… (takes a deep, shaky breath) Am I Cas?

Dean doesn’t move. He looks like he’s barely breathing.

E: I had no idea. I don’t remember you; I’m sorry.

Meg tells him that he can smite all the demons down there and get them inside. Emmanuel turns away saying he doesn’t remember how. Dean comes up to him, his face earnest, pleading.

D: It’s in there. I’m sure it’s just like riding a bike.

E: I don’t know how to do that, either.

Dean executes a perfect oh, you gotta be kidding me eye roll, but Emmanuel says he’ll try. He heads down toward the entrance with Dean worried that it won’t go well and Meg all, go get ‘em, tiger.

Emmanuel walks right up to a security guard demon. The demon blinks, all, I know you! You’re dead!

E: Yes, I’ve heard.

He touches him, burning out his demon soul with the white, angel light and as he does, the memories return – Castiel entering the barn where Dean met him the first time, seeing his wings spread. He kills more demons, more memories come, and so on until he remembers breaking Sam’s wall, remembers absorbing the Purgatory souls, remembers apologizing to Dean before the Levis were unleashed upon the Earth.

Meg and Dean head down when it’s clear, and Meg's all, That was beautiful, Clarence.

Dean, though, looks hesitant, unsure, hopeful, as he says, “Cas?”

Cas (voice deeper, but not Batman-deep): I remember you. I remember everything.

Dean looks like he can’t decide if he’s afraid or relieved. Cas looks near tears. He can’t come to grips with what he did…what he became. He wants to know why Dean didn’t tell him.

Dean: Because Sam is dying in there!

Cas: Because of me.

That was oddly satisfying. I didn’t realize I needed Cas to own what he’d done – not just the Purgatory thing, but specifically to Sam. I thought it was just a part of the story to me until Cas admitted that he was the reason all of this was happening to Sam, the reason Dean had been through the wringer about his brother. And then I felt a strange sort of weight lift.

Cas walks off and Dean goes to follow, telling Meg to stay put. Meanwhile, inside, Sam’s on a gurney being wheeled into another white room. He’s strapped down and an orderly is telling him that he’s going to get electroshock therapy; only it’s being cranked way up in order to “experiment a little.” At first I thought it was Lucifer again – he had me unable to figure out what was real and what wasn’t – but then the orderly’s eyes go demon-black and I knew we were in a bit more trouble than a hallucination could bring about.

Back outside, Cas has made it to the car before Dean catches up to him. Cas is sick about the death toll – in Heaven and Earth – because of him.

Cas: We didn’t part friends, Dean.

Dean: So what?

Cas: I deserved to die. I can’t fix it so why did I walk out of that river?!

Dean is practically vibrating with the need to get Cas to help him, regardless of what he did, what he was responsible for. He needs Cas right now. Needs Cas to understand that maybe he can’t go back and undo all the chaos he caused, but that second chances weren’t always random. And maybe this time he got one not to wage war (as is what happened the last time he was brought back from death) but to mend fences. To heal more than just bodies and minds; to heal souls. Friendships.

Dean opens his trunk and I caught my breath. No matter what old beater they were driving, no matter how many cars they’ve had to switch up over the last few months, he’d kept it. The trench coat. It was bloodstained and wrinkled, but to Dean, it symbolized Castiel. His friend. The same being who broke his heart and his trust and created a rift inside him that he couldn’t get over, was the only one who could help him now.

So, Dean stepped over that rift, handing Cas the trench coat and silently pleaded for the angel to get it.

Which, he did – Sam’s writhing from the jolts of shock coursing through him and just as the possessed orderly goes to kick it up a notch, Cas is there smiting the hell out of him. He takes the gear off of Sam, and looks at him sadly.

Cas: I should never have broken your wall, Sam. I’m here to make it right.

He touches Sam’s head and Sam looks up at him, blearily, and sees Lucifer instead of Cas, saying, “You’re not real.”

Cas looks distraught. “Oh, Sam. I’m so sorry.”

I was sorry, too! I was like no way are you going to put Dean through that and then NOT let Cas heal Sam! *stomps foot*

Sam’s back in his room and Dean and Cas are leaning against the far wall, looking at him. Dean has his arms wrapped around himself like he can’t get warm, his face tight with worry. Cas tells Dean that there’s nothing left of Sam’s wall to repair – Hallucifer has stomped it to nothingness.

Dean (looking at Sam’s pale, bruised face, his eyes staring at ‘nothing’): There’s nothing? He’s gonna be like this until his candle blows out?

I flashed back to my chronic disease analogy. Eventually, depending on the disease, the chronic nature of the affliction can ultimately cause death. And when Dean said that, I thought of how many people live with that – a loved one living out each day in pain or suffering until one day…that’s it. It’s a reality that too many have to face and the look on Dean’s face as he tried to process that just broke my heart.

After everything, all of it, he was going to lose Sam to this. And no crossroad deal was going to save him this time. *sniff*

Cas (looking truly bereft): I’m sorry. This isn’t a problem I can make disappear. (pause) But I may be able to shift it.

Cas goes over to Sam, sitting next to him. Sam stares at him in terror, seeing Lucifer dressed as a doctor with a scope on his forehead. Cas looks back at Dean saying It’s better this way; I’ll be fine when Dean comes forward demanding what the hell.

Cas: Sam, this may hurt. And if I can’t tell you again, I’m sorry I ever did this to you.

Cas touches Sam’s head and this cool effect of red glowy light comes from Sam’s head, through his eyes, up through Cas’ arm, lighting his veins and crawling up to his head and turning his eyes red. Sam’s gasping from the pain, and then pulling away even before the glow is gone from Cas’ face. Dean is crossing the room to him. Sam gasps out Dean’s name, then stares at Cas in wonder.

Cas looks up, but instead of Sam, sees Lucifer, who says, “Hello, brother.” Cas backs away to the other side of the room as Lucifer laughs.

Okay, couple of ponderings here. First, if Lucifer was in Sam’s broken head because Sam had been in the Cage, I find it interesting that it was still Lucifer when Cas “absorbed” broken bits. I mean – what did he shift out of Sam and into him, exactly? Sam still has his memories; remembers what happened to him and why he was there (as we find out in the coda). If it was just the psychosis, or whatever, of someone who had tortured or caused him pain, I wonder why for Cas it wasn’t someone like…Raphael.

Also, though he looked practically catatonic at the end (which I’ll get to), I wonder if he told Dean so confidently that he’d be fine because his vessel isn’t bound by the same human, physical limitations as Sam’s had been – he doesn’t eat, sleep, etc. He’s physically like Sam had been when he was soulless. So in one respect, he could contain whatever this is indefinitely. However, I do feel bad for Emmanuel’s wife, Daphne, and wonder if she’s going to come looking for her husband when he doesn’t return. I wonder if they told her where they were going.

In the coda, Sam and Dean both walk out of the hospital, Sam still a bit scruffy, but looking so much better. I don’t know if they just gave the docs the slip or proved that he was cured, but hey, here’s our friend who could use your help…. *shrug* The point is, they left, and Cas stayed behind, sitting on the bed, staring at the wall, looking like he was doing everything possible to block Lucifer out. I wonder if ‘Cas’ took another vessel if the ‘crazy’ would die with Jimmy (because that body is done for w/out the angel host).

But then…we wouldn’t get Misha, so they’d never do that.

Sam doesn’t want to leave Cas there, but Dean argues that they can’t protect him out in the world and that he’s safer there. Only one demon (apparently) knows he’s even alive and Sam argues that leaving her alive and knowing about Cas feels a bit like a deal. Dean says it’s not a deal, it’s a “mutually assured destruction.”

I think Dean just wanted to get Sam as far away from that place as possible, honestly.

Sam’s doesn’t like this whole enemy of my enemy is my friend crap and Dean snaps that Meg’s not a friend – they don’t have any friends. All their friends are dead. He gets in the car and a look of sorrow crosses Sam’s face – but it’s sorrow for his brother more than anything.

They drive away and we shift to Dr. Kadinski interviewing a new staff member – none other than Meg. She gets hired on and I have no idea what her little scheme is there. Just keep an eye on Cas? Use him? Take him to Crowley? *ponders* The possibilities are vast and has me very intrigued. And there’s no way they’ll leave Cas in that place; there will be a way to fix it. And I’m thinking it’s going to come from the fact that he’s an angel and we now have demons back in the picture again.

All in all, a very satisfying episode, setting up pieces for the next move and solving problems that had been exhausting this viewer. I was pleased – and I’m ready to see what next week’s episode brings! Terry, you’ll be here with me to watch that one. Bring on the Baileys. *grins*

Slainte!



Parting words: To all you gorgeous people who take time to comment on this ramble (not that the rest of you aren’t equally as gorgeous, I’m just talking to these guys at the moment), thank you and if I haven’t responded to your comments from 7.16, I will.

I want to make sure I read and respond to what you said and not just wave as I run past. Some weeks, finding time for that is harder than others, but I promise to respond to each comment. Thanks for your time!

Comments

( 96 Tall Tales — Tell Me A Story )
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yasminke
Mar. 24th, 2012 07:14 am (UTC)
Totally satisfying
Mwah. Kiss, kiss.
gaelicspirit
Mar. 24th, 2012 07:18 am (UTC)
Re: Totally satisfying
*blows kisses back and gives you cheeky grin*

Loved it.

Miss you.

That is all (since it is 2am...).
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digitalwave
Mar. 24th, 2012 07:32 am (UTC)
Sweetie, I said the exact same thing in an earlier post about Dean and Cas's coat. As far as I'm concerned that was the biggest hug he could ever give Cas when he handed it over to him. :)
gaelicspirit
Mar. 28th, 2012 06:38 pm (UTC)
*virtual high-five for same thoughts*

As far as I'm concerned that was the biggest hug he could ever give Cas when he handed it over to him.

Totally agree. It's a start, that's for sure. :)

Thanks for reading!
cathy1967
Mar. 24th, 2012 08:49 am (UTC)
I must honestly admit ... the idea of Cas coming back wasn't appealing to me. But ... he redeemed himself. I was pissed off at him for what he did to Sam and that Dean kept holding onto that trench coat, because, really, Cas nearly destroyed Sam. How could Dean forgive that? Then again ... it's evident he didn't, but having had so much heartache in his life, it must be tough to let go. But since Sam's always been his priority in life, it just struck me as out-of-character for Dean to have anything left over for Cas than outright hate. But Dean's not that black-and-white. There's a whole lot of gray between and he's learned that the hard way.

Anyway ... even if this healing could be seen as a cop-out, I'm down with it. I was so ready for Sam to be healed here, I would have accepted anything. Like you, I've cringed every time Sam had another episode, feeling so damned sorry for him. After all he's done to save the world, that's his reward? Going crazy until he dies from it? Not fair. So yes ... I'm okay with how this went.

I'm still marginally convinced that Lucifer wasn't just a hallucination, that Sam was still connected to him and that Luci could make himself known by messing with Sam's head. That would also explain why Cas now sees Lucifer. He shifted the bond between Sam and Luci to himself, freeing Sam of the debilitating influence and taking it upon himself. And rightly so. He caused this mess in the first place.

I do feel sorry for him, but he's much more capable of handling the strain than Sam is. Sam's just a guy. Cas is an angel.

Anyway ... thank you again for your wonderful rambles and insights. I look forward to this every week. :)

Can I just end this with saying: Yay! Sammy's okay! *bounces up and down*
gaelicspirit
Mar. 28th, 2012 06:52 pm (UTC)
But since Sam's always been his priority in life, it just struck me as out-of-character for Dean to have anything left over for Cas than outright hate. But Dean's not that black-and-white. There's a whole lot of gray between and he's learned that the hard way.

I totally see where you're coming from here. And while I enjoy Cas mainly for the entertainment value Misha provides and the added layer of interaction with our main leads, I did look at this a bit differently.

Yes, Sam's always been Dean's priority, but when Cas' main betrayal occurred, Sam's soulless activity had recently made it's own mark on Dean. And for a long time, Cas was the only friend Dean really had -- especially during the time Sam was not himself. I think you nailed it when you said it isn't easy for Dean to let go.

Cas hurt him - badly - but I think Dean lost his black/white approach to the world when he was brought back from Hell. And there's something about having this friend in his life, something about how Cas changed his perception and gave him something other than Sam to think about that made it so that he wanted to forgive Cas...he just needed a reason to.

A reason like Cas 'fixing' Sam.

I do feel sorry for him, but he's much more capable of handling the strain than Sam is. Sam's just a guy. Cas is an angel.

Yep, this is exactly how I walked away from it.

Thank you for reading and taking time to comment! :)


Edited at 2012-03-28 06:53 pm (UTC)
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lovinjackson
Mar. 24th, 2012 09:54 am (UTC)
It was SOOOOOOOOOOOO good to see Misha back on the show ... I love the way he can play two different characters ... just like he didn when he played Cas and Jimmy. I felt releived when he remembered though ... I've missed Cas. I mean my loyalties lie with Dean but to think for 3 whole years we didnt even know who Cas was and now for the last 4 years I miss the character when he isnt there. The funny thing with Cas is that I do love the character, I love who he is and his sensibilities and I love that they have stayed true to the character because he was so lost and confused and wrong with his decisions and the Cas we know and love in his right mind would feel his actions were unforgivable.

I also love what Cas meant for Dean. He felt like the first real friend that Dean really gave himself to (not in the dirty way LOL) you know what I mean. We've seen Sam have friends throughout the series but Dean ... he's only ever had Sam (and Bobby) until Cas came along. he loved that angel like family and it breaks my heart how hurt he was when Cas crashed and burned and did all kinds of wrong. It hurt Dean so much because he loved the guy so much ... I LOVE that connection. I miss them.

Sam is Dean's brother and he loves him more than anyone ... but Cas is someone he CHOSE to allow inside his walls.

(btw, OMG I fell in love with Dean a little bit - or a lot more - when he revealed that he had kept that trench coat. When he lets you in ... thats it, huh? Sentimental bastard he is *LOVES HIM TO BITS!!!*)

Luci ... OMG that man ... He is terrific. He would do a fantastic job at driving anyone insane. I was almost feeling like strangling him (when I wasnt having a chuckle) I hope he gets announced at one of the cons coming up ... between 2 cons there are 4 guests yet to be announced. he'd be one I'd be happy to have announced.

Meg ... looked plain weird. The thing is she looked like she had put on weight but to me it looked like she had put weight on in just the face. He face looked bloated like she'd had an allergic reaction or something ... Very weird. I miss Nicki Aycox as well. This chick tends to drone her lines ... it annoys me.


And would ya look at this ... Im responding to this before a couple of days has passed ... im doing well for a change.

Word.
gaelicspirit
Mar. 28th, 2012 06:58 pm (UTC)
Misha is so totally entertaining. Even if I didn't think Cas added a layer of complexity to our leads, I would enjoy watching him. ;)

Sam is Dean's brother and he loves him more than anyone ... but Cas is someone he CHOSE to allow inside his walls.

Yes, exactly. And I think that's both why Cas' betrayal hurt worse and why Dean wanted so badly to forgive him if given the right reason. Dean's one of the loneliest people I've ever seen. He needs to have that friend out there, y'know?

Thank you for reading and taking a moment to comment! LOVE IT. :)

WORD!
primrose_1
Mar. 24th, 2012 11:58 am (UTC)
Squee! There was so much to love about this episode! My very most favorite thing was that they had a ghost! Ghosts are my favorite.

There are a couple of things that I would change. I'm not sure I buy Cas taking Sam's madness into himself, or not being able to heal Sam. He took memories away from Lisa and Ben without any trouble, why couldn't he at least help relieve Sam of some of those? I'm willing to suspend disbelief, on that one, but it's a little weird for me.

I'm really bothered by Daphne. I was bothered by her adoration when Cas unties her. I love my husband, but I promise you, I never say things like, "My husband has special gifts" I say things like, "Yeah, I know you heal people, but I still need help with the dishes." I don't know, their relationship seemed weird. But, she was still his wife, and I would think that if her husband wasn't ever coming home, the boys should have the decency to CALL HER. You just don't take things like a WIFE lightly. Like she doesn't matter? Uh uh. No way. Grr.

The last thing I would change relates a lot to what you were saying about wanting to really step in and mother and protect Sam. We watched a lot of his suffering, and when Cas helped him, I REALLY wanted and needed him to fall asleep. I wanted to see him curled up and sleeping peacefully for days and days. Just to see some relief for him.

Overall, I think they've left things in a good place- Cas is protected by Meg who I think really likes him. The way is open to bring him back. I think him trying to make amends is going to help Dean. I think next episode is going to deal with the drinking issue, so maybe we can see Dean finally dealing with his problems better.

*happy sigh*
gaelicspirit
Mar. 28th, 2012 08:13 pm (UTC)
I love ghost stories, too. But this one, to me, felt a bit more like it was serving a purpose to tell us about Sam then it was really about the ghost...y'know?

He took memories away from Lisa and Ben without any trouble, why couldn't he at least help relieve Sam of some of those?

See, for me this goes back to whole "what did Cas shift" question. If it was simply about erasing Sam's Hell memories, I'm right there with you, but I think it was more than that because of the whole 'broken soul' dilemma. It wasn't just the memories of Hell, it was that he'd been fractured internally and the wall keeping that madness of Sam-pieces away had crumbled.

I still don't know if I totally get it. But I am willing to put it into the category of "it's fantasy, go with it" as long as the rest of the season and however they ultimately deal with Cas feels "right" to me.

Because it's all about me, of course. *wink*

Yeah, I wondered about Daphne, too. Cas said it had only been a couple of months, right? So she meets this naked guy on a path -- who has no memory and could very easily have his OWN wife and family somewhere -- and you marry him? I don't know.... Plus, YES they'd better be reaching out to her in some way. You can't just leave her hanging boys!

I wonder if there was more time between Cas 'healing' Sam and them leaving than was perceived. If maybe Sam did sleep. Because, yeah, he was having physical issues from the not sleeping, so...did that get healed, too??

Cas is protected by Meg who I think really likes him

So, you think she's protecting him by being there? I like that idea...wasn't sure what I thought of her agenda, honestly, but I like that idea. Guess we'll see!! :)

'See' you in a couple of days!
winsangel
Mar. 24th, 2012 01:15 pm (UTC)
Awesome ramble as always and I echo your feeling that the episode was very satisfying in so many ways. The way they brought Cas back kicked ass and his interactions with Dean as E and as Cas were perfect. I'm happy with SG's writing in this one, she did a great job. I agree about scruffy Sam - like to see more of him too ;)

about Rachel - she's got a back problem and she's taking steroids for it, thus the swollen face, but I kinda like her as Meg, she gives her a snarkiness that rivals Dean's somewhat. Nikki was awesome though and I do wish they had recast her in the part (too late now though).

Hugs and smiles!
gaelicspirit
Mar. 28th, 2012 08:18 pm (UTC)
she's got a back problem and she's taking steroids for it, thus the swollen face

Well, now I feel like a complete jerk for bring it up. *facepalm* The hubs is on prednisone for Crohns and the exact same thing happens to him. I had no idea.

Rachel's delivery as Meg is almost too snarky for me. I often have trouble figuring out what she's talking about. LOL! But maybe that's just me....

Thanks so much for reading and taking time to comment. :)
taylorariel
Mar. 24th, 2012 03:02 pm (UTC)
For me this was an episode that had so much potential...and went nowhere.

This episode should have had a sense of mad desperation and shock throughout it and boy was that lacking.

Jared did a great job with the role he was given here and it was very good to see Misha again. Especially at the hospital when he was told he could kill the demons and he set off to do so- with a determined but frightened expression. I liked that.

After going sleepless for days and suffering the physical tramua of being smashed by a car, Sam was in remarkably good condition. Such good condition that he could actually rescue a victim from a ghost. Amazing.

He should have been bed-ridden and had tubes throughout his body providing nutrition, hydration and sedation. Instead he was lounging around in his perfectly clean, crisp white scrubs. Please.

When Dean burst into the doctor's office and demanded to see his brother he was in full rage-fear-desperation-panic mode. Just like he should have been. And then, in seconds, the mode faded away...never to return.

While Dean was in his cabin/hotel/house hideaway alone-for the first time in his life- making phonecalls to strangers to try to save his brother he should have been in anger/panic mode again. He should have been pacing and ripping the book apart and slamming his phone down with frustration. Instead he was calmly sipping beer, eating peanuts/chips and sighing. Come on!

And because the sudden appearence of Cas was supposed to be so big and so powerful a thing, Meg's appearance should not have come until the very end of the episode- with Cas left in the mental institute and Dean and Sam driving away. Then we should have had the exact same scene we had of Meg getting the job at the hospital- without having seen her before at all. The demons that appeared to fight Dean could have easily told him Crowley was hunting for Cas; we didn't need Meg to tell us. And Dean- for once this season- should have been able to make a kill himself and not needed to be rescued.

Meg's sudden appearance at the end of the episode would have brought the shock value to the show (since we ALL knew Cas was coming back this episode)and left us all wondering why she was there and what she was going to do to Cas.
Writers blew that opportunity.

I felt Dean had basically nothing to do in this episode except give Cas his trenchcoat and push him in the direction of the mental institute. Perhaps he is so sick and tired of having to constantly save his brother that he is just cold to it now. I don't know. But the character was not written the way the Dean Winchester I love should have been written. There was none of that "I-will-do-whatever-the-hell-I-have-to-to-save-my-brother" feeling here and I missed that.

Jared did a very good job and I , for one, am so glad that boring Lucifer story is finally over. I don't worry as much for Cas in regards to Lucifer because Castiel is an angel himself. I just hope the lousy writers get Cas out of there by season's end.

And after all the hype for this episode, scenes show us getting the inane "Garth" back and the boys just falling right back into pace. No bumps at all.

This was not a horrible episode for me: Jared did a good job, it was so good to see Misha and Jensen together again, and maybe we can finally say goodbye to (the excellent) Mark Pelligrino. But it did not have the impact it should have had for me. It was average and really could have come at any time in any season.

This late in the season I was expecting more. What I really want is for Dean to find the impala again so he can have an ally once more and get back on the road.

Always good to read your thoughts and comments.
Best to you and yours,
MD
jackfan2
Mar. 24th, 2012 09:24 pm (UTC)
THIS! ALL OF THIS! I COMPLETELY AGREE!!!!

God, you said everything I felt about this ep. I wanted badly to love it, it got close several times, then fluttered off into stupidity each and every time.
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thruterryseyes
Mar. 24th, 2012 04:22 pm (UTC)
I'm going to read this when I can give it the time it needs. Just wanted you to know I had looked but didn't want to skim.
gaelicspirit
Mar. 28th, 2012 09:52 pm (UTC)
Thanks for this. And I'm counting the hours until you get here.
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chemm80
Mar. 24th, 2012 04:50 pm (UTC)
Hey, sorry I missed you last week--things were busy and I really didn't care that much for the episode--didn't hate it, didn't love it--but I just didn't have the energy to rehash it. And I say that with every knowledge that you were jetlagged and even busier when you wrote your Ramble. You're way more dedicated than me, lol.

But this week--I liked. A lot.

I needed Sam to be better. One more episode of Broken!Sam might’ve sunk me

I think that was rather well done. They dragged it out long enough that Sam!girls could hardly complain that it was easily dismissed, that "Dean gets all the good man-pain," etc., but then dispatched it in a way that we could all move on. I absolutely agree with your assertion that it "solves one problem in a way I could accept and creates a new one I can’t wait to see how it plays out." and for the same reasons. When Cas stepped forward to try to heal Sam, it really hit me, I actually rolled my eyes, because you're right--it would have been another quick fix from him. And when it didn't work, I said out loud, "Yes! Good job writers!" (yes, my family thinks I'm ridiculous) and I was on the edge of my seat waiting to find out what they were going to do (because I agree that it was time to get Sam out of this and I figured the writers knew that too). Like you, I don't give a shit about Cas, really, but there's a lot I like about him taking Sam's madness upon himself (even if the logic of the solution is really problematic--I can handwave that like so many other things on the show). For one thing, it's a very redemptive act, Cas trying to fix and pay for what he's done, which is part of the reason I think Dean was pretty okay with it (beyond the fact that he'll do anything to make Sam okay).

I also like your take (later on in the Ramble) of how Misha is playing Cas 2.0 so well (not quite Castiel, but reminiscent)--although I've had problems with the way they've used Castiel's character in the past, I've never had a problem with Misha. He's very good. Not to mention entertaining on Twitter and at Cons. :D

I want to see it get to [Dean], all of this loss, all of this having to shake it off, all of this fear and worry and protection that turns him inside out and is only numbed through alcohol.

I think he's just been holding it together for Sam. I think/hope that once Sam is back on his feet for real, Dean will have his breakdown, or as much of one as he's capable of.

In a darker, older role-reversal of Faith, Dean is telling Sam he’s going to find him some help. I could almost see S1 Sam telling a bruised, pale Dean that he’s not going to let him die.

Oh yeah. It was such a complete mirror of that episode the I might have found it repetitious and weak writing if it hadn't been so long ago. Because it was over 6 years ago (I think?), I just see it as a really nice example of continuity and the writers paying attention to canon.

Aside – the number he leaves for a call back? Has a Lawrence, KS, area code. I loved that touch. *grins*

Ah, I didn't realize, of course. Good thing I have you to point it out, *g* because yes, it's pretty cool.

continued in part two
chemm80
Mar. 24th, 2012 04:50 pm (UTC)
Part the Second
Sam taking his meds (though fat lot of good they seem to be doing).

I give Show a lot of credit for that one small detail because I think it speaks volumes to what you were saying in your previous paragraphs--Sam is at the point where he'll try anything. Because I can't imagine any other circumstance where he'd willingly just swallow whatever a worker in a mental institution handed him. Normally he'd be too concerned about maintaining control, but he's admitting that he's beyond that now. Not to mention that incredible look he gives the nurse as he does it--it's so pleading. God, Jared. Sometimes I can't get over how much his acting has improved over the last few years. My little J2-loving heart wants that to be because he's spent so much time playing off of such a consummate actor as Jensen. But I digress. :D

Rachel Miner’s Meg is my least favorite demon-ally. Her brand of sarcasm is hard to wade through to find the meaning a lot of the time.

I liked Meg when Nikki Aycox played her--I liked the character as a baddie and I LOVE Nikki--but I don't care for the weird way Miner talks. I don't know enough about her to know if that's just her natural voice or something she affects for Meg, but either way, DO NOT WANT.

She tells him the doctor answer for why she's there is because she’s “psychotically depressed with suicidal (something…didn’t catch that work, but basically tendencies?).”

"Suicidal ideation." It means you're thinking of ways to kill yourself.

I didn’t pick up on how Dean knew the man was a demon

He used his Spidey sense. :D

The Doc says it might be time to talk surgery options – only not lobotomy. I’m not sure what surgery they’re talking about if not that, but they don’t get into it.

Again at this point I'm arguing with my TV screen, saying that there's no way they'd do any surgery without written consent and Sam can't give it because he's crazy and so they have to wait for Dean to sign and then...oh, yeah. Demons.

And so yeah, demons and angels are back in the picture. I suspect a lot of people are going to be unhappy about that, but I'm willing to wait and see where it goes. Til next time! :D

Edited at 2012-03-24 04:50 pm (UTC)
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jesters_tear82
Mar. 24th, 2012 07:51 pm (UTC)
I love that you loved it! Because I did too :) Oh & not related at all but I just listened to "awake my soul" by mumford & sons for the first time the other day - this line made me think of Dean (must admit lots of things make me think of our boy ;) "My weakness I feel I must finally show..."

The episode was very good, Sera knows how to shake & break our heroes, she gave both Sam & Dean focus - of course for me (as I suspect for you too) it works in different ways for each - Sam I wanna pet, Dean I want to.. well you know ;)
Sam getting shock therapy in the end - reminded me of Sam Beckett!! In one of my favorite eps of QL. Only his invisible buddy Al tried to save him unlike Sam Winchester's Luci - who was again so annoyingly awesome :) Can't hate the guy, Mark Pellegrino rocked. I was glad he got "transferred" to Cas but for the life of me I don't understand how! I mean - is Luci real or not? If yes then it makes sense to pass him on like a curse or a haunting being, but if he exists solely in Sam's mind then I don't get it. Luci has a totally other meaning for Cas, he wasn't turtured by him & while he might be bothered by his nagging it shouldn't drive him crazy. Hell memories were more to Sam then just Hallucifer, no? Is it all really gone? Makes my brain hurt analizing so I'll just be grateful Sam's ok because Cas might suffer emotionally but can't die in this situation at least.

Speaking of Cas - Yay he's back! I was very excited to see him, the fact he got his friend back (even if for a moment) means so much to our brokem hero. The convo in the car & keeping Cas' trench coat showes how much Dean needed him back, & for Cas this meant redemption, saying he's sorry - had an effect of me. I'm sure once S&D have time they'll do whatever it takes to get Cas to normal. Now the wife issue.. was she sent by God? Maybe if so hers & E's relationship wasn't sexual, could be she had a specific role to fill as his care giver & now he's OK she'll let him go "do his healing thing", OR she could be back big time demanding her hubs back - she might even be carrying his angel baby!! :)

Meg is a total bleh - I read in above comments why the actress gained the extra face weight but it's no exuse for her bad acting.. sorry! In past eps she was tolerable, now she's just delivering lines with no emotion behind them. That said, I'm interested in what happens to Cas now she's sniffing around him..

Most of all, I loved Jensen's, Jared's & Misha's performances, they made me proud. Also? Bobby's help was right on! (even if Jim Beaver himself wasn't there, it felt kinda like the whole gang was together again) & while watching I couldn't help thinking: This cannot be over in 6 episodes!! It just can't. So if we get more of THIS - I'm all pumped up for S8.

Thanks for the ramble, BTW your gift-fic to me last week was the best & I dare say I want more ;) When is your next one due? Can hardly wait, I don't read much fics anymore but yours are always anticipated.

Catch you soonish!
gaelicspirit
Mar. 29th, 2012 02:33 pm (UTC)
Okay, I'm totally addicted to Mumford & Sons. If you liked "Awake My Soul," try "After the Storm," (there's a line in it that kills me every time: 'There will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.' I get choked up every time I hear it).

Sam getting shock therapy in the end - reminded me of Sam Beckett

YES! I love you for calling this out -- I said the same thing (to my empty living room). That QL episode always broke my heart because Sam B went through all of these previous 'souls' he'd been and when he was "Jimmy" it just about killed Al. *sniff*

Makes my brain hurt analizing so I'll just be grateful Sam's ok because Cas might suffer emotionally but can't die in this situation at least.

THIS. I hope we get more explanation in the episodes to come, but for now, I'm here with you.

Now the wife issue.. was she sent by God? Maybe if so hers & E's relationship wasn't sexual, could be she had a specific role to fill as his care giver & now he's OK she'll let him go "do his healing thing", OR she could be back big time demanding her hubs back - she might even be carrying his angel baby!! :)

The wife was just a weird twist to me -- and I wanted to know that the boys had at least reached out to her. "Sorry, your husband with the special abilities? Yeah, he's not going to be coming back because he's in a mental ward trying to ignore Lucifer. Have a great life!"

This cannot be over in 6 episodes!! It just can't. So if we get more of THIS - I'm all pumped up for S8.

*grins* I love that you think that. :) Hee.

You're more than welcome for the gift fic. :) You'd inspired me and I was yearning to write. Here's my problem when it comes to working on my fic -- I'm a tad OCD. I have to get through work deadlines first, then answer ramble comments before the next episode, and if I can do all of that and still have some time, I will work on the story. Which is why it's hard for me to wright when we have a string of new episodes.

I do this with other things, too. I can't go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, that sort of thing. LOL! SO, I will be writing soon -- it's up on my desktop as enticement to get through comments. It's just slow going.

See you soon!

rince1wind
Mar. 24th, 2012 09:01 pm (UTC)
Good ramble! I like the episode, too, though I felt they were rushing a bit toward the end when Cas came up with the "I could shift it" thing with no more than about a half a second of thought. But then, I always want at least another half hour of the show, so this is nothing new!

I think the reason Sam didn't take his own life, and didn't seem to even consider it, was that at best he had no idea where he'd end up – at worst, he'd be back in the Cage. At best, heaven, perhaps, but killing oneself – would that act send him Downstairs? Being topside, even as messed up as he was, would have had to be better than being in the Cage.

I think the rest of Marin's diagnosis was "suicidal ideation," don't remember for sure.

We were supposed to think, I'm supposing, that Dean didn't kill – or try to kill – Meg at least in part because she convinced him of their mutual usefulness. She helped him with Thing 1 and Thing 2, pointed out he doesn't have any other backup, and Dean couldn't know what he was up against on his way to and back at the hospital. I.e. he needed her and for now, at least, he could trust her.

I'm inclined to think (whether the writers did or not I don't know) that Dean also almost thinks of Meg as an old friend, someone with whom, as she says, he "goes way back." You know, sort of how a song you hated in the 80s (don't know how old you are!) when they played it all the time becomes in the 2010s kind of welcome because it reminds you of the pub you used to hang out in in grad school? You still don't like the song, but it brings back some good memories you don't otherwise access. So he's ambivalent about killing her (just as I don't actually leave when someone's playing "Killing Me Softly," despite the fact that the song makes me gag).

I felt terrible about Daphne apparently not having been told what happened to "Emmanuel," but maybe we're supposed to think it's a week later? It looked as though Sam and Dean were running off, just leaving Cas in Sam's place, but Sam obviously had his own clothes back (couldn't have traded with Cas!) and Cas had on those odd white scrubs. Then again, why didn't they just write Daphne in, sitting with Cas/Emmanuel in his room?

Another thing that felt a little wrong was that Dean didn't go down to the hospital with Cas to fight the demons. With his knife, I think he would have. Maybe even Meg, too, since I'd imagine all the other demons would know she'd been loyal to Lucifer.

I also am very glad that Sam has been made better. Jared Padalecki did a great job of looking like he was in terrible distress; Sam either had to get better, I think, or die.

Amazing they managed to get all of this into 42 minutes, isn't it? I love this show.

gaelicspirit
Mar. 29th, 2012 02:38 pm (UTC)
But then, I always want at least another half hour of the show, so this is nothing new!

I know, right?! SO many episodes feel like they've had to shove a solution in at the end and I'm like...if only we had more time!

We were supposed to think, I'm supposing, that Dean didn't kill – or try to kill – Meg at least in part because she convinced him of their mutual usefulness

Oooohhh. Okay, so thanks for pointing that out to me because I obviously didn't pick up what they were putting down. *laugh*

So he's ambivalent about killing her (just as I don't actually leave when someone's playing "Killing Me Softly," despite the fact that the song makes me gag).

I can go with that theory as well. (Also, I graduated high school in 1992. So there you go.)

maybe we're supposed to think it's a week later? It looked as though Sam and Dean were running off, just leaving Cas in Sam's place, but Sam obviously had his own clothes back

Actually, I'd feel a lot better if it was a week later. It would help me with Sam being able to get up and go after nearly dying from sleep deprivation, too.

Ditto on the show love! :) Hope to see you again after tomorrow's episode!
amberdreams
Mar. 24th, 2012 09:30 pm (UTC)
I'm not going to ramble on about your ramble today - suffice it to say it makes me happy that you are of a like mind to me in having got a lot out of this one. I've read a few people's reviews who hated it, or came out of it largely discontented, but I thought it was one of the better episodes for many of the reasons you've gone into above.
(I do find Rachel Miner's Meg difficult though - and her face this time threw me too - though I read somewhere the poor girl was having an allergic reaction to some medication).
Overall assessment - There was meat in this Samdwich and it wasn't maggoty!
gaelicspirit
Mar. 29th, 2012 02:40 pm (UTC)
*is happy to see you*

it makes me happy that you are of a like mind to me in having got a lot out of this one

It makes me happy, too.

I feel like a big jerk for calling out Rachel Miner's puffy face. The hubs takes prednisone for Crohns and it does the same thing to him. I had no idea what she was dealing with and it threw me. *covers face*

Eewww...you had to say 'maggoty'.... *shudders* That's just...blech. *laugh* :)

See you soon!
impala1967
Mar. 24th, 2012 10:14 pm (UTC)
I am soooo pleased that Misha/Cas is back, even if its just a few episodes.

And I'm soooo pleased that the Broken Sam arc is over?? It wasn't for me that jared was getting more storyline, as you know, that after 16 episodes of the same Sam problem I was over it. Its almost like the whole season has been devoted to Sam and his problem and now its a rush to the finish line with dealing with the Levis. I know with Sera that in her mind this is a Sam show ( you just have to look at the s6 and 7 dvd covers to see that) but I do wish that she would remember that there are 2 winchesters. There really hasn't been a writer since Raelle(?) that got Dean.

Poor Meg, what happened to her face, I was looking for signs of weight gain but it must be medication. Poor gurl but I was always a Nikki when it came to Demon!Meg.

Loved the commentary between Dean/Cas/Emmanuel. E remineded me so much of early Cas. You could see that Cas was there just under the surface. And the trenchcoat, what more can I say ......

I didn't like the ending with them just leaving Cas behind but that is Sera's writing for you. I think she just wanted to wrap it up .... but I want to see more to it so I've decided that it was deans way of coping with the return of Cas. He was at a loss and found it the easist to leave him there where he thinks its safe. But if Sam has been able to cope all this time why is an Angel suddenly catatonic ... again just Sera I guess.

so no Misha next week, I'm sad but sorta glad they are spinning out his mini arc. So it seems we maybe dealing with deans alcohol problem next week. A demon you can only see when drunk ... right up Deans alley at the moment.

oh and it seems Bobby is still around, helping Dean find that hunter. I'm hoping he's in heaven and just paying a visit now and then to the boys cause I'm going to be pissed if he said no to that reaper.

So yes all in all I did enjoy the episode but probably cause my main 2 sticking points are done, no Misha and Broken Sam. I even went back last night and rewatched the Dean/Cas parts again (couldn't watch the Sam parts, just can't watch the pain any more) so I must have liked it =)

See you next week on the flip side
gaelicspirit
Mar. 29th, 2012 02:43 pm (UTC)
Yay for end to Broken!Sam arc (we hope)!

I know Kripke was the one to say (through Chuck) that endings are tough, but I have to agree with you that Sera seems to have more trouble with her endings than Kripke ever did. I think that perhaps it's because she knows what's coming, but it often times leaves us going, but...wait, what about...?

I wonder if we should all be drunk when we watch next week? ;) *ponders the merits of rambling while tipsy....*

And I'm soooo on board (right now) with Bobby still being around. As long as he doesn't turn into an angry spirit they have to vanquish or some such, I want him there helping Dean as much as he can. *loves it*

Rewatching is a definite clue that you liked! :) *grins*

See you soon!!!
pickamix
Mar. 24th, 2012 11:07 pm (UTC)
The word you missed that Marion said about suicide was ideation. Suicidal ideation is when a person thinks about committing suicide a lot.

Also the surgical option the doctor was talking about was ECT. Elctro-convulsive therapy or shock therapy. It is considered a surgical procedure. They don't really do lobotomies anymore (thank goodness.)

I was fairly pleased with this episode... as far as realism when it comes to psychiatric issues are concerned it sounded like they actually did some homework... which is impressive. I was disappointed that medication didn't help AT ALL. But given that Sam's case isn't exactly normal let me go with it.

I liked that there was a ghost... that made me happy... it did for me what it did for you. It was there to help Sam, give him a reason to keep going. Not that he could commit suicide on a locked ward, but hey... the will to live does a lot.

I'm okay with Castiel fixing Sam. I felt that since it was his fault that Sam was broken like that in the first place, it was only right that he fix him. However, I don't care if we ever or never see him again. Castiel was okay at first but then he just annoyed me. I don't understand the die hard Castiel fans. I really just don't. His character was never consistent and the only time he was interesting they copped out and gave us Leviathans instead of God as the bad guy. Seriously? God is such a better bad guy!!! I HATE THE LEVIS!!!! They be boring. :(

Believe it or not... I almost wrote a SPN fic where we had CasGod as the bad guy for a season... but I just couldn't bring myself to try and write the SPN fandom again. And I think the fic would have just pissed people off, so why bother?

I'll save you anymore whinging.

And you mentioned me in your ramble... I realize you didn't mention me by name, but I know you were talking about me. It was very sweet of you. Thanks!!!

And now that Sam is no longer crazy... I can stop hemorrhaging personal insane horror all over you. :P

*hugs and love*
cathy1967
Mar. 26th, 2012 06:27 am (UTC)
Totally agree with you about Cas. :)
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keywester
Mar. 25th, 2012 12:48 am (UTC)
hey gaelic-it's meggin
This episode did rock didn’t it? It was packed with so much new plot info that my head was spinning. And that is why your Ramble helps me sort it all out so well, coz you see the details I miss and voice the nuances I can only feel but not articulate.

You wrote: (When he (Dean) said, 'Screw Cas,' I heard echoes of Dean's pained, "Dad's an ass. You don't do that! You don't lay that kind of crap on your kids!" back in S2's Playthings.)”

I felt that exact same thing. Dean being angry at family doesn’t mean he’s cut them out of his life. He never does that. But he doesn't forget either.

You wrote: “Just then the book “somehow” falls off the table.”

Didn’t you hear the “Whooosh!” that preceded that fall? My guess is it was Bobby’s spirit helping Dean find the right guy to lead him to Cas. The guy should have some perks like that in the spirit world in order to help out his ‘idjits’ ( I still miss Bobby sooo much)

You wrote: “Rachel Miner’s Meg is my least favorite demon-ally. Her brand of sarcasm is hard to wade through to find the meaning a lot of the time.”

But that is the very reason I like her character, she’s offputting because she’s not easy to understand and I’m left thinking, “Right, no wait, what?” -hehe. Just the way a deceptive demon aught to talk.

You Wrote: “Okay, tooootally surfacey of me, but did she look like she’d put on some weight to you guys? Her face was much rounder (making her eyes look smaller). For some reason, it took me a bit to get used to her.”

Yeah, the new Bobble-head version is a bit disconcerting.

You Wrote: “I thought it was just a part of the story to me until Cas admitted that he was the reason all of this was happening to Sam, the reason Dean had been through the wringer about his brother. And then I felt a strange sort of weight lift.”

Me too. And that is where the genius of this writing came together. All of the fans of this show who had been subliminally carrying this weight around too, I think, felt it lift the moment Cas recognized his guilt. ( a huge growth achievement spiritually for an angel since they hardly ever put themselves in a position where they would do something to feel guilty about)

You wrote: “Dean opens his trunk and I caught my breath. No matter what old beater they were driving, no matter how many cars they’ve had to switch up over the last few months, he’d kept it. The trench coat.”

I know!!! And he never had it dry cleaned-Dean is such a sentimentalist (LOL)

I felt so many mixed emotions as Dean and Sam exited the hospital and left Cas behind. I don’t think he was any safer there. Demons had surrounded the place once before. AND Meg was unaccounted for at the time they left. Dean already knows she has “plans” for Cas. But I think you’re right; Dean’s first concern was to put distance between them and this new ground zero. Maybe later, after Sam’s had a chance to rest and they’ve done some research they can get back and try to “rescue” Cas from this new problem.

I think Dean forgave Cas once Sam was healed. And Dean doesn’t like to leave a man behind, his guilt won’t let him forget Adam either. But they have to pick their battles very carefully now. I’m sure saving Cas is on the list of things Dean wants to do, just don’t know how far down it is from ‘Kill Dick Roman’.
gaelicspirit
Mar. 29th, 2012 02:49 pm (UTC)
Re: hey gaelic-it's meggin
Hi you! :)

Dean being angry at family doesn’t mean he’s cut them out of his life. He never does that. But he doesn't forget either.

Yep -- Dean has a memory like flypaper.

Didn’t you hear the “Whooosh!” that preceded that fall? My guess is it was Bobby’s spirit helping Dean find the right guy to lead him to Cas.

Yeah, that's why I put "somehow" in quotes. *laugh* I was being factious. I said "thank you, Bobby" at the end because of course it's Bobby helping! :) I totally agree with you.

Just the way a deceptive demon aught to talk.

You've got a point, but her delivery is still a bit too mush-mouthed for me to understand. I don't care enough about her to work at it, y'know?

But I think you’re right; Dean’s first concern was to put distance between them and this new ground zero. Maybe later, after Sam’s had a chance to rest and they’ve done some research they can get back and try to “rescue” Cas from this new problem.

Yeah, agreed, because this won't be the last time we see him. It's too much of a loose end.

I’m sure saving Cas is on the list of things Dean wants to do, just don’t know how far down it is from ‘Kill Dick Roman’.

Agreed.

Thank you for reading and taking time to share your thoughts! Always good to hear from you. See you soon!

dripri
Mar. 25th, 2012 12:55 am (UTC)
Hey there, welcome back from your travels. Isn't it good to be back on a somewhat regular schedule? I know it makes me more human.

Definitely happy Sam is being cured. My interest was being taxed by his situation. The longer it went on, the more desensitized I was becoming. This is a fictional character and for the story to work, we know this too shall pass. This wheel was left spinning (and sometimes ignored as is Dean's drinking) too long. I may have had more interest in this storyline if this was a situation both boys were working on together. However, the story was only showing the audience Sam's condition and his increasing inability to cope. Dean has no idea Sam is falling asleep at the wheel of a car, he has no idea how bad things are getting other than Sam is looking like crap. He knows Sam doesn't want to sleep, I don't know that he knew Sam couldn't sleep. There is a difference. Sam hadn't been sharing, and without Dean's involvement, I'm less interested.

I liked the ghost story. Sam is at his best when he is thinking. He needed something to do with his wakefulness. Nothing like being useful to keep your self preservation going.


Watching Dean cope with the return of Cas was spot on. The range of emotions was great. Dean's quiet display of his deep anger was powerful. I was almost angry all over again for him.

I have no idea why Meg was needed. I can understand why she would want a bargaining chip or secret weapon, but why the story needs her I guess we will find out. I am not a fan of this actress (Nikki was much better), and as such, had the uncharitable observation that her face looks fat. I hate when I react like that, but I can't lie to myself and say I didn't have the thought. So I try to justify why it might be. I was thinking either she had to take a round of steroids for a condition or she is pregnant.

Mark P as Lucifer has been great. He would drive me to the edge of reason too. Thank god my little brother never saw his performance. He would have gotten some good ideas. As it was, I was becoming envious of his toys. I loved the cats cradle string, the bull horn and the fire crackers. Never was a fan of the three little pigs, Luci doesn't have to share.

The ending was a little weak. How Cas transfers the hallucinations (takes a piece of Sam's soul?) was convenient and leaving Cas behind isn't the boys usual MO. But hey, I wanted Sam's situation rectified so beggars can't be choosers. I assume time was probably a factor also. I hope the boys end up going back for him. I personally like the character and I like watching Dean interact with him. I'll be watching to see where it goes.

Till next time, Ciao for now.
gaelicspirit
Mar. 29th, 2012 02:53 pm (UTC)
Hi! Thanks for the welcome back. :) It's definitely good to have some of my 'normal' back.

My interest was being taxed by his situation. The longer it went on, the more desensitized I was becoming.

Agreed.

The ghost story was good for me in that it showed Sam still engaging in life.

I wish Meg had been left until the very end -- just showing us the fact that she's applied for the job to be there with Cas, but not give us anything else. The shock factor would have been better as would the mystery. Cas could have found out he was Cas any number of other ways.

Thank god my little brother never saw his performance. He would have gotten some good ideas.

Oh, this made me LAUGH! :)

I wanted Sam's situation rectified so beggars can't be choosers. I assume time was probably a factor also. I hope the boys end up going back for him. I personally like the character and I like watching Dean interact with him. I'll be watching to see where it goes.

Agreed, good point, and YES. The boys have to go back for him at some point -- or if Meg gets him out, then they have to help in some way.

See you soon, bella! Slainte!
ladyarcherfan3
Mar. 25th, 2012 02:18 am (UTC)
Despite a few wibbles in the writing that even I noticed (I didn't get who Dean seemed to be waiting for a call from in the store before the demon attack, cuz it looked like he was expecting something, for example) this was a great episode.

I like the character and was happy to see him again; I also thought it was a believable way to fix Sam, and I’m SO glad it’s done.
I'm so with you there. The way Sam's broken wall was resolved was a quick fix,ut aren't most fixes in SPN relatively fast, even if they come with a price tag of some sort?

Cas' return and the subsequent converstations with Dean, I think, really helped Dean start to "shake off" or at least "deal with" what happened. I doubt he's entirely over it - his departure at the end seemed a bit like he was trying not to think about how he found his friend, got his little brother back, and lost his friend again all at once and trying to convince himself that it was the best way. Not that I wasn't satisfied with how this went, because there might be new avenues of stories, but it seems like Dean might have dispelled a bit of weight on his shoulders only to take on some more.

Lucifer - I love to hate him. That performance is always so on that you have to laugh, but at the same time cry because of how Sam was being absolutely shredded. Gah, Sammy...

Speaking of Sam, I literally teared up a bit when he started helping Marin when he realized that she was being haunted. Here's the poor guy, absolutely and almost literally beat to Hell, and he can't help but help someone with what he knows best - hunting. (I teared up several times in this episode, that was just one example).

As for Meg and Crowley and Emmanuel, the way I understood it in my brain was that the demons that were going after Emmanuel (what, four, with the one at Daphne's, and the three at the store?) were all low level and possibly shooting for some sort of raise because the reputation Emmanuel's healing was gaining. Crowley wasn't involved yet, but if he got a hold of Amnesia!Cas, it would be bad. Though what's stopping Meg from using the poor guy as a weapon was a question.

Basically, I did love this episode and was satisfied with it. I'm always torn between thinking thinky thoughts and pondering it like you do so wonderfully in your Rambles, and just straight up enjoying it for the ride. It's always a good ride, but the characters do prompt more thought and discussion than a show has done in a while for me. (And then I'm scared that I'll over analyze this show and it will lose it's luster.)

As always, fantastic Ramble, and I'm excited for the hilarity that the next show looks to be. I will stop blathering now. :)
gaelicspirit
Mar. 29th, 2012 02:56 pm (UTC)
I didn't get who Dean seemed to be waiting for a call from in the store before the demon attack, cuz it looked like he was expecting something, for example

Yeah, I know, right? Did we miss something there?

his departure at the end seemed a bit like he was trying not to think about how he found his friend, got his little brother back, and lost his friend again all at once and trying to convince himself that it was the best way.

Agreed.

all low level and possibly shooting for some sort of raise because the reputation Emmanuel's healing was gaining

That's definitely one possibility. I don't think they made their intentions (the writers, I mean) very clear. Maybe that was on purpose?

Thank you for reading and offering my your thoughts and analyzing. I dig it. :)

Hope to see you after tomorrows!
bagginsdvm
Mar. 25th, 2012 03:30 am (UTC)
The performances from Jared, Jensen, Misha & Mark were absolutely riveting!

Jared had my heart hurting for Sam's desperation to escape the Luci-vision, to find relief & sleep, & then his resignation to the seeming hopelessness of the situation when Dean visited him in the hospital. With the apparent lack of security or much supervision in that ward, he probably could have walked out the door, but where would he go that would be any better in his current situation? I wanted to hug him & tell him what a good person he is when he was helping Marin with her ghost issues despite his own suffering. Lucifer's torture, especially the firecrackers, had me cringing every time Sammy jumped. I know the show is telling us that Lucifer is just hallucinations in Sam's head, but I still wonder if the actual Luci is in some way getting into Sam's mind to torment him. I am glad that he is "cured". Dean needs Sammy back! And so do I!!

I can never get enough of watching Jensen's face & body language tell the story of what Dean is thinking. The anguish in his eyes when Sam said those things about his soul in the hospital, the confusion yet holding his feelings in when first seeing Cas, the conversation with Emmanuel in the car, handing the trenchcoat back to Cas, the way he folded in on himself & sort of slumped against the wall when Cas said he couldn't repair Sam's wall.

Misha never disappoints either. I completely bought the character of Emmanuel & his Cas-like yet different mannerisms & speech. The montage as Castiel smote the demons & remembered his true self was fantastic. I was very pleased that Cas owned what he did & realized he could not atone for it all, but his way of helping Sam was a start. I don't expect Dean (or Sam)to totally forgive him, but both boys understand redemption, & will give him a 2nd chance.

Mark was an absolute treat as Lucifer once again. He had me chuckling at the same time I wanted to gag him for Sam's sake!

Yes, I don't get Meg's purpose at this point, but I'm sure the show does have a reason for her appearance here. I also felt sorry for Daphne, & for the demon-possessed people (they never stood a chance of being saved from the knife or Castiel's power; makes me a little nostalgic for Sam's ability to exorcise the demon while saving the host).
gaelicspirit
Mar. 29th, 2012 03:54 pm (UTC)
Lucifer's torture, especially the firecrackers, had me cringing every time Sammy jumped.

Dude -- ditto on that. That was one of the things that had me wanting to skip through Sam's scenes. *make it stop!*

Dean needs Sammy back!

Word!

I can never get enough of watching Jensen's face & body language tell the story of what Dean is thinking. The anguish in his eyes when Sam said those things about his soul in the hospital, the confusion yet holding his feelings in when first seeing Cas, the conversation with Emmanuel in the car, handing the trenchcoat back to Cas, the way he folded in on himself & sort of slumped against the wall when Cas said he couldn't repair Sam's wall.

*hugs this whole paragraph* OMG, how it is possible to love a fictional character THIS MUCH!?!?!

I always feel a little sorry for the demon-possessed people who fall victim to the Demon Killing Knife. I kinda hate that so much has happened to our boys that they don't seem to remember there's an innocent person in there. :( Or if the do remember it, it's a casualty of war.

Thank you for reading and taking time to comment! I love hearing from you.


msninacat
Mar. 25th, 2012 08:10 am (UTC)
Your thoughts on the whole Cas/Misha thing. Right there with you. I have one friend who did NOTHING but bitch about him returning and pandering to the fans and then got mad when I said if it wasn't for fan pandering, Mark Pelligrino wouldn't be back and there wouldn't still be a show. Oh well..

And I really don’t know where he’s going to take it – where the writers are going to have him go with it. A continued upward trajectory of ‘dealing with it’ until he breaks from the strain? Or just…dealing with it, period? I want to see it get to him, all of this loss, all of this having to shake it off, all of this fear and worry and protection that turns him inside out and is only numbed through alcohol. I want it to get to him, for him to look at it, wrestle it to the ground, defeat it, and emerge stronger for it. *shrug* We’ll see….

On one hand, I don't wanna see Dean hurt that much. I know logically it would make the story better and more true to real life but I don't wanna see it again. But I think now that Sammy's back in the saddle maybe we will see it. At least the potential is there. I'm hoping with you through slotted fingers. ;D

It reminded me of a line from Good Will Hunting where Robin William’s character tells Will that he wouldn’t know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, “because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms visiting hours don't apply to you.”

That is a really good reference for these two. We've seen Dean like this a lot. I think it would be cool to see Sam like this a couple of times. He's even scarier because you don't really expect it from him even though you know he's capable of it.

Although, on a purely superficial level? I dug the scruffy beard. Sam should be scruffy (but well-rested) more often.

YES! All the men on this show look so nice scruffy. Only good thing about hiatus. ;D

I wanted to hate him. I really did. I wanted to be irritated with him for breaking up a good brotherly moment, too. But unfortunately his performance was so spot-on and purposely irritating and insanity-inducing I just couldn’t.

I have a weakness for really well done, charismatic villians and Mark P.'s Lucifer is definitely one of them. I don't care how wrong it is, I just continue to laugh at him. Even when he's clearly tormenting our poor Sammy.

Especially when Meg was telling Dean. Rachel Miner’s Meg is my least favorite demon-ally. Her brand of sarcasm is hard to wade through to find the meaning a lot of the time.

I don't really think we're meant to get exactly what's going on. I just went with the fact that Crowley would probably love to get his hands on a healer to exploit or trap the boys or someone else with the fact that he had a healer. I also REALLY HATE Rachel Miner's Meg. I think Meg really should have died with the whole Lilith thing and I really don't see the point of her multiple returns. Surely we could have had another unnamed minion to do this. That's my unreasonable sulking for the moment. lol

First, if Lucifer was in Sam’s broken head because Sam had been in the Cage, I find it interesting that it was still Lucifer when Cas “absorbed” broken bits. I mean – what did he shift out of Sam and into him, exactly?


I personally think that at least some part of Lucifer was actually still trapped in Sam. Like it didn't exactly get separated in the cage. Why else would it always be Lucifer tormenting him and not Michael too, or flashes of Adam? That just my thought on it.

I can't wait to see what happens either. I'm feeling bad things for my main man Crowley but honestly I hope he takes Meg out before they get him. ;D
gaelicspirit
Mar. 29th, 2012 04:00 pm (UTC)
I have one friend who did NOTHING but bitch about him returning and pandering to the fans and then got mad when I said if it wasn't for fan pandering, Mark Pelligrino wouldn't be back and there wouldn't still be a show.

This makes me laugh a little. People can be so interesting about things, can't they?

But I think now that Sammy's back in the saddle maybe we will see it. At least the potential is there. I'm hoping with you through slotted fingers.

Y'know, I know it sounds sadistic to say I want him to hurt -- but mainly it's because I need him to be human. To me, the strongest people aren't the ones who soldier on and never really act as if they feel the pain. The strongest people are the ones who feel the pain, understand it, and accept it.

And I don't see Dean doing the latter, I see him turning a blind eye to it. I see him stuffing it down and ignoring it. I need him to feel it, to let it take him to his knees for just a moment so that he can rise up and feel more whole.

I'm the type who needs the release valve. When I get angry, I have to pace and rant -- even if it's just for 5 minutes -- and let that out and then I can think coherently. If I'm hurt, I need to cry for a moment because if I don't I can't breathe.

I want to see that moment for Dean so that he is allowed to be human and so the weight of all he's had to bear doesn't crush him.

/Dean angst rant :)

I think it would be cool to see Sam like this a couple of times. He's even scarier because you don't really expect it from him even though you know he's capable of it.

Agreed!

I think Meg really should have died with the whole Lilith thing and I really don't see the point of her multiple returns. Surely we could have had another unnamed minion to do this.

Can't say I don't agree.

I'm feeling bad things for my main man Crowley but honestly I hope he takes Meg out before they get him.

I honestly hope he has a hand in helping to take down Dick Roman (as long as Dean delivers the killing blow).

Thanks for reading! See you soon! :)




borgmama1of5
Mar. 25th, 2012 08:29 am (UTC)
This:
"I want it to get to him, for him to look at it, wrestle it to the ground, defeat it, and emerge stronger for it."

What I desparately want too!

Your ramble, as usual, enhanced my experience of the episode by pointing out the details to be savored.

One thing that I felt strongly that I haven't seen mentioned elsewhere, was Dean's instinctive reaction to keeping amnesiaCas innocent. Beyond the utter weirdness he had to be feeling at driving not!Cas to see Sam, Dean really seemed to want to let Cas stay untouched by the darkness of reality, and I see that as a character trait in Dean stemming from how long he kept Sam 'innocent.'

To me, Dean's reaction was, 'It's good this Cas doesn't remember, then he won't have to feel guilty for what he's done, even if him not knowing means I can't be furiously pissed at him.'

That glimpse of Dean's heart seared me.
gaelicspirit
Mar. 29th, 2012 04:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for what you said about the ramble. It's that kind of stuff that makes me want to keep writing it. :)

Dean's instinctive reaction to keeping amnesiaCas innocent. Beyond the utter weirdness he had to be feeling at driving not!Cas to see Sam, Dean really seemed to want to let Cas stay untouched by the darkness of reality, and I see that as a character trait in Dean stemming from how long he kept Sam 'innocent.'

OMGosh, YES! This was so evident - and thank you for calling it out! I said it above and I'll say it again -- how is it possible to love a fictional character THIS MUCH?!

I know some of it is the way the writers envision him and create his history, but most of it is the way Jensen plays him. All that you saw *points up* was solely pulled from the tension in his words, the weight in his eyes, the slip of a wince across his face as he glanced away.

He does SO MUCH with a few lines -- allowing us to fill in all that can't be said.

I love it. Gosh, I'm glad tomorrow's Friday. *laugh!*
juppschmitz
Mar. 25th, 2012 03:46 pm (UTC)
Hiya!

I, too, am so glad the Sam/Hell story arc is over. (At least I seriously hope so. I mean, the whole of season 6 and 17 episodes of season 7? Enough already.)

I didn't like it from the beginning and it got worse in a hurry. So I'll just not comment on anything to do with it. So I don't start ranting. :)

What struck me in this episode (as in last episode) was that Dean seemed oddly unconcerned by it all. I mean he used to be so intense! Last week I put it down to him keeping his game face on for Sam.

But even interacting with Cas was a lot like this. Compare this to a season 4 Dean! The difference, man!

So now I changed my mind and decided it's because he's dead inside. All the blows that have kept coming just left him numb. No more energy. No more emotions. And yeah, looking at it like this makes sense to little Dean-girl me. And as long as show doesn't say otherwise I'm gonna stick with it. *nods*

My two favourite scenes in this ep were the one where Cas tells Dean You're not a machine, Dean. You're human.
This. He so desperately needed someone to tell him this it's not even real!! I really did and still do hate Bobby for his You ain't human line from way back when!

The other one was the trenchcoat scene. Who needs words to show forgiveness and love? This was so much more than words could have said. How better to convince Cas that even though he betrayed Dean in a way that hit him worse than anything before, Dean still loves him, mourned for him and, ultimately forgave him?

Yes, those two scenes almost weigh up all my Sam annoyance. It was tying up a loose end that needed tying up since the end of season 6. And the first time Dean got some actual, badly needed comfort and closure. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and gave me a boost in my show enjoyment. Seriously, like a re-boot.

Thanks for your ramble, have an enjoyable week!
gaelicspirit
Mar. 29th, 2012 04:18 pm (UTC)
So now I changed my mind and decided it's because he's dead inside.

This is definitely one way to look at it -- and if it makes sense to the Dean-girl in you, I say go with it. :) But I also go another way with the decreased intensity we can see there.

The man is tired.

And I don't mean just physically, though that is true (even if he hadn't been up for 5 days straight), I mean emotionally, mentally, soul-weary tired.

I'm pulling all of this through my filter of life, so take it with a big ol' grain of rocksalt, but it goes back to that chronic disease analogy I rolled out a few rambles back. And again, this is just me, so I don't mean to make any assumptions that you do or don't know any of these experiences.

When you live with someone who has a chronic affliction that affects everyday life -- in my case, the hubs' Crohns disease, in Dean's case, Sam's broken wall -- you honestly can't care all the time. It wears you down so fast. You have to be the strong one, the one who deals with the nightmares and night sweats and pain and clean-up. The one who does all the 'regular' stuff like pays the bills and puts gas in the car (or hustles the money and buys the bullets).

You are there for them 24/7, but no one's there for you. So when they have a crisis, because they do quite often, you shift into this 'autopilot' mode where instead of a flame of intensity you are a slow-burning bed of coals. You never go out; you are a constant, unending source of heat and fire that exists to care for and protect what you need to care for and protect, but you lack the energy to flame up.

It's not always this way, though. There are moments when the spark triggers a reaction, but it doesn't necessarily last.

Add to that years of war, a trip to Hell, the loss of a mentor/father figure, leftover pain from a year w/out a brother and then months with a soulless shell of him, the loss of one chance at a family, the betrayal of a friend...you have one tired Dean.

I honestly would have been surprised to see him able to be intense at this point -- not with all they've piled on him and then not let him deal with or even have a release valve to let go of some of it.

That's just the way I see it, though. ;)

*LOVE* that someone told Dean he was human in a tone that says, "And that's okay."

*LOVE* the trench coat scene.

I'm hope hope hoping that Sam is 'fixed' and we can move on.

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. Always, always a pleasure. :)
iontas
Mar. 25th, 2012 11:27 pm (UTC)
I had to wait until today to watch the episode due to unexpected visitors. I am not sure how I feel about it. I was glad to see Cas back, but I wish I hadn't known. They need to quit it with the scenes for next week giving so much away. I guess I could stop watching them! Last week they showed a scene between Cas and Dean that wasn't in the episode. I found that disturbing. I expected to see it and then it didn't happen. Kind of like a negative spoiler. Weird. I think I will have to see how this all plays out. But leaving Meg alive will be a mistake. I hate that they did that. I enjoyed having your ramble to read today. Thanks!
gaelicspirit
Mar. 29th, 2012 04:21 pm (UTC)
Well, then this reply is only a "little" late! :)

I agree they give too much away in the previews sometimes. That's why I only watch the previews they tack onto the end of the episodes -- and even that sometimes gives too much away!

Last week they showed a scene between Cas and Dean that wasn't in the episode

What was that scene? Now I'm really curious! :)

Thank you for reading and letting me know you enjoyed. That makes me happy! See you soon!
ramblin_rosie
Mar. 26th, 2012 12:07 am (UTC)
Crazy week, exhausting weekend, but I think I'm finally recovered enough to weigh in....

I LOVED the "You're not a machine" line. Finally, *finally*, Dean gets something off his chest--as hard as it must have been to confess his hurt to "Emmanuel" when he couldn't say it directly to Cas--and Cas tells him something he has needed to hear for *years*. It's okay to hurt, to not be able to shrug off betrayal when it's your best friend hurting your only brother. Dean may well have needed to hear "Buck up, bucko" from Bobby and Eliot Ness to be able to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but boy, did he need to hear "You're not a machine."

As for what Cas did at the end... being a spoilerphile, I'd read enough that my subconscious put all the clues together and came up with a dream on Wednesday or Thursday that was almost exactly what we got--Cas not being able to heal Sam completely and so, in desperation, taking the last-ditch measure of taking *something* into himself. My initial thought, which I've seen others share, is that Cas transferred the madness (the symptoms of the trauma), not the memories or the damage to Sam's soul. But I've also seen the theory that what Cas took was Sam's vessel-link to Lucifer, and that makes a degree of sense, too. We'll just have to see how the rest of the season pans out.

Edited at 2012-03-26 12:08 am (UTC)
gaelicspirit
Mar. 29th, 2012 04:26 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you're recovered enough to weigh in, too! It's never quite the same without you. :)

It's okay to hurt, to not be able to shrug off betrayal when it's your best friend hurting your only brother. Dean may well have needed to hear "Buck up, bucko" from Bobby and Eliot Ness to be able to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but boy, did he need to hear "You're not a machine."

YES! Totally agree, and now I have to rub my heart once more thinking of Dean.

My initial thought, which I've seen others share, is that Cas transferred the madness (the symptoms of the trauma), not the memories or the damage to Sam's soul. But I've also seen the theory that what Cas took was Sam's vessel-link to Lucifer, and that makes a degree of sense, too. We'll just have to see how the rest of the season pans out.

Yeah, I can go either way there. I can also go with a "it's fantasy, just go with it, it doesn't have to make sense" angle as well. :) Just so long as Sam's fixed! LOL!

Thank you so much for reading and taking time to comment! See you soon.
(Anonymous)
Mar. 26th, 2012 01:54 am (UTC)
Hi Gaelicspirit,

I love your rambles. They make me feel like I'm talking to a friend about the show (especially when we often share the same sentiment!)

Here are a few of my thoughts...

The image that popped into my head watching Dean hand the trenchcoat to Cas was of a great big dog, pushing his head into your lap and saying "I'm here for you. I'll help you. I'll love you". There was something so loyal and unconditional about the love shown in handing over the trenchcoat. To me, this gesture really put an explanation mark on his whole speech about forgiveness at Rufus' graveside. It became obvious that he really meant what he said there.

I have read comments scoffing at the importance of the trenchcoat, and how unrealistic it would be to carry it around. Except that's exactly what grieving people do!!! When someone we love dies we look for tangible souvenirs of their life. Dean carries Bobby's flask with him. It makes sense he would carry Cas's trenchcoat.

Dean's admissions to Cas in the car showed that Dean's still barely keeping his head above water in the sea of grief, betrayal, guilt and responsibility he’s currently swimming in. He can't make that admission to Sam because he knows Sam can't help deal with it - right now. Sam obviously has his own issues to deal with. But Dean desperately needed to talk to someone. And just like he opened up to Gordon about John's death, he needed to open up to the "stranger" Emmanuel. The need was a real one, in order to maintain his own fragile grip on sanity.

Myself, I've had enough of Lucifer. I'm just starting to find it a one-note characterization -- always taunting, always mocking, always sarcastic. I think I would have found Lucifer more chilling if he'd started to show more empathy, become gentler or almost nurturing to Sam; if he'd become the kind of abuser who beats you to a pulp and then tends your wounds with gentle care, and brings you flowers. That kind of passive/aggressive abuse really REALLY knocks a person (and an audience!) off-balance. I just think, given what a good actor MP is, the writers could have created a slightly more nuanced Lucifer with an even broader range of psychological torture tricks.
I was finding him grating by the end of the episode. But I suspect that was the intention.

I find it intriguing that Cas has now followed the Winchesters down the paved road of good intentions onto the slippery slope of self-sacrifice!

I somehow think the answer to the Leviathans lies somewhere in the tangle of angels & demons, and archangels & Crossroads Demons.

To that end, I still think Dean will have some interaction with Death, and that will have some significance to bringing down the Leviathan. And still ringing in my ears is God/Levi!Cas mentioning Michael to Crowley. I think that Dean's role as Michael's vessel might yet come into play. (That could be wishful thinking, but I mostly believe it.)

As always, thanks for writing and for listening,

Pragmatic Dreamer
gaelicspirit
Mar. 29th, 2012 04:30 pm (UTC)
Hi Dreamer! :)

Thanks so much for reading and taking time to share your thoughts. :) I appreciate your time very much. Love that you feel as if you're talking to a friend about that show. That makes me happy. :)

Except that's exactly what grieving people do!!! When someone we love dies we look for tangible souvenirs of their life. Dean carries Bobby's flask with him. It makes sense he would carry Cas's trenchcoat.

Absolutely. Dean doesn't let go of things. He's a bit of a hoarder in that respect, as far as it depends on people he's lost but can't lose, y'know?

Dean's admissions to Cas in the car showed that Dean's still barely keeping his head above water in the sea of grief, betrayal, guilt and responsibility he’s currently swimming in.

Yes. *rubs heart* And now I hurt for Dean all over again. Thank goodness tomorrow's Friday. How is it possible to love a fictional character this much??

I somehow think the answer to the Leviathans lies somewhere in the tangle of angels & demons, and archangels & Crossroads Demons.

Yeah, I agree with you. It's the best explanation I can come up with for re-activating the demon populace and bringing Meg back.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. :) See you soon!


deangirl1
Mar. 26th, 2012 05:09 am (UTC)
I liked how they brought Cas back, and I think Misha knocked it out of the park. Was it dues ex machina again? Yes. But they’d written themselves completely into a corner – a locked ward actually...

Don’t hold your breath for Dean to ever NOT just keep carrying on. That’s all we will ever get. Which is a shame because it also cheats us out of the performance that Jensen would give...

I got the feeling that even though Sam might have been too tired to realize what he was saying, he said at least 3 things that had to be spears through Dean’s heart. Dean has never gotten over Marshall Hall. Dean feels responsible for Sam’s wall coming down and Dean feels responsible for having started the Apocalypse that forced Sam to Hell in the first place. And still, he just soaks it up and carries on...

Demons/Crowley would be interested in anyone with power of life/death – as a healer would have. If they can heal, maybe they can wound?

FYI – I kind of love it that “he smoked out of there” is totally understandable in our fandom...

Rachel Miner had an accident and severely hurt her back. She’s been on steroids for the pain and that’s why her face is swollen – if you look at her legs when you see them, you’ll see she’s still very slim...

I have a theory about Daphne – not based on anything except the episode. I think she’s an angel sent to watch over Cas until he remembered... possibly Anna in a new body...

Dean’s face when Cas says he doesn’t remember him? Like “of course not, I’m not that important for anyone to think of/remember me....”

Bit of a short comment for me. I think you’ll likely get why, so I saw no need to beat the dead horse further.

Glad you are getting some sleep! Have fun next weekend!!
(Anonymous)
Mar. 26th, 2012 01:04 pm (UTC)
Hi Deangirl,

I agree with you about the comments Sam made to Dean while in the hospital - Marshall Hall, "this is what happens when YOU put a soul in Lucifer's dog bowl". I do think they will pierce his soul some more, and add even more to the guilt he carries.

I was curious as to why it was written that way. It was written in a very accusatory tone - at least to my ears. It kind of seemed like Sam was saying "Everyone warned you what would happen if you put my soul back, but you did it anyway."

I too was curious as to why the show's writers didn't adopt more neutral language -- such as this is what happens when A soul gets thrown into Lucifer's dog bowl. Or, now WE know what happens etc..

Anyway, just wanted to say I saw/heard/felt the same thing.

Thanks,

Pragmatic Dreamer

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