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Stream of Consciousness, Episode 10.19

Oh, these boys. There's a song by Augustana called, "Either Way, I'll Break Your Heart Someday," and I'm pretty sure that is their ballad to us.

But first, a PSA. As you may recall, I started a 2nd role in January. Recently, I was asked to take on a 3rd role and thus work is eating me alive, the end. Seriously, though, it's more or less temporary as I get things aligned for someone else to, hopefully, step in.

Why should you care about that, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

Because of Job Number 3 and Job Number 2, I have to do a bit of traveling in the coming weeks. I'll be in Chicago the week of May 4th and in London the week of May 18th, which means the Rambles for episode 21 and (*gulp*) 23 will be late. I'll have to wait until I can download the epi on my Kindle (usually two days after), so you'll see the Ramble on the weekend, probably. More than likely, I'll also be late replying to your comments -- BUT! I don't want you to NOT comment just because I'll be late. I love to hear from you and as you've seen, others who read the Ramble also read what you have to say.

So, please be patient with me, come back, read, chat, angst, pass tissues, spill the popcorn salt, whatever we must to survive the ending of our beloved Show's 10th season together. Okay, enough of that. Let's Ramble On, shall we?


It intrigues me how episodes are named. When writing my SPN fanfic stories, I often take a page out of Kripke's journal and find a song title or lyric that connects with the story I want to tell (or just sounds cool, e.g., anything by Led Zeppelin). But when I see a title that doesn't immediately strike up a familiar lyrical connection, I have to investigate. It turns out (and apologies to all of you who already knew this) that the "Werther effect" is a real phenomenon. According to wikipedia, the Werther effect "is a term coined by American sociologist Dave Phillips in 1974 to describe the phenomenon that behaviors, whether self-preservative or destructive, are copied between humans by ideas manifested in language (ex: literature, music), in addition to genetics. Named after the protagonist in The Sorrows of Young Werther, this observation is closely associated with “contagious human behaviors”, including multiple personality disorder, pathological homesickness and suicide."

Knowing about Jared's recent loss of a friend to suicide and his T-shirt campaign of #AlwaysKeepFighting, this realization made the episode title -- and likewise, the almost maniaclal naming of Magnus' box -- especially poignant and offered a layer of realism to the supernatural elements of the episode.

So, once more I'm going to do a bit of jumping around. Think little sleep, lots of coffee and you'll be able to hang with me. There were a few ways this story came together that left me feeling a bit 'fooled' -- like the fact that we never saw the yellow smoke spirit go into Sam. The camera cut away from him and followed the smoke up to Suzie and Dean and so we were focused on and worried about them, letting us believe (or maybe just me) that Rowena was actually there and not a twisted element of Sam's subconscious goading him to bleed himself dry.

Looking at it one way, it could be seen as clever how they did that so that we could say, "Ooooh, I did not see that coming!" when Dean didn't so much as glance Rowena's direction and she poofed out when the box was opened. But personally it just left me clicking my tongue against my teeth and shaking my head because, huh. I didn't realize I needed to be worried about Sam until it was almost too late.

It was also curious to me that the yellow smoke spirit thing would have risked the box opening before Sam died by pushing him in that direction, but then I remembered how in the recording from the '60's, Magnus' parting words were that the one MoL who was found dead with his wrists cut was on the right track and the rest of the MoLs were, "...welcome to die trying." So, clearly, the man was evil enough in his own right to not only protect the codex using a suicide-themed spirit spell against the average man, but knew his fellow MoLs would fall for it as well.

The Gaelic was fooled by the Sixth Sense effect moments aside, this episode was truly heartbreaking on so many levels. First, the innocent victims of Magnus' ego. I cannot fathom how Suzie managed to survive after finding (and in two cases at least, watching) her family had committed suicide. Then following that by her Aunt who came to care for her. What nightmares she must have had, what guilt that she didn't/couldn't stop any one of them or that she survived. The end when the "spirits" of her family were crowded around her, blaming her, pushing her to take her own life as the spell was meant to do almost had me in tears on her behalf. That actress was really good. I went from admiring her as a tough lady to feeling her pain so acutely I was rubbing my heart.

I have no direct, personal experience with suicide. The instances where it's touched my life have (thankfully) been slightly removed -- a kid at school, close to my age, but not an aquaintance; the child of an in-law; a beloved actor -- and because of that I've struggled with how I've defined the act itself. When I was young and naive and knew very little of the world and the pain that life can bring (and, admittedly, formed many of my opinions based on my very Conservative, Baptist upbringing) I thought it a cowardly act. A selfish act. Something that a person who was "stronger" or who was thinking about how the people they'd leave behind might feel would never do.

It wasn't until I'd gotten dirt on me from living a bit and surviving some fairly tough situations that I realized what I honestly felt for suicide victims was a deep sadness and sympathy. How low someone has to be to feel death is the right answer...how despondent. I realized, too, that in so many cases those who contemplate suicide are thinking of those people they'd leave behind and feeling this to be the better choice for them. That's why when both brothers were faced with suicide as a viable option -- while I knew they wouldn't die -- it made me tense with anticipation. I'll start with Sam since he was the one to fool me.

I was confused at first that Sam could even see Suzie's "ghost" because I didn't think he'd been spirit smoked, but then hand-waved because he'd been the one to do the spell, so I figured it probably had residual effects. The fact that these images weren't truly spirits but elements from a person's psyche twisted and bent on destruction made the words spoken that much more painful. Sam and his survivor's guilt, man. The fact that he can't prevent deaths of innocents -- and in some cases, inadvertently causes them -- eats at him so much. The mocking tone Suzie used about Sam thinking Dean was the wild card when Sam was the one running around making deals with witches is clearly something that he's having angst about, as is the fact that he is willing to do anything to keep Dean with him when that travesty was the same sin he accused Dean of last year.

Sam's ability to throw himself so fully into his quest -- always, not just this time, but every time -- is more worrisome than Dean's alcoholism and tendency toward violence. We saw Robo-Sam when he thought Dean was dead, dedicating his whole self to the hunt. We saw him do the same thing with the trials, despite the fact that it was killing him. And we're seeing it now with his quest to save Dean from the Mark. He was obviously not thinking clearly, being willing to drain himself dry just to open the box and give Rowena access to the codex -- I mean, he was just trusting that after he had given his life for this book she would follow through and save Dean. That was his justification for his action: I do this and Dean can live. His brotherly sacrifice wasn't even noble in this moment, but he was so blinded by the spell, the words she was using, the idea that he had to save Dean...he jumped in, blindly.

Juxtaposed to Dean, who we saw impacted by the spirit smoke thing. He's caught up in the one place that he's actually felt...peace...in the last who knows how many years. The place he felt a purity, a way to exorcise is personal demons by killing bad guys without consequence (long before he was doing so via demonic permission). Everything that not!Benny was saying to him actually made sense to him on some level. Dean confessed at the start of the episode that the only way to "take the edge off" was to go out and kill some baddie. Happened to be a nest of vamps this time around, but basically, he has to exact violence upon something -- and lucky for us his moral compass is still turned toward his true north -- or the pressure of the Mark becomes unbearable.

The idea that in Purgatory he didn't have to go looking for a fight, he just had to stand in one place long enough and it came to him, was not only enticing but felt like salvation. He said he was tired of fighting and there was "no honor" in suicide, but at the same time the Mark is wearing on him, haunting him, pushing him and he sees no possibility of escape. Not!Benny pointing out that his Plan B to have Cas and Sam kill him when the Mark takes over (which...how, exactly??) burdening two of the people he cares most about in the world with the weight of having had to take his life and, essentially, destroying them was a pretty good catalyst for Dean to throw "honor" out the window. That and the dangling carrot of, "You won't ever hurt anyone ever again." I mean, GUH. What a way to hit him where he lives.

I love, love, love that Dean didn't even give the Mark a chance to stop him from dying. I love the way his "thanks, pal, but no thanks" answer was simply just...him. He doesn't know how to not fight. He's going to go down swinging. It's interesting to me because for so long, I wondered on some level if Dean really was suicidal. The way he willingly stayed with Sam in Croatoa, the way he throws himself into each and every fight as if it's his last, the way he drinks, the way he's fatalistic about loving anyone (platonically or otherwise) outside of his brother, the way he's so certain that the world is going to end bloody.... It all just felt very "death wish" to me.

But as it turns out, Sam was the one to (almost) fall victim to the Werther effect, listening to the smoke spirit thing's words, believing them, trusting them somehow. And Dean was able to fight back, claw his way out, resist. Personally, I don't think it has anything to do with the Mark. I think it's the epitome of their personalities: Sam's instinct is to sacrifice, Dean's is to fight. Their partnership and brotherhood is their only chance of surviving. As Dean said, "The Universe is trying to tell us something we both should already know: we are stronger together than apart."

Overall, I was kind of relieved to not have any Metatron, Cas, Crowley, and very little (necessary, as it turns out) Rowena. The episodes that focus on the brothers are the best ones. But I have to say, Sam's hole is getting so deep his voice is starting to echo. I was pleased when Dean just dropped into the passenger seat of Sam's stolen/borrowed car with a Hiya, Sammy and a knowing grin because I had literally just been asking myself, how the heck is Sam getting away with being gone so much. He didn't think his frequent disappearances would go unnoticed by his nightmare-riddled, sleep-lacking, hyper-vigilant older brother?!? Dean already mentioned that he couldn't "always wait" on Sam to go on a hunt, so clearly he knew something was afoot.

Dean thinking that what Sam was doing was a tit for tat, you go rogue I'll go rogue, see how it feels lesson is logical, but it also means that when the truth comes out it's going to hurt him so much more. I am hoping that when he finds out that Sam didn't burn the book after Dean begged him to, colluded with Rowena, and helped Cas break Metatron out of Heaven Jail he'll realize that it was all done to save him, much like his own actions with Gadreel to save Sam, and he'll accept it and forgive Sam. I hope, because otherwise, can you say endless cycle? But I think that even if he does acknowledge that, the fact that Dean's been so honest all this time with Sam and then finds out that Sam has been lying to him is going to crush him. And if he still has the Mark...I don't know how he'll react.

Last comment before I go to the lists...I don't know how I feel about Sam agreeing to kill Crowley. I know it makes complete sense -- I mean, Sam didn't spend time palling around with Crowley and he has always been in the "kill Crowley" camp, only agreeing to not kill him because the demon became useful. And if it were Season 8, I would have been like, yes! it's about time! when he agreed with no qualms. But...oddly enough? I feel like killing Crowley wouldn't be ridding the world of a bad guy as much as it would be opening a space for a worse guy. With Crowley in charge of Hell, demonkind is relatively harmless. Because of his affection for the Winchesters (well, for Dean and Sam as a by-product) the boys have had shockingly little to deal with from demon involvement. It's been mostly your average MotW and the angels wreaking havoc.

My appreciation for the wit and banter that Mark Sheppard's portrayal of Crowley aside, I think killing Crowley in general will ultimately cause more harm than good. What do you guys think?

LIKES:


  • Dean, blood-smeared and weary, grinning as he finds a beer in the fridge after cleaning out the vamp nest.

  • Sam's exasperation that Dean didn't wait for him before taking out six vamps by himself. Love that arms out from the sides, eyebrows up to hairline move of his.

  • "Stop looking at me like I'm some sort of diseased killer puppy." What a visual...and a totally accurate description.

  • "I want to get my buzz on and pass out watching Speed 2: Cruise Control." Oh, Dean. The first Speed was so much better.

  • Seeing the old MoLs while Sam listened to the recording, including the evil snarkiness of "Cuthbert Sinclair" or Magnus

  • Magnus having none of the MoL's smug sh*t (even though he's also an evil bastard). "Let me tell you what you can do with your leniency, Malcom."

  • Rowena sleeping all sprawled out, arms above the head, and her "bit early isn't it" comment when she finally finds her phone.

  • "You've got three choices: get arrested, get your bits blown off, or get bent." Loved strong, sassy Suzie (before the spell destroys her completely).

  • Dean dropping into the passenger seat with that look on his face -- that look that erases 10 years and says I totally know you, little brother -- saying, "How's the case?"

  • Dean showing his detective skills by doing the rubbing on the notepad and googling the St. Louis Suicide House.

  • Sam's frantic mental tapdance as he figures out how to explain what he's doing there -- and telling Dean something that is almost the truth.

  • "If you say this is a case, I'm in. If you'll have me."

  • Everything about Dean getting access to Suzie's house -- from that little gasp as Suzie points the gun at him to the squeak around the word 'time' as he slips through the doorway. That? Was awesome.

  • Sam being described as a "tall, white fellow with pretty hair."

  • Suzie's gun being named 'Gus.'

  • Dean running interference for Sam, then switching to showing genuine concern for Suzie.

  • The way Dean says 'Sammy'. I will always love that.

  • Sam's genuine startle when Suzie's "ghost" was suddenly blocking his path.

  • The way Dean is just...not there when Sam finds him. That would be hard to do as an actor, I think.

  • Benny. Even though he was not!Benny, still...Benny. I really liked that character and his connection to Dean.

  • "Need and want are two different things, ain't they?"

  • "What happens in Purgatory stays in Purgatory." Ain't that the truth...Sam still knows only a fraction of what Dean went through there.

  • "I'd do it, if I really had to. I would. But the real Benny would never let me."

  • Dean killing not!Benny to break free of his Purgatory -- having the strength to do that. Again.

  • Dean saving Sam. I mean, really. That will never not be awesome.

  • Dean using his blood to open the door, trusting Sam that they had to get what was inside and protect it.

  • Sam (pale, weak and shaky) looking guilty when Dean apologizes to him for going rogue.

  • "The universe is trying to tell us something we both should already know: we are stronger together than apart."

  • Sam tricking Rowena into shackles.

  • "We had an agreement, giant!"

  • "You want out? Hurry up."

NOT SO MUCH:

  • Sam being so desperate to save Dean that he's not seeing how specifically desperate Rowena is to get her hands on that codex or thinking (at least as far as we can see) that she has an ulterior motive for getting the book is leaving a bad taste of history repeating itself in my mouth.

  • The MoLs being so self-righteous and smug in their ways of doing things, they ended up turning Magnus away and he managed to collect all sorts of magical/supernatural tchotchkes. He was much easier to control when he was one of them.

  • There's a knot in my stomach labeled "Winchester lies" and this time it's filled with Sam's lies to Dean.

  • Sam somehow knowing exactly where the basement door was located in the house and that the box/codex would be located in the basement. I know he'd discovered that it was 'buried' there but that could have meant any number of things -- it's MO, there could have been a storm cellar out back, or it could have been actually buried. His thinking basement and heading right for it was a bit of a hand-wave for me.

  • Not seeing the yellow smoke stuff seep into Sam's eyes.

  • Tying Dean up to what was apparently the ricketiest chair in the whole house. Tying him up on the ground, hands behind his back, would have been loads safer.

BURNING QUESTIONS:

Just your basic ahh! what are they going to do to us and with all these story lines questions we all have when there are only four episodes left in the season:

  • What of mortal Metatron and the Demon tablet?

  • Will Cas be an asset in the Metatron fight or the Mark fight now that he's got his Grace back? That has to  make more of a difference than just him not dying.

  • Will Rowena be able to translate the book?

  • What price will the spell to remove the curse of the Mark exact?

  • Will Sam kill Crowley and if so what will that do to the balance of things?

  • Will Dean be saved and will it be at the expense of someone else -- Cas, Sam?

  • What will Dean do/how will he react when he finds out the truth?

  • Exactly how crushed will our hearts be in the finale? Are talking boot prints or total annihilation?

Thanks, as always, for reading. I'll do my best to keep up with comments with the exception of the dates mentioned above. Looking forward to your thoughts!

Slainte!

Comments

( 41 Tall Tales — Tell Me A Story )
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tifaching
Apr. 23rd, 2015 07:41 pm (UTC)
Awesome ramble and you were definitely not the only one fooled by the Rowena hallucination.

My burning question. What possessed Susie to knock down the basement wall in the first place? I feel like I missed something.
gaelicspirit
Apr. 23rd, 2015 07:50 pm (UTC)
GOOD question!! At first when she picked up the sledge hammer, I thought she was going to go up and smash her brother's record player out of spite. But then I guess she just decided to be destructive because she was a teenager not getting her way and was frustrated. And, apparently, there were already plans to take out that wall b/c there was a drawn-in "X" right where she hit.

Who knows...I apparently hand-waved that, too! LOL!
hunenka
Apr. 23rd, 2015 08:38 pm (UTC)
That's a lot of likes you've got listed there. And I agree with all of them. I've said this before, but I love it when SPN gets me all excited and thinky, and last episode did just that. Robert Berens has now officially become my favorite writer on the current SPN writing team.

Self-sacrificing, mission-oriented Sam, badass, strong Dean, not!Benny... That was all great. But I have to squee a bit more about scene 'Dean getting access to Suzie's house' scene - I feel like I could watch that one over and over. What is he doing? How is he so damn cute?!

On a more serious note, I'm getting really scared about where this season is heading. The lies from Sam just keep piling up, Metatron's on the loose with the demon tablet, Rowena has two extremely dangerous books in her hands... It's gonna be one hell of a ride, I'm sure.

Anyway, as always, thank you for your ramble!
gaelicspirit
Apr. 23rd, 2015 08:59 pm (UTC)
But I have to squee a bit more about scene 'Dean getting access to Suzie's house' scene - I feel like I could watch that one over and over. What is he doing? How is he so damn cute?!

OMG, that was fabulous. Just...his gasp, the way he claimed to be "Dwight" from the neighborhood watch, to that nervous tremble in his voice as he slipped past the gun, just. *adores*

Give him all the cookies.
(no subject) - hunenka - Apr. 23rd, 2015 09:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gaelicspirit - Apr. 23rd, 2015 09:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
qultng1
Apr. 23rd, 2015 09:09 pm (UTC)
I was right there with you this week. I thought Rowena was really there, too, especially when she grabbed some of the burned stuff and blew it on the "lock" and got the words to appear. Hook, line and sinker ingested here.

I love Jensen's acting...have since the show started and believe he will be my favorite for all time. Him standing there in a 'coma' when Sam is trying to bring him back to reality was shear awesomesauce.

For me, that actress that played Suzie was one of the real highlights. Her speech about keeping the whole thing safe for 40 years and then dying the day the Winchesters showed up kind of punched me in the gut. I'm sure it was supposed to.

Having Rowena chained up sort of cramped my brain a little as I didn't notice anything that would keep her from 'witching' herself free. There might have been something that I just missed, tho. And what's to keep her from gleaning all the info from that key that she would need? But, then, her real goal is that other book, right?

Secrets and Lies...NEVER a good combination with our boys. (tiny spoiler) I understand that Jared has posted the finale this year will be on the same level as Swan Song. Oy!

They're definitely marching toward something huge here.
gaelicspirit
Apr. 23rd, 2015 09:46 pm (UTC)
For me, that actress that played Suzie was one of the real highlights. Her speech about keeping the whole thing safe for 40 years and then dying the day the Winchesters showed up kind of punched me in the gut. I'm sure it was supposed to.

I totally agree.

Emotional impact of Swan Song, I can handle because that means it will be good. But if we end with Sam dead (or worse) and Dean having to find a way to carry on, I will be disappointed on multiple levels. There has to be a way to elicit emotion that doesn't involve one brother dying (for the other or the world) and the other brother left bereft and (once again) seeking ways to bring him back.

Just...enough circles, y'know?
thruterryseyes
Apr. 23rd, 2015 09:25 pm (UTC)
frankly I thought this was an okay ep. I hate Rowena's dramatics and the actress that plays her so much I can't get past it. I normally like accents but hers makes me feel like i have something sticky pouring in my ear and I just want it out. I did like Sam's response to her crap. Yeah, fine. I'll kill Crowley. And I liked how he dealt with her at the end. I had a problem with Dean almost all the way thru. I just didn't feel like he was THERE. Too cheery, to apologetic, to everything. If I was a dog I would have barked at him thru the whole show. When he was in purgatory was the only time I believed him.
gaelicspirit
Apr. 23rd, 2015 09:51 pm (UTC)
When he was in purgatory was the only time I believed him.

It's funny that you say that because it was that very reason I felt his performance was so great. The "regular" (as in not-in-Purgatory) Dean is starting to sound 'forced'...putting forth so much effort to be normal that it's like Dean 2.0. He's a kick-ass hunter who can take out 6 vamps on his own and he's the caring brother who apologizes for how his behavior might affect his sibling and he's the devil-may-care drinker who kicks back with a bad movie after a long day of work and he's the 'nothing to see here folks' performer when he needs to get a job done...it's just all a show.

Inside, he's desperate and hurting and wanting to kill and maim and do so without consequence, like when he was in Purgatory.

I saw it as Dean fighting the Mark with everything he had in him until the concept of not having to fight was waved in front of him.

I agree that I liked how Sam dealt with Rowena, but I am not liking why he's dealing with her. This whoooooole plan of his can only end in tears. Probably mine.

(PS - see you tomorrow!!!!)

Edited at 2015-04-23 09:52 pm (UTC)
borgmama1of5
Apr. 23rd, 2015 10:45 pm (UTC)
This.

Sam's instinct is to sacrifice, Dean's is to fight.

What more needs to be said about who they are?

I felt Dean resisted the pull of suicide in part because of his own stubbornness at giving himself the 'easy' out, not only because the Mark wanted him alive.

Oh, Sam...this is going to end so badly...

As someone else pointed out, Crowley at least is a demon of his word if he gives it. Rowena (and Metatron) have no concept other than winning by stomping everyone else down. Sam is too honorable to deal at her level...right?

Grasping-at-straws hope for being able to survive watching the finale:

Odd seasons end tragically with the brothers separated--not counting 1 because everyone was unconscious--3--Dean in Hell; 5--Sam in the Cage; 7--Dean in Purgatory; 9--Dean dead/demon.

Even seasons end tragically but at least they are together--2 where they are going to go 'save people, hunt things' and stop Dean's deal; 4--together as Lucifer arises; 6--together as Cas declares himself God; 8--together as the angels fall.

This is an even year...maybe at least they'll be together?

I'm probably a fool to even hope for that much...
gaelicspirit
Apr. 29th, 2015 09:11 pm (UTC)
Odd seasons end tragically with the brothers separated--not counting 1 because everyone was unconscious--3--Dean in Hell; 5--Sam in the Cage; 7--Dean in Purgatory; 9--Dean dead/demon.

Even seasons end tragically but at least they are together--2 where they are going to go 'save people, hunt things' and stop Dean's deal; 4--together as Lucifer arises; 6--together as Cas declares himself God; 8--together as the angels fall.


I'm liking this pattern. I said to my friend Terry that I didn't even care if they killed both brothers (because, let's face it...in SPN neither Winchester dies permanently) and make the first part of S11 all about escaping Purgatory or being rescued from Hell or even breaking out of Heaven or something...just DO NOT end it with one brother dead and the other left behind again.

*crosses arms and frowns*

I guess we'll have to see together. ;)
iontas
Apr. 24th, 2015 01:22 am (UTC)
Great Ramble! Funny though, when you started talking about contagious human behaviors, they first thing that came to my mind was the pattern that Sam is repeating what Dean did last year. I hope by the comment that Dean made to Sam at the end of this episode that we will not see a simple repeat of the pattern. Either Sam will break it, or Dean will by forgiving Sam. At least I hope so!
gaelicspirit
Apr. 29th, 2015 09:51 pm (UTC)
I hope by the comment that Dean made to Sam at the end of this episode that we will not see a simple repeat of the pattern.

Me too, sister. Me too.
strgazr04
Apr. 24th, 2015 03:43 am (UTC)
"Stop looking at me like I'm some sort of diseased killer puppy." - Did this make anyone else think of the episode Metamorphosis when the brothers are fighting on the side of the road and Sam says something about Dean constantly looking at him like a freak due to his demon blood? Gotta love role reversals!

"Everything about Dean getting access to Suzie's house -- from that little gasp as Suzie points the gun at him to the squeak around the word 'time' as he slips through the doorway. That? Was awesome." - Part of me really wonders if that was scripted or if that was just Ackles because it seems like something Jensen would totally adlib. He might be more known for his Single Man Tear, but he is such a comedic genius too.


"The universe is trying to tell us something we both should already know: we are stronger together than apart." - Really, guys. You think you'll be able to remember it this time? I mean, you've only learned this lesson about a million times over the last decade! *shakes the boys*

side note - Can someone tell me how Metatron got the demon tablet to begin with? Am I remembering right that Gadreel gave it to him after killing Kevin?
gaelicspirit
Apr. 29th, 2015 09:54 pm (UTC)
Part of me really wonders if that was scripted or if that was just Ackles because it seems like something Jensen would totally adlib

Ha! I wondered that myself. I hope we see in the DVD bloopers/commentary.

Really, guys. You think you'll be able to remember it this time? I mean, you've only learned this lesson about a million times over the last decade!

Ha! Right??

As for how he got the demon tablet...I honestly can't remember. I think it did have something to do with Gadreel, but I would have to actually go back and look and...I know I won't do that. LOL! If you get the answer, will you let me know?
jackien1968
Apr. 24th, 2015 10:55 am (UTC)
I think what led Sam to the basement was the fact that there was a massive padlock on its door. Being geniuses and the two scariest hunters on the planet, our boys would zero in on telling details like that in a heartbeat.

Love love love your rambles whenever they turn up.

Jackie
gaelicspirit
Apr. 29th, 2015 09:55 pm (UTC)
Okay, I'll give you that they're genius hunters and that he MIGHT have dug a bit further in his research where we didn't see and discovered Magnus or the MoLs saying that it was in the basement. But. It still feels a bit hand-wavy to me that he'd enter a house he's never been in before and, essentially, make a bee-line to the basement door, padlock or no padlock.

But I'll forgive him. ;)

Thank you for reading and commenting. :)
(no subject) - jackien1968 - Apr. 30th, 2015 09:35 am (UTC) - Expand
cappy712
Apr. 24th, 2015 02:25 pm (UTC)
That was a great review!!!!!

I am totally in agreement with it all!!!!!

The likes, dislikes and the questions are spot on - things that I've been thinking myself.

I was so glad to see Sam put the cuffs on Rowena - I have to say I didn't think of her as being a figment of his imagination due to the fact that she said the spell to stop the torment he was going through. But then again, I will have to rewatch it again....

Thank you for sharing.
gaelicspirit
Apr. 29th, 2015 09:56 pm (UTC)
Yeah, she had me fooled right up until she 'poofed' out. Further proof is her reaction when she discovers he has the book. She had no idea he'd actually gotten it because she wasn't there.

Thank YOU for reading. :)
tma_antran01
Apr. 24th, 2015 02:50 pm (UTC)
Like
like
gaelicspirit
Apr. 29th, 2015 09:57 pm (UTC)
Re: Like
*thumbs up*
jennygeee
Apr. 24th, 2015 06:34 pm (UTC)
Dean dropping into the passenger seat with that look on his face -- that look that erases 10 years and says I totally know you, little brother -- saying, "How's the case?" Doesn’t it just! His face transforms to S1 Dean – just shows what a good actor Jensen is.

”My appreciation for the wit and banter that Mark Sheppard's portrayal of Crowley aside, I think killing Crowley in general will ultimately cause more harm than good. What do you guys think?” When Rowena said she wanted Sam to kill Crowley I was like “No!! You can’t do that Sam!!” I have grown fond of the King of Hell :D But you are right, I think it would definitely leave the way clear for more evil to follow in his wake

”Everything about Dean getting access to Suzie's house -- from that little gasp as Suzie points the gun at him to the squeak around the word 'time' as he slips through the doorway. That? Was awesome.” I LOVED the way Jensen did that! Again I say, Jensen is an amazing actor, all the little bits he brings to the character, all the adlibs, all the little nuances – at this stage I’d say Jensen is Dean!

”The way Dean is just...not there when Sam finds him. That would be hard to do as an actor, I think.” Again, Jensen is amazing and didn’t that again take years off Dean. I think in this episode and the last episode Dean has had a S1 look about him and I’m trying to think why that is, has he realised that the MOC is not going away and he has to accept it and try to fight the effects of it by going on these killing hunts, are these killing hunts relieving the effects of the MOC therefore making him feel better, whatever it is he looks damn good!!

”Benny. Even though he was not!Benny, still...Benny. I really liked that character and his connection to Dean.” I also love Benny, I would have liked for him to have been in more episodes than he was, Dean needs another friend. I miss Dean’s time with Cas, it seems that with Cas trying to find his Grace and a cure for the MOC and Sam trying to find a cure for the MOC that Cas and Dean no longer spend any time together and I miss that, although I do enjoy Sam and Cas’ time together I don’t think there’s quite the same chemistry between them



Thanks again Gaelic.
gaelicspirit
Apr. 29th, 2015 09:58 pm (UTC)
I, too, would love for them to have Benny back more. I liked their dynamic -- almost more than Dean's friendship with Cas b/c Cas is there for both the boys and Benny was Dean's friend alone. But that's just me. :)

Thank you for reading and taking time to comment!
ferrous_wheeler
Apr. 25th, 2015 02:44 am (UTC)
Fabulous review, as always! Loved so much Dean's little squeak and his covering his 'bits' when he went to the door lol! And I also really have to question Sam leaving Rowena with the two books and thinking that a set of mere manacles will stop her from witching something up. Plus, I'm rather doubtful that she'll even give Sam the correct translation. Gotta say, Crowley certainly has gotten soft and Rowena would be one hell of a Queen of Hell ;p
gaelicspirit
Apr. 29th, 2015 09:59 pm (UTC)
Covering his 'bits' -- that part was genius.

I have to think the manacles are sigiled or something to keep her there. I agree: regular old cuffs won't hold her for long.

Guess we'll find out soon! :)
metanewsmods
Apr. 25th, 2015 09:54 pm (UTC)
May we link this on ? We also post on DreamWidth and Tumblr.
gaelicspirit
Apr. 25th, 2015 09:56 pm (UTC)
Yes, thank you for asking.
metallidean_grl
Apr. 27th, 2015 01:13 am (UTC)
I have come across people who have thought the same thing about people who have committed suicide. My own father even said something to me once about how he also thought it was a cowardly way out. This came at a time when I was deep in a depression and had thought about suicide several times myself. For someone who contemplates it or actually goes through with it, it is basically a way to end the pain and anguish. For me, the emotional pain and feelings of self-loathing and that no one loves me or would even care if I were gone were so great, suicide actually seemed like a way to make not only my own pain go away, but also solve the problem of getting out of the lives of those close to you that you think and/or feel don't really care if you are gone or not. So, you don't really think that it would be a big deal for those left behind.

I also think Sam's tunnel focus is more troubling than Dean's excessive drinking and looking for fights. He is acting like a depressed person, so oblivious to what he is actually doing. He is really worrying me that he will go over the line to save his brother. He has this desperation about him, like he did in S3, that is very unhealthy. Dean has desperation as well, but he approaches things so differently. These boys really do need each other to balance the other out, to keep each other from crossing the line. The secrets Sam is keeping from Dean are troublesome. Moreso than any of Dean's secrets. I was glad that Sam finally admitted last week that he can't live without his brother. That he needs to have his brother with him, be side by side with him, hunting. That is also where he is happy. If only Dean could have heard him say that. Sam has been so shielded and protected by his brother, he doesn't really know what to do with himself when Dean is not there. Dean is Sam's rock, his true north, his anchor, and without him there, he is truly lost. I know a little bit about that as my father was those things for me, and in many ways, I find myself a little lost and adrift without him here. Trying to find that base without that person is hard to do, and I wish to God I didn't have to find it, so, I hope for Sam that he never has to figure it out for himself.

The whole Dean/Purgatory scene was perfect. The way Dean talked to himself and was able to figure out that Plan B was really not the way to go, was not the way he wanted to go, and that he did have people still out there that loved him and cared for him, which is one idea that people who think about suicide believe is the opposite. His talk with Benny was perfect, and hit so close to him, he had me shaking. Jensen and Ty were so pitch perfect.

I don't trust Rowena, and Sam teaming up with her horrifies me. At least he chained her up and marked up the building with sigils. I am thinking that the chains and sigils will disallow her doing any magic. At least, that is what I hope that all means.

I loved Dean's vamp killing. He was so cute. And then plopping in the front seat next to Sam for this hunt. I love it how he "caught" Sam. Dean looked so cute. But the fact that Sam let Dean in on this hunt, but the thought that Dean didn't even really know the true meaning of the hunt they were on. That was not good.
shazza85
Apr. 27th, 2015 04:04 am (UTC)
L
I'm so sorry you have had such low spots in your life. Our family too has had member truly desperate at times. Luckily they did reach out to remind themselves how much they would be loved and missed, how irreplaceable they are. I hope your days are brighter now.
Re: L - metallidean_grl - Apr. 27th, 2015 04:21 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gaelicspirit - Apr. 29th, 2015 10:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - metallidean_grl - Apr. 29th, 2015 10:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
supernutjapan
Apr. 27th, 2015 04:14 am (UTC)
HEY! I really really love this ep!!!


First of all your little talk on suicide and how it relates to the Winchesters because OMG I just realized that Benny's "You will never hurt anyone ever again" is what Sam wanted Death to promise him in his dream in Season 9. So it is obviously something that is paining both of the brothers.

Not knowing that Sam had been affected was what made it awesome for me. If we'd known, it would have been totally boring. When Suzie's apparition appeared I was sure it was her ghost, because I didn't realize Sam was affected. And up until Dean came up and Abbadon threw up her hands, I didn't know it wasn't her. I thought she just wanted Sam to die. I really did. The way she hugged his arm was really creepy. But getting it at the end when she disappeared was just awesome. We saw it from Sam's point of view really. He saw Suzie affected. He saw Dean get affected. But he didn't realize that he himself was affected until Dean came up and told him that it was all fake. AWESOME!!! (I can't think of any other word... sorry!)

how in the recording from the '60's, Magnus' parting words were that the one MoL who was found dead with his wrists cut was on the right track and the rest of the MoLs were, "...welcome to die trying."
Man, I never actually went back to that scene to think about it. "welcome to die trying!" HEHE!! Love that!

I think that the Mark did have an effect on Dean. I think Dean felt it and that is why he said the Mark would not let him kill himself. Maybe a clarity that he wouldn't have had if he didn't have the Mark. He knew from the beginning that he was hallucinating, that it wasn't really Benny and the real Benny would never tell him to kill himself. I think if the spell had affected him completely, he would not have been able to resist because he does - as you said - have a death wish. But that is just my opinion.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that Dean saved Sam though and stopped him from killing himself for Dean. It reminds me a lot of Sacrifice. I just LOVED the way he cupped Sam's cheeks there *sighs*

I think Dean suspects Sam of something already and he is trying to convince Sam to tell him with his remarks. I even suspect he went off on his own to kill the vamps because he wanted to make a point to Sam. He apologized to Sam TWO TIMES. Once when he popped into the car to surprise Sam, and again at the end. That's a bit of overkill don't you think? Then that statement about the Universe? Totally trying to make Sam feel so bad that he'd spill the beans :P

Can't wait for this week's ep!


Edited at 2015-04-27 04:15 am (UTC)
gaelicspirit
Apr. 29th, 2015 10:04 pm (UTC)
You make good points about the fact that not knowing Sam had been affected made it less predictable than it could have been. I hadn't thought about it that way.

I still think, though, that Dean stopped himself from suicide because of his own will and stubbornness and not the Mark, though. I mean, I think if he HAD tried to kill himself, the Mark wouldn't have allowed it, but I think he consciously chose not to do it, unaided by the Mark. I think.

I hope he does suspect that Sam is up to something more than just "teaching him a lesson" for going off on his own. Maybe he even knows on some level what Sam is doing and isn't saying anything just to see how it'll play out. Maybe. Guess we'll find out soon enough! :)
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