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Stream of Consciousness, Epi 11.17

I think this episode should have been called "The Winchester's No Good, Terrible, Very Bad Day." Because, wow. It so was. On so many levels.

So, because life, I rarely get to watch our Show live or even on the night it airs and sometimes I stumble across a spoiler or two on Twitter as I'm predictably sucked into the Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr Bermuda Triangle while trying to be productive during the subsequent work day. That happened this time and I saw several comments regarding "Red Meat" pondering the point of this episode. And not in a meta, philosophical, let us discuss together way.

However, I think they made three very good points with this episode, and a couple of sidebars, if you want my opinion. And, well, you're reading my Ramble, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say you do.

Very Good Point #1: Billie wasn't messing around, ya'll. This time, dead means dead. They go into the Nothing (er, um, sorry...The Empty. Whatever, writers.) That thrills me to no end, you guys. Because finally death has dominion. That desperate fight for life is legitimate. No deals, no loopholes, no angels pulling them from perdition. Dead. End. Kaput. Finito. This is important because....

Very Good Point #2: Dean does not value his life. I don't think it's fair to say that he has a death wish -- I don't think he wishes to die. I just think that he's okay if he does--provided Sam is alive, safe, sound, intact, all of that. If Sam's okay and Dean dies, Dean's good with that because he does not see that his life in and of itself holds value. I'm sure there are quite a few clinical diagnosis that could apply to Dean; I'm not a doctor (I don't even play one on TV), so I'm not going to delve into labeling him as any particular thing.

But the fact of the matter is, Dean hasn't felt that he matters for a long, long time. Remember back when he sold his soul at the crossroads in exchange for Sam's life, and Bobby about throttled him when he found out? Dean told Bobby at that time, "At least this way, my life can mean something." If Sam and died back in Cold Oak, and Dean had lived, and no deal had been made, Dean would never have felt his life was worth a single thing and in all likelihood would have been dead within the year anyway through simply...not caring about what happened to him.

Over the last ten years we have seen countless examples of Dean's only feelings of self-worth coming through what he can do for others, to save others, to protect others, and ultimately to keep Sam safe and alive. He is willing to literally do anything to save Sam. He's died to bring him back--three times now (Hellhounds, bargaining with Death/working with Tara, and this little meet cute with Billie). But the only times he's ever truly been at peace with himself was when he was fighting his way through Purgatory or when he was a demon and the care was simply burned out of him. Dean--our Dean, the Dean we love--is both a savvy, capable, tough-as-nails hunter and fierce protector, and also a broken, tortured soul who has been told time and time again by everyone from his brother to an angel of the Lord that he has value and worth and matters and yet...he doesn't believe them.

And some part of me really gets that. You can believe that they believe it. You can trust that they think it's true. But until you buy into it yourself, it's all just words. Nice, comforting, appreciated words, but...just words. And Dean is surrounded by words that have thus far slipped off the Teflon of his heart. Not for lack of attempts, but for lack of acceptance.

The thing that might change this outlook--that might topple Dean from the take me for him mindset--is Billie's stalwart declaration that she is Reaping him when the time comes and taking him to the Empty and she means it. Dean might not be too eager to head to that fate and be willing to fight for himself, not just for others. Not just for Sam. Because, as we have seen....

Very Good Point #3: Sam Winchester is a tough S.o.B. I mean, he never was a wilting flower. Let's face it, these boys have been through the wringer and then some, but so often it's depicted that Sam is the "brains" and Dean the "brawn." Dean is the self-described "blunt instrument." Ready to shoot first, ask questions later, and kill every last son of a bitch who dares to lay a hand on his brother. But man, never let it be said that Sam isn't equally as fierce. Equally as tough. And equally as capable. I think that for the sake of the storyline, this is critical because of Dean's "greater good" argument to Billie--Sam is the only one (only human anyway) who can stop Amara.

Dean didn't go into it with Billie because, well, reasons, but he'd given the mantel of responsibility for Amara's take-down over to Sam not because he thought Sam was strong enough, but because Dean knew he wasn't. Except now...well, now I think we all know that Sam is strong enough. And not just strong enough of soul and will to sacrfice himself to save the world, strong enough physically to power through and save his brother. I think that was important for us to see. We can be told time and again, but seeing it--seeing him bleeding and gray and weak and gasping for breath but still managing to save his brother from being strangled by a werewolf--was the proof we needed to believe it was possible.

Couple of Sidebars:

This is the second hunt in a row that Sam has insisted they take that has ended up...well, not all that great for them. I get his point that they don't have any leads and Dean sitting around with no leads is a Very Bad Thing because Dean gets...down. No, not just "down"...he gets practically despondent. Hopeless. As if all the light in his world has been sucked out and put in a lead-lined box and the only thing left to do is drink until there is something to kill. His despair over not finding Cas or a way to save him has become palpable and so, yeah, I get that Sam is like, dude, this is our job...when you don't know what to do, you hunt...and there's always going to be something to hunt.

But. Both times ended up with them battered and bruised and with Dean near death, so...I say Sam's not allowed to make plans for a while.

Still, it was cute to see him trying so desperately to cheer his brother up, reminding him that they had wanted to take some time off and go camping. Sam needs to stay busy, too. Needs to be reminded that they can actually do some good in the world. That they have purpose beyond pouring over old books for some kind of random clue as to how to clean up this mess they got themselves into. I honestly think that's part of what drove him to keep going when he was so weak and wounded. He had been the one who insisted on this hunt and when he woke up, bleeding and alone, and knew his brother was out there with a soon-to-be werewolf, he knew that no matter what, he had to fix this.

Just as Dean felt that he had to fix the sudden imbalance to his world with Sam dead (or so he thought). I think what hit me hardest about Sam's apparent demise was that Dean hadn't been there, next to him. Every other time one of them has died (which in and of itself is a weird collection of words) they'd been together. They'd held onto each other through the pain and the fall and the emptiness afterwards. And to have Dean not be there and come in and find Sam just...gone. I felt that shock slip over Dean's face. I felt the denial and the resistance and the numb impossibility that the world was still moving forward--that there were still people to save, still a job to do--and Sam wasn't in it. Wasn't a part of it.

The way Dean's eyes filled with tears that hung suspended until he vowed to come back for Sam just...gah. My heart literally twisted. Prior to that when he was getting the bullet out of Sam and doing his "everything is totally okay, this is just a flesh wound, you're gonna be okay because I won't let anything else be true" routine, I felt his internal panic. His "I didn't want to go on this damn hunt in the first place and now look" frustration. And then later when he was gathering wood to make a litter for Sam he was really struggling to keep it together. He was scared and frustrated and desperate and lashing out at trees.

Funny thing...I get that, too. Lashing out at inanimate objects when the world is just not working. We are putting our house on the market soon and fixing things that need fixing...like the hole in the storage room door where I put my heel through it (accidentally) after a particularly trying time dealing with both my mother and my stubborn, precocious, two-year-old, once upon a time. Yeah. So, it happens.

Anyway, by the time he stared down at Sam's body, his heart breaking in front of us, I was already neck-deep in Dean angst. And while the cop tazing him seemed a bit extreme, I also didn't mind one bit the fact that the doc recognized he had broken ribs and a nasty concussion. That werewolf fight was vicious and these guys walk away from fights like that all the time with barely a limp. While it lasted, it was refreshing to see Dean curled over in the pain of broken ribs because...well, that's real.

The thing I had a really hard time watching, though, was Dean OD'ing on whatever those barbital pills were he swallowed. Even though I knew he wouldn't die die--I mean, they did just green light Season 12, and it is Supernatural--it was not easy to see him seize and foam at the mouth like that. It was a lot easier when he died back in Season...what was it? 8? When he fetched Death to get Sam's soul back? This was rather visceral and I could see it actually being a bit triggering for some people--especially with all of the Always Keep Fighting and You're Not Alone campaigning these guys do.

It's an important lesson in separating the show from real life.

Last sidebar before I get to my lists...Dean not telling Sam the truth about what he went through when he thought Sam was dead. I saw a lot of comments about that, too. Not great comments, either. And to be honest, 70% of me agrees with the sigh-eye-roll-here-we-go-again-secrets-are-bad mindset of most of those comments. But there's 30% of me that totally gets why he didn't say anything and doesn't blame him one bit. Kinda like how I understood why Sam didn't tell Dean (at first--see, there's hope) that he had that virus thingy at the beginning of the season and was literally dying before he used his vision's weird-ass instructions to burn the virus out of him.

It's raw and scary and way too soon for Dean to say, "Dude, when you died, I was completely lost. It was like I fell into some huge hole inside of me and there was no light and no air and no way out. I was moving on muscle memory alone. There was no fighting, no wining, no anything until I realized I could make a deal and get you back. So, I kinda swallowed a bunch of pills with a doc on standby and had a chat with a Reaper. It's all good, though, because they brought me back Pulp Fiction style and I'm okay."

So, he uses his usual defense mechanism of humor and let's Sam focus on healing up and is able to pretend for a bit that it didn't really happen. He didn't really just basically attempt suicide--regardless of the reason he did it--and they can go back to trying to find Cas and defeat Lucifer and The Darkness.

But the truth will come out sometime. Maybe when they next risk death, maybe when Billie the Reaper is mentioned again, maybe somehow the Universe knows. I'm not sure, but it will come up and Sam will learn the truth and Dean will have to face the music and they will deal with it. As they always do. With halting, desperate promises and intense stares and evasive explanations that all really just boil down to four simple words: I love you, man.


  • Dean performing field surgery to get the bullet out with non-stop running reassurances while also tossing instructions to the rescued hikers. In those few minutes, he was literally everywhere and didn't lose his cool once. Not until Hiker Dude suggested they leave Sam behind.

  • Dean hitting the tree with the broken branch. I get it, man.

  • Dean's devastated face when he thinks Sam is dead. That man has the uncanny ability to convey an ocean of emotion in one blink. It's remarkable.

  • "I'm going to come back for you. Okay? I promise."

  • S: "This could be like camping! It could be fun!" D: "Which part? Freezing our nuts off in the middle of the woods on a thin lead?" S: "Yeah! That part!"

  • Dean having a concussion and broken ribs. Because.

  • Dean curling over himself from pain (in more ways than one) and suddenly getting a look on his face that spells Trouble with a capital "T".

  • Billie telling Dean the ways she had always thought he would die, including, "...choking on a burger while binge-watching Charles in Charge..." D: "That was peak Baio." I totally agree.

  • "Cute. You pretending you're trying to save Sam for the greater good when we both know you're doing it for you. You can't lose him."

  • "The answer will always be 'no'. Game's over, Dean. No more second chances, no more extra lives. Time to say bye-bye to Luigi, Mario."

  • "Please bring him back. Bring him back and take me instead." Guh. *rubs heart*

  • The look on Dean's face when he gets that call from Sam.

  • Sam showing up at the last minute to shoot the Hiker Dude (was it Corbin?) and save Dean from getting strangled.

  • "It took you long enough."

  • "They said I could leave an hour ago, but where am I even supposed to go? After everything I survived together, I watched the man I love die. There's no normal after that." Dean's face as he listens, her words hitting him like bullets to the heart, feeling every one as the truth.

  • S: "What did you do when you thought I was dead?" D: "Thought about redecorating your room. Putting in a jacuzzi. Glitter ball. Really class up the joint."

  • D: "I knew you weren't dead." S: "Right." D: "I knew." Say it a few more times, Dean, and you might convince yourself it's true.

Not so much (more of just a 'meh' this time around):

  • Werewolf lore inconsistencies. I noted this once before back when Garth became a werewolf living with a werewolf family and we had that hiker gal wolfing out as well...when we encountered Madison as a werewolf, she didn't remember anything she did as her wolf self. So, hiker dude knowing exactly what he was doing when he put his hand through the sheriff's chest then told his wife not to be afraid of him just had me tilting my head. Not a HUGE deal, but....

  • Dean having a concussion, broken ribs, a shot of adrenalin to the heart, and a system recovering from an overdose...and he walks out of the clinic and drives away. NOT TO MENTION, Sam getting a "few quarts" of blood, some stitches and antibiotics and being basically good to go. Oh, Show.  You and your magic healing abilities. This is why I love fanfiction. *smiles*

  • "He was only 'mostly' dead." I love a great Princess Bride quote as much as the next gal, but dudes, Dean really thought Sam was dead and almost killed himself to get him back, so it's not like he went through his pockets to look for loose change. *shakes head at writers* Maybe the clinic gave Sam chocolate-coated antibiotics. I hear the chocolate coating makes it go down easier.

Burning Questions:

  • Okay, seriously, raise your hand if you thought Sam was going to smash his fingers when he pulled the Impala's door shut by grabbing hold of the window. *raises hand*

  • Yeah, that's basically it.

So, it looks like next week we get back to the story arc and I'm ready for it. Especially after seeing how not making progress on finding Casifer or Amara has eaten away at Dean and turned Sam into a desperately seeking hunter for distraction techniques. Thanks for reading, guys. I'm off to finish up replying to comments from last week. :)



( 41 Tall Tales — Tell Me A Story )
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Apr. 1st, 2016 03:29 am (UTC)
I so totally said, "Watch your hand" out loud. m o/
Apr. 1st, 2016 03:35 am (UTC)
Right?! I did one of those "eeeeeppp-*exhale*" where my whole body tenses up and then relaxes. I'm sure Jared was inside that car all, "Damn, that was close." HAH!
Apr. 1st, 2016 06:36 am (UTC)
Okay, seriously, raise your hand if you thought Sam was going to smash his fingers when he pulled the Impala's door shut by grabbing hold of the window. *raises hand*

Hahahaha, I can't believe in the middle of such a stressful episode, I had that thought too. Great ramble as always, LOVED this episode.
Apr. 4th, 2016 01:24 am (UTC)
Right? I was like - YIKES! Oh, Whew. When I saw him grab that door. LOL!
Apr. 1st, 2016 07:26 am (UTC)
Maz here...
This episode felt like a fanfic, what with the Romeo & Juliet undertones (well, perhaps no so much undertones when the director focuses on Dean's face when another character talks about losing the one you love) and all the equal-opportunity hurt going on...but then, I do love Hurt! (a lot) and I do love fanfic soo, yep, I revealed in it (even tho there was a fair amount of eyeballing here for the lack of imagination of the writers in trotting out some too familiar themes and the impossibly quick recovery rates - I mean, kudos for actually, unusually, noting the list of injuries that would be likely after such a bust up but then handwaving them away?...too often the Show feels like it's handwaving its audience).

My likes:
The fight scene - it was brutal & great.
Dean's pain - like you say - remarkable.
The actress who played the victim was extremely good - people have been loving Billie but I really think the Show has enough dead-pan-wise-crackers - this girl was utterly convincing in her vulnerability, fear and brokenness. (I saw on twitter that JA thought so too).
And Sam's pink shirt - on him, a thing of beauty (I was less keen on his Hurt!acting - but then I've never been shot so I guess the raspy-groany-stifflegged-flailing thing could be exactly the what I'd be doing too).

Thanks for rambling with us. :)
Apr. 4th, 2016 01:29 am (UTC)
Re: Maz here...
I saw a lot of other comments on Twitter about Romeo and Juliet, so I chose not to go there in my Ramble, but I do see the under/overtones. However, we could also look at it just like we do with how we relate to this show. Like, how I connect with Dean. Or did, anyway, in the first 5 seasons. I didn't go through the same things he did, but there were things he said, did, felt that had me sitting back and registering saying, doing, and feeling the same way about totally different experiences.

So when the wife said she'd just wanted a man she loved die--obviously talking about her husband and romantic love--I could see where Dean would be like, "Yeah, me, too and it totally sucked and the world basically ended around me" in his head, even though he was thinking of brotherly love. So...yeah. I saw it, but...didn't care? Does that make sense?

but then I've never been shot so I guess the raspy-groany-stifflegged-flailing thing could be exactly the what I'd be doing too

This made me literally LOL! I love you for that comment. :)
Apr. 1st, 2016 10:04 am (UTC)
I don’t think I’ve ever had such mixed feelings about an episode. I’m going to take a page out of your book and do Like’s and Dislike’s.


- really good OCs – Michelle, Dr. Kessler, even Corbin. They all felt like real people. They weren’t just staffage in Sam and Dean’s story, they were living their own stories, going through their own dramas. SPN's really good in this aspect lately, but this episode stands out.
- Dean’s competence with medical stuff like infected wrists or “put me on my back”
- Jensen’s acting
- the directing was superb. It felt raw, the reality of the hunting life wasn’t glorified or glamorized, it was shown as ugly, violent, messy and brutal. The deaths weren't pretty. I love that.
- Dean’s pocket knife. This is the second time in a row we’ve seen it, and I think I’ve seen Jensen wear it (or a very similar one) to several cons. So maybe it's art imitating life?


- I’m tired of everyone telling Dean that he’s only saving Sam selfishly because he can’t live without him
- I’m tired of the “without Sam, I’m nothing” angst-fest from Dean. We’ve had 11 seasons of this already. Don’t get me wrong, I love the incredible, unbreakable bond between Sam and Dean, but I hate how that bond often reduces Dean (but never Sam, who’s always been “his own man”, as we hear in Fan Fiction) to barely anything more than a protective satellite orbiting around Sam, someone who is completely lost when Sam’s not around.
- there’s so much more to Dean than who he is in relation to Sam. And the fact that he gets so often reduced to what he is in relation to Sam, is disturbing. Offensive. And it’s really getting stale. I want to see Dean see himself as a real person, separate from Sam. Capable of functioning without Sam (which he’s already managed several times – while Sam was at Stanford, when he lived with Lisa and Ben, etc.).
- I know everyone is ecstatic about BAMF!Sam, but for me, it was way too much. Especially in an episode that portrayed injury and death in a grittier, more realistic way than usual, the fact that Sam managed all the fatal-injury overcoming, car-driving and werewolf-killing action, made everything he did absolutely implausible, therefore completely negating all the supposed BAMF-ness.

There was a lot of good about this episode, but the Dislikes were far too big for me to be able to actually enjoy it.

To end this on a happier note – this episode reminded me of Ramble On (one of my favorite SPN fics ever). The woods, Sam injured, no cellphone reception, Dean determined to get Sam back to civilization… And I kept thinking, if he’d built a travois instead of having Sam walk, maybe they would’ve gotten to safety without anyone (almost) dying :)

And just so you know -- even though my opinion on the episode differs in many aspects from yours, I enjoyed reading your ramble just as much as I always do.
Apr. 3rd, 2016 12:09 pm (UTC)
Lol I totally thought of Ramble On as well when Dean started to put together that litter :D
(no subject) - gaelicspirit - Apr. 4th, 2016 01:33 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gaelicspirit - Apr. 4th, 2016 01:33 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hunenka - Apr. 4th, 2016 05:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 1st, 2016 11:54 am (UTC)
I liked this episode period. I hope I didn't ruin it for you with my text. It takes me so damn long to text stuff by the time I had written that then ti hit me you might not have seen the show yet but I was damned if I was gonna delete it after all that so I added that thing at the top.

And having actually shut my hand in a car door doing exactly what Sam did I definitely flinched and told Bobby the same thing. "I thought he weas gonna get his hand caught int he door,"
Apr. 4th, 2016 01:34 am (UTC)
No ruining -- I saw your spoiler warning, so I didn't read it until after I was done writing.

I knew you'd catch that car door thing, too! LOL!
Apr. 1st, 2016 01:16 pm (UTC)
This was one of those episodes where it's really sad that you can only have one first experience of, because you are so busy having a severe emotional reaction to it that you can't savor the nuances, and when you rewatch it you know what's coming so it's not the same.

I remember feeling very agitated watching "Folsom Prison Blues" in season 2 and being tied up in knots about the boys needing to get out of the cemetery before Henrikson arrived, and never being able to capture that intense anxiety watching it again because I knew it was going to be okay.

This episode was like that...I won't be able to re-experience how it put me through the wringer again.

Though maybe that's a good thing for my poor heart?

My immediate reaction when it was over: Sam Winchester is one badass dude--Sam Fucking Winchester indeed!

My second reaction was OMG Can Jensen Ackles kill me any more with just a look on his face?!?!?

I do think that explanation of why Sam wasn't dead is a little sketchy...In the back of my head I wonder if that wasn't the hand of Divine Providence bringing him back--God's worked subtly behind the scenes in the past, notably throwing the boys on an airplane to get them away from Lucifer in the opening scene of 5.01 and in Cas' resurrection in "Swan Song"--so maybe God wants the Winchesters around to handle Amara?
Apr. 1st, 2016 09:04 pm (UTC)
sorry for butting in - I'm one of those people who much prefer to watch it a second time knowing what is going to happen as I can't stand the tension and stress the first time :)
(no subject) - borgmama1of5 - Apr. 1st, 2016 09:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gaelicspirit - Apr. 4th, 2016 01:48 am (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 1st, 2016 01:27 pm (UTC)
*raises hand* I squirmed a bit there with Sam's hand and the Impala's door (also I loved how Sam ran his hand up the Impala when he got there, so relieved to see her, and very reminiscent of what Dean would have done in that situation!)

Wonderful episode, and I adored all the brotherly love, and how the juxtaposition of everyday brotherly life backstory with the 'now' death, loss and grief just really highlighted Dean's loss, and what was at stake.

I'm loving Billie - she means what she says, and I 100% believe her. It's working for me too, putting that fear of a Winchesters death back, I was terrified! I sure hope they don't put anyone other than Amara in the Empty, I really like the reality of death actually meaning death.

Thank you for sharing your thinky thoughts :)
Apr. 4th, 2016 01:49 am (UTC)
Is it me, or does Billie look a LOT like Toni Braxton?? Every time I see her, I think that.

the juxtaposition of everyday brotherly life backstory with the 'now' death, loss and grief just really highlighted Dean's loss, and what was at stake

YES! This!! :)
Apr. 1st, 2016 03:06 pm (UTC)
Yes, a totally excellent episode! I loved every minute of it. So much *stuff* going on.... And uber-capable Dean in triage mode, that was fucking awesome.

And utterly bad-ass Sam taking out were after were...omg!

And the shaky colt-leg wobble when he fell, and Dean watching himself convulse and die (and omfg, that and Sam being suffocated were so fucking *brutal*, jayzus....)


I think that - Dean had already had his medical care when the cop brought him in, unconscious. And there's nothing but rest and pain meds for ribs, and nothing but rest for a concussion, so they can't *do* anything for him, you know? OD'ing and coming back, well...he'd be weak and shaky and sick, but not *hurt*, you know? And that's something Dean can power through.

And then Sam had time, after, to be stitched up and treated (and i've had transfusions, it takes a bit for the blood to drain into you, so he was there for at least a couple hours), probably getting IV antibiotics at the same time.... And Michelle had been there for over an hour, unable to move on, so they were there for a while, you know?

And then they both checked themselves out AMA and got on home because regardless of their condition, random clinic in random state is *not safe* and they need to go hunker down in their home and get back to 'normal' as soon as possible....
Apr. 4th, 2016 01:51 am (UTC)
RE: Your post-injury supposition...I am 100% sure that the writers apply the same logic when they write the ends of this mega-hurt episodes. And in SPN world, it works--just like having a knock-down, drag-out fight with a demon does not equal multiple contusions.

But in my head...I want more ramifications. That's all. ;)

That's why it's just 'meh' and not "I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH THIS!!" *grins*
Apr. 1st, 2016 09:16 pm (UTC)
Loved this episode!! I didn't think I would because I'm not a hurt Sam fan but boy we got lots of hurt Dean as well and no one can show emotion like Jensen. I remember when Sam died at the end of season 2, Dean's reaction to Sam's death had me in tears, that was so powerful!

I think I actually preferred this on the second watch, I felt something was missing on the first watch I just wanted....more, not sure what I wanted more of, but after re-watching it I didn't feel like that, the way Jensen reacted when he found Sam 'dead' *sobs*

"I'm going to come back for you. Okay? I promise." Oh Dean, you break my heart :'(

"You and your magic healing abilities. This is why I love fanfiction." This is why I love YOUR fanfiction :)

I thought exactly the same thing when Sam closed the Impala door, what on earth was he thinking!!

I'm going to have to ask you another question: could you explain what Dean meant when he said "That was peak Baio" I have no idea what show Billie was talking about so it's probably something to do with that :)

Thanks again for this Gaelic. xoxo

PS I love Dean in that red shirt!!

Edited at 2016-04-01 09:41 pm (UTC)
Apr. 2nd, 2016 08:31 pm (UTC)
Haha! I love being able to explain some of their comments. :) So, Charles in Charge was a TV show in the '80's starring Scott Baio (who might be better recognized as Chachi on Happy Days). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1PuZFWdKYo

I actually loved that show when I was a kid...for the same reason as Dean: Scott Baio peaked then and after that....meh.

I'm working on The Cave -- about 50% through it, and these last two episodes with some hurt Dean moments and reactions have given me a nice burst of inspiration. :)

See you after next week! :)
(no subject) - jennygeee - Apr. 2nd, 2016 09:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 1st, 2016 11:09 pm (UTC)
That was a really stressful episode to watch. But I also thought it was great. I was wondering if Sam was dead and maybe god stepped in to save him. Also, maybe that is how Dean was saved. The reaper said she would know if Sam were dead, but she didn't seem to know that Dean would live. I am probably grasping at straws here. As for the werewolf inconsistencies, didn't Dean say something about their being pure bloods or something? They didn't have to wait for the full moon to change. I remember after "what's her name" came from purgatory none of the monsters were acting as they should. I agree that death being more final adds weight to it. I don't think that Dean has bought into it yet. I think he prefers oblivion to any afterlife anyhow. But now that he knows he can't get Sam back anymore, he might be more careful with him. Also, I have to believe that Dean will want to fix the oblivion thing for Sam's sake. There is so much to be worked out still! I can't wait for next week. Thank you for your great Ramble!
Apr. 6th, 2016 10:31 pm (UTC)
Stressful is the perfect word for it.

I'm sure they explained the werewolves previously -- it just always gets me when it's one of those convenient plot devices that twists lore around, y'know?

Even if Dean does prefer oblivion for himself, I agree with you that he doesn't want that for Sam. So I'm really hoping he digs deep and finds his worth.

See you soon!
Apr. 1st, 2016 11:14 pm (UTC)
One more thought. At the end I thought from Sam's expression that he totally knew that Dean had pulled something, but that he was letting him off the hook for now. He knows him to well, so he knows that Dean did something to try to save him. So it didn't bother me that Dean didn't tell him. I kinda felt like it all was said between the lines.
Apr. 6th, 2016 10:32 pm (UTC)
Y'know, I wondered about that, too. Maybe we'll find out....
Apr. 2nd, 2016 01:44 am (UTC)
Loved reading your thoughts. If anyone understands Dean it's you. :)
I really enjoyed this episode because of all your loves and I was really involved and tense.
Gaelic, I think the reason Dean didn't tell Sam what he did (the pill thing and offering himself up) was because he knew Sam would be livid. He's in a good place with Sam and doesn't want to risk messing that up.
Thanks for writing this.

Apr. 6th, 2016 10:33 pm (UTC)
Hey Judy -- thanks so much for reading and commenting!

And I totally agree why Dean didn't tell Sam what he did -- that was the 30% of me that understood. I wouldn't have been able to say anything yet either. ;)

See you soon!
Apr. 2nd, 2016 07:56 am (UTC)
I think I will like this episode more on rewatch. It was intense and I really enjoyed all the Dean scenes. I agree regarding the themes (good points) expressed through the episode. It was a "theme" ep, not a "hunt" ep - there wasn't much of a story otherwise was there. The writers are obviously trying to make us scared again instead of waiting for a miracle.

The Sam scenes though just didn't do it for me. Killing those two werewolves and emerging from that door like that... crawling into the impala (FINGERS!!!) and actually driving all the way to the hospital and shooting the last werewolf - the image of him there was just too much for me. I loved how you put even that in a better light, though.

I totally understand why Dean would not tell Sam the truth at the end. I don't quite see why anyone wouldn't :P And I also have many experiences with my husband (and I) taking it out on things when he (I) was frustrated... so that was a wonderful scene to me too. I felt his frustration.

Thank you for the good read<3

Edited at 2016-04-02 08:01 am (UTC)
Apr. 6th, 2016 10:34 pm (UTC)
Others have said the same -- that they need another watch to really appreciate it.

I think those who were choosing to have issue with Dean not telling Sam at the end were just basing it on the overall "secrets are bad" theme and not really on this particular situation.

Thank you as always for reading and commenting. Love hearing from you. :)
Apr. 2nd, 2016 11:10 pm (UTC)
Hi Gaelic, loved your Ramble as usual. This one was very intense and brutal. I think that may have been the most brutal fight scene (with the exception of Dean's in Cain's kitchen) that this show has had, at least in a long time. And I've got to say, I had a hard, hard time watching overdosed Dean foaming at the mouth and seizing. I also agree that I was surprised to see this in light of the actors' campaigns against depression and suicidal or unhealthy thoughts.

Dean's reactions and grief when he thought Sam was dead were poignant. Jensen's expressions broke my heart - he is a true master at them. Loved your explanations and intuition regarding Dean's psyche. Spot on, I think.

My only real problem with the episode was that I thought Sam's actions stretched credulity. C'mon, a bullet to the gut and he can do all that? Really? But like it was with Dean, I had a hard, hard time watching him get suffocated to "death". And if Dean determined that Sam was dead, I can't imagine how he just "revived" some time later on his own. When they cut back and forth between stories, keeping time is difficult - these stories may have been happening simultaneously with the exception of Sam's drive in the Impala to the care center.

I enjoyed the episode - not quite as much as last week's - but enough. I'm curious to see how Billie's threat of the Empty will play out as we go forward. There must be a reason it's come up again, right? We'll see.

Thanks again for the Ramble, and I'll see you next week.


Edited at 2016-04-02 11:12 pm (UTC)
Apr. 6th, 2016 10:36 pm (UTC)
It WAS brutal, wasn't it? Like...intensely so.

I like how you worded this: I thought Sam's actions stretched credulity

I was willing to hand wave those feats of strength because of what I felt they wanted us to take away about Sam's badassery. But, yeah...in real life? Heh. No way.

I'm curious to see how Billie's threat of the Empty will play out as we go forward. There must be a reason it's come up again, right? We'll see.

Me too!!

See you soon, Irish. :)
Apr. 3rd, 2016 03:58 am (UTC)
I love your ep reviews because they always sum things up beautifully :)
One thing about this ep that kinda had me chuckling though, was the one scene waaayy back at the very beginning when they're looking at the missing poster with the bartender/werewolf, and the title on the poster says "For Campers Missing" - I guess that somebody didn't use spellcheck lol!
Apr. 6th, 2016 10:38 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! I'm pleased you enjoy them.

OMG -- I didn't even notice that! HAHA! Typo alert! That's hilarious.
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