I am made of fail.
I fully intended to have this completed last night when I returned from book club, but we were discussing “I Was A Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids,” and if there is anything 8 women can discuss for hours upon end, it’s the ups and downs of motherhood.
Upon returning home, I barely made it to bed, let alone to the TV, so I sacrificed my work-out this morning to watch our boys. I think I chose wisely.
Because? This episode was a kick in the ass. Figuratively and literally. *HUGS SHOW*
I loved this episode. I love how it slipped against my life. I love how it shook Dean up and set Sam sideways and gave them back that synchronicity that they needed to see in each other. My hope from last episode—the hope that Sam cared so much for Dean that he was afraid of losing him, not convinced that Dean was worthless in this fight—was renewed.
As the Kinks roll out with A Well-Respected Man we are treated to a snazzy-dressed (we’re talking tie, collar/cuffs, suspenders, the works, baby) Dean steaming his morning cappuccino in his ultra-modern, very stainless steel, direct from the Ethan Allen catalogue apartment. He heads outside to his *gulp* Pruis and turns off rock ‘n roll in favor of *doublegulp* NPR. No offense to you NPR-lovers out there, but… *yawn*
Heading in to the high-rise office of Sandover Iron and Something (didn’t catch it), he does the nod/wink to fellow corporate forward-thinkers, slips into his office where his nameplate says Dean Smith, Director of Sales and Marketing and slips easily into the Jerry MacGuire BSing role of telling people what they want to hear. Eating salad (SALAD?!) at his desk with dead eyes staring at a computer, he continues his day with his boss stepping in to say “Good stuff” and “Big things” (WTF??), then writes down a recipe for weight loss because of his sad, sedentary lifestyle.
If I might slip into the gutter briefly, the man could wear a burlap sack and I think my pulse would quicken. Make no mistake—I love me some holey jeans, a gray T-shirt, flannel, leather, our Dean. But the corporate suit? The suspenders? The styled hair? Dude, I’d take it if those eyes were staring out and those lips were serious and pursed in my direction. He. Was. Yummy.
Okay, so, the only thing I knew about this episode was what we were shown in the previews from last week, and honestly? I was so shaken up by the events of that epi that I didn’t really let the ramifications of what this episode would include sink in. Now I’m watching my hero live the life so many of us have been doomed to—existing on survival mode because what the hell else is there, learning to like coffee because we need the legal hit of a stimulant and sometimes because we need to fit in. Finding the crack of promise in a two-word compliment from the person that holds your financial livelihood in their hands.
God. Just… God.
Quite literally MOMENTS before watching the epi this morning, I had said to my good friend Ash (and yes, I do have a good friend named Ash) that I wasn’t who I was supposed to be. I’m not kidding—you can ask her. We had been talking about being Mothers the night before and I said that I wasn’t the same person now that I was before I had Mo Chuisle and I didn’t know who I was now, but that I wasn’t sure I was who I was supposed to be. I wasn’t meant to simply be her mom. I had a different journey. She was a crucial part of that journey, but she wasn’t the end of it.
Many of the other ladies said that their destiny was to be a Mom. They are satisfied with this point, but some were fearful of what was going to happen when the kids no longer needed them as they do now. I don’t have that fear. I have different fears, like missing the point of it all, or being so concerned with what I’m not to see what I am, but all I could articulate at the time was that I was meant to be something else. Something more.
And then… I watched our boys. Dude, seriously? I felt all weird and shaky. I can’t tell you how much I loved this episode on so many different levels—the metaphor, the lessons, the correlation with real life. I’m gonna try to get that all out in this ramble if you hang with me.
JazzyIrish, who wrote this one? I didn’t pay attention. Again. Although, I did see that Kim Manners was exec producer. *sniff*
Okay, anyway, day ends and Dean Smith gets into the elevator with a nicely-buff looking Sam in a yellow shirt and khaki’s (which, oddly, worked nicely to frame that sweet ass of his). Sam is looking at Dean strangely and eventually is compelled to ask, “Do I know you?” After some uncomfortable shrug-offs, Dean shuts him down with a “Save it for the health club, pal.”
HA! *Gaelic guffaws*
We head to the yellow-shirt cube farm where Sam Wesson is working tech support, headgear framing his ear while he taps the bobble head of a cartoonish vampire and drones, “Did you turn it off then turn it back on?”
First of all? Smith and Wesson? Oh. My. God. *LAUGHING SO HARD* The writers had an awesome time with this episode. I have never wanted so badly to have been in that room while an episode was being born.
Second? I now feel extremely guilty for all the many times I’ve had to call tech support and/or the IT guy to help me fix something that turned out to be so flippin’ simple he must have just wanted to kill me. I learned a lot from him, though. Enough that I can now run my business from my own house. I only have to call Geek Squad like, oh, once a quarter. *ahem*
ANYWAY, Sam has a rapport with Ian, the flannel-shirt-wearing, devil-may-care tech guy who likes to “shop” in the office supply closet. Sam has shared with Ian his dreams about fighting ghosts and vampires, the most recent being that he saved a grim reaper named Tessa. Ian chortles saying “thank God we have Harry Potter to save us from the apocalypse!”
“Dick!”
“Wizard!”
*snicker*
Bored out of his skull, Sam falls asleep at his desk and dreams quick flashes of Season 1 and Season 2. Jerking awake, another day has ended and he heads to the elevator where he’s eventually left alone once more with Dean Smith, who is looking highly uncomfortable under Sam’s scrutiny.
“Can I ask you a question?” leads to “What do you think about ghosts… vampires.” Dean says he’s not given them much thought and Sam confesses that he’s been having these dreams… Dean does a public service and says to Sam, “You overshare.” *smirk*
Sam returns to his “turn it off/turn it on” excitement and Ian says he got an email to report to HR, hoping they “spank him.” Oooookay then. Paul, an older techie who was previously shown to be REALLY into his work, starts to have a massive freak out about losing a days worth of work and when left behind for the day completely loses his shit, heads to the break room, and stuffs his head in a microwave.
I KNOW! I was skeeved out beyond measure. I mean… guuuhhhhhh.
So, next day, Paul’s body is being wheeled out and both Dean and Sam are watching, both obviously feeling something isn’t right about this. They individually figure out that poor Paul was two weeks away from retirement before he zapped himself. Sam brings this up to Ian, who is now wearing the Yellow Shirt and is as focused on work as Dead Paul had been prior to the whole microwave incident. Sam’s all, wtf, dude, and Ian gets a call to go up and see a manager.
Said manager just so happens to be Dean Smith, who simply wants him to fill out a TPS report. Or something. Anyway, Ian flips out, runs out of Dean’s office with Dean hot on his heels, heads to the bathroom to stare at himself in the mirror with complete self-loathing. Cool air, water and soap coming on and Dean’s creeped out. He demands that Ian Look At Him (and that voice, mrroww).
Ian turns, grabs one of the pencils he’d stolen, then jabs it into his jugular. GORE! Just before calling for help, Dean sees the reflection of an old man in the bathroom stall door. As the police are questioning him, Dean sees Sam standing in the crowd of onlookers looking on and something crosses his face.
So, at this point I’m watching going… okay, what’s the deal? Trickster? Demon? Are they under the same ghostly spell and aren’t themselves??
Dean calls Sam to his office (where he’s changing his shirt like a good little corporate executive) and they start in on the whole what’s the deal conversation. Both started 3 weeks ago, both have an “instinct” that something is going on here that’s all ghosty and stuff. Sam reveals that both Paul and Ian were sent a memo to report to HR in room 1444. Dean reveals that HR is on the 7th floor. Duh, duh duhhhhh.
“You want to check this out?”
“Right now?”
“You’re right… it’s getting late.”
“Dude, I am dying to check this out right now.”
“Right?!”
Dean’s word for the episode was “Right?!” Loved it.
So now I’m thinking, okay, so this is a lesson for Dean, to teach him what he’s meant to do, right? But if that’s right, then why is Sam dreaming? And why have ghosts in what is essentially an AU? *shut up and watch, Gaelic*
Okay, so they head to 1444, hear some hollering inside from another wayward Techie that has been attacked by the ghostie. Sam kicks the locked door open and Dean’s like “Whoa!” They struggle, fight, and Dean grabs a wrench and swings it at the old man ghostie (that reminded me a lot of the doc from Asylum) and the ghost vanishes.
“How did you know how to do that?”
“I have no idea!”
*Gaelic claps ‘cause she is loving them working together*
I mean, was it me, or were you all feeling a distinct Season 1 vibe through most of this epi?
Okay, so back at Dean’s stainless steel pad, they’re regrouping. Sam wants a beer, but Dean’s “on the cleanse” and got rid of the carbs, so he hands Sam a bottle of water. The conversation segues into “we’ve done this before” territory – but not like Shirley McClain before. Sam’s speech in that moment totally hit home for me.
“Don’t like my job, don’t like my clothes, don’t like my own last name (AWWW!)… think we should be doing something else… something in my blood (ha!)… like we’re destined to be doing something else.”
Dean, however, doesn’t believe in destiny he says. He believes in dealing with what is right in front of him.
How incredibly true to form are both those statements? From the beginning, Dean has been black and white, Sam has been gray. Sam has been the visionary, the “what if” guy. Dean didn’t believe it until he could see, smell, touch, taste. I loved that. I love that they were so very THEM in that moment.
“What do we do now?”
“We do what I do best, Sammy (AWWW! He said Sammy! *sniffs*). Research. “
*Gaelic guffaws at the role switch there.*
We even got a Season 1 throwback of “don’t call me Sammy”… although, seriously? I love love love how easily it rolled off of Dean’s tongue. *pauses for a moment to think about Dean’s tongue*
Annnndddd… high-larity ensues when Dean cries Jackpot and says “I just found the best site ever.” OMG… I needed that laugh. I really did. It came from the belly.
So, we get a little Ghostfacers montage with instructions about what to do (figure out what you’re up against) and how to get rid of it (salt, iron, all that). They bring up the Winchesters – which gets a bit fat nothing from the boys as they watch the “instructional video” – and say that no matter what they learned from the “douchenozzles” that they still sucked.
So, Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson learn that their ghost is none other than PT Sandover, the founder of the company. They realize that he wasn’t afraid of the wrench, but that it was the iron in the wrench. They figure that the ghost appears during times of great economic stress (17 suicides in 1929 – yipe!), and that they have to dig up the remains (which, as the ‘facers point out, is illegal in some states. Make that all states.) They find out the Sandover was cremated—but are told by the ‘facers to NOT PANIC. There is some genetic material (who says milk teeth anymore??) left behind.
So, they arm up with salt and andirons, unsure where to or how to get guns on short notice, and head to the skyscraper to look for ancient DNA. They synchronize their Swatches—er, I mean cell phones—in case they get lost, and head to room 1444 (which, they found out, used to be Sandovers office once upon a time).
Still with me? Good. Okay, so Sam gets caught sneaking around by a well-intentioned security guard and Dean is left to keep looking. Sam and Guard are in the elevator when it starts to wig out and I got EXTREMELY NERVOUS. We’re talking, roll into a ball and chant omgomgomgomgomg nervous. So, while Dean is finding a picture of some bridge that gives him a clue as to where the ancient DNA is, Guard pries the elevator doors open and shimmies out while Sam’s like, uh-uh, no thanks, I’ll wait.
You totally knew what was going to happen, but still, hearing the Guard say something about waiting the rest of his life just before the elevator literally cuts him in half, splattering his blood all over a shocked and shaken Sam while his legs (ACK!) are still kicking in reaction… GORE!!! Sam answers Dean’s “are you okay” page with a trembling “call you back.”
Dean tells him to meet on the 22nd floor while Sam implores him to “take the stairs.” They find PT Sandovers gloves and…. FIGHT! And, dudes, it was awesome. None of the angst or the stomach clenching of this season. Just straight up swinging iron bars and flinging salt and getting tossed and Sam yelling “DEAN!” and figuring it out in the nick of time and burning the gloves and a “that was awesome” and a “right?! Right?!”
*CHEERS!* Loved it loved it loved it.
Later, Dean claims that was the most fun he’s had in his life while he’s getting bandages out for both of them. Sam says that they should just do this – think of all the people they could save. Dean scoffs asking what, are they going to live on stolen credit cards, greasy diner food, bad motels… Sam’s like, those are just details. Dean argues that the details are everything. They can’t fight ghosts without health insurance. *frowns*
Sam tells him that in the ghostie dreams he had, Dean was there. They were friends—more like brothers. He doesn’t think they’re living the right life. Dean’s like, dude, I went to Stanford, father is Bob, mother is Ellen, sister is Jo. *HA!!* Sam’s like, yeah, he moved here because he broke up with his fiancé Madison, but he called her number and all he got was an animal hospital. *DOUBLE HA!* I’m telling you, the writers had a BLAST with this. I certainly did!
Dean’s like, you’re saying my family isn’t real? Sam’s like, I have a feeling in my gut that we’re supposed to be something else. I know you.
And I swear to you, it was like gears literally fell into place for me. I didn’t quite get it until the very end—the whole WHY that I’d been looking for throughout the entire episode. But it was that statement from Sam that made it clear. I’ll get to it in a minute, but I know you all are already there. You were there last night, man.
Dean says that Sam doesn’t know him and tells him to leave. Sam complies. Next day, Sam is back in tech support staring at the phone while it rings and rings and rings and bloodyhellmaketheflippinthingstop rings. Took me back to my Admin Assistant days when I just wanted to beat the phone to death. And then? Sam does. I’m not kidding. Stands up and beats it to death with a crowbar. “I quit.”
*CLAPS AND WHISTLES!!!!*
Dean is in his office typing typing typing. Mr. Boss Man comes in and I narrow my eyes at him. I didn’t trust him completely. I don’t know if it was because in this universe he was The Man, or because he gave off a vibe, but… yeah. He sits down and tells Dean he’s willing to reward him for his hard work with a generous bonus because he “wants to make sure you’re not going anywhere.”
Ah-HA! Demon! Right?! Wrong.
Dean gives notice, thanking Mr. Boss Man for his generosity and says he very recently realized that he has some work he has to do that’s very important. “This is not who I’m supposed to be.”
“Dean, Dean, Dean…” And, our hero is touched by an angel, returning to himself in a rush, horrified by the fact that he’s wearing a tie and STARVING. *laugh*
Turns out Mr. Boss Man is Zachariah, Castiel’s superior. After the unfortunate incident with Uriel, he decided that he needed to pay them a visit. Dean gets flippant and Zach says, “starting with your attitude.” Dean’s all…wth is up with the hallucination or whatever and Zach says “you should see my decoupage.”
“Gross. No thank you.”
*BWAH!!!*
Turns out this is a real place, a real haunting, but Zach took the boys and dropped them in there without their memories. Basically for this:
“To prove to you that the path you’re on is in your blood—you’re a hunter. Not because your dad called you, not because God called you back, but because it’s what you are. You love it. You find your way to it in the dark because you’re miserable without it. You will stop it.”
Dean’s listening, his face set, his eyes deep, his lips twitching. At this he bellows with the jaw muscle rippling along his cheek, “Stop what? The apocalypse? Lucifer? Be specific, man!”
“You will do everything you’re destined to do. All of it. I know, I know, you’re not strong enough, you’re scared, you’ve got Daddy issues…”
Dean: “Angel, or not, I will stab you in your face.” ATTA BOY!!!
“You get a chance to change things,” Zach continues. “Save people. It’s not a curse, it’s a gift. So quit whining about it. There are plenty of fates worse than yours.”
The screen goes black with that call to action and Dean lifts his face, his eyes meeting the angels and something shifts there. A light. A purpose.
This was the kick in the ass that he’s needed. I have friends that do that for me – virtually and in “real life.” I have the ones who will pet me and offer me condolences. I have the ones that I can go to for all my justification needs. And I have the ones that will smack me around like Cher and yell, “Snap out of it!”
This was Dean’s smack. This whole illusion was placed put on so that he can see that this wasn’t thrust upon him. This wasn’t his burden to bear. This was him. And not just Dean, but Sam, too. Sam had to be in this AU for two reasons, as I saw it:
One: He is crucial to Dean’s being whole. Without Sam there, there isn’t a reason for Dean to be who he is. He needed that interaction with Sam to come back to himself. He could have done that whole thing on his own—the research, the fight, all of it. But it was the chemistry with Sam that trigger the want to do it in him.
Two: Sam had the memories, the dreams, the gut-instinct of destiny. But it was more than that—he needed to remember that it was about a journey of two. In all of his dreams, Dean was there. They were “like brothers” in those memories. And no amount of power or destiny or what have you erased that. He needed Dean to walk that path with him. He didn’t want to do it alone. And that’s important—it’s vital that they both remember that.
Zach’s vicious shake wasn’t without understanding, though. It wasn’t as if all that Dean was feeling or suffering from/with wasn’t valid and/or justified. His life has been hard. And Daddy issues suck out loud. And yeah, he’s scared and scarred and beaten and tired. But… all that aside? He’s strong enough. He’s good enough. And he can do this. He just had to be reminded. No amount of soft-eyed gazes and cryptic messages from Castiel or pleas to “get angry” from Sam was going to fix this. The only other thing that might have worked would have been John saying, “I need you to do this.”
But even that would have been a cop-out. Because Dean needed to come back to himself because HE deserves it, because he is worthy. Not because Dad asked him to.
Like I said at the beginning, I loved this episode. I love how it slipped against my life. I love how it shook Dean up and set Sam sideways and gave them back that synchronicity that they needed to see in each other. My hope from last episode—the hope that Sam cared so much for Dean that he was afraid of losing him, not convinced that Dean was worthless in this fight—was renewed.
Tune in next week when you’ll hear Gaelic say…
- Where Am I?:office
- How Do I Feel?:
hopeful - Feeding the Muse:Breath by Breaking Benjamin
Who Is Gaelic?
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1)
gaelicspirit- Gaelicspirit
- Storyteller's Journey
Comments
The only other thing that might have worked would have been John saying, “I need you to do this.”
But even that would have been a cop-out. Because Dean needed to come back to himself because HE deserves it, because he is worthy. Not because Dad asked him to.
& thats what this whole ep boiled down to. Deans self worth. I hope he sees himself in a better light.
I know it will probably take more the a simple AU experience for him to realize it. but i hope it sets him on the road to recovery.
thank you for this :)
i hope it sets him on the road to recovery.
See, I think that's it right there. Nothing is SOLVED... but the journey back to himself has begun.
The hubs and I have different opinions on who Zachariah is. The Hubs thinks he's really one of Uriel's supporters. I don't think so. I agree with you. Dean needed a kick in the ass to straighten out his head. And he needed a stron persona to give it to him cause let's be honest; Dean is a strong personality and all of Castiels gentle uncertainty or even Sam's beseeching him to get angry is going to get through to him.
"Because Dean needed to come back to himself because HE deserves it, because he is worthy." Bingo. Well said Gaelic.
"Tune in next week when you’ll hear Gaelic say… "
until then my dear,
Kate
I love that your hubs gets involved not only in the show but in the speculating. :) I don't think he's right in this case. I think that Zach is there to help Dean get back on his feet -- he just has an interesting way of going about it.
It kinda reminded me of the movie "Hook" when grown up Peter Pan returns to Neverland to find his kids, and the Lost Boys don't believe it's really Peter Pan, until one little boy goes up to him, smushes his face around a little and proclaims, "THERE you are, Peter!"
There you are, Dean. Remember this guy? It's not gonna go away. You don't just GET OVER it. But if you want to try, take my hand and head this way...
I figured from the start that an angel was responsible for the new reality for the boys. The title of the episode is a parody of "It's a Wonderful Life" in which an angel is in charge of "showing" the way. I don't know whether you noticed, but when Zachariah touched Dean on the forehead, the bright setting dimmed to our more usual colorization in the series. Very clever - just like the brightness in WIAWSNB.
In the shallow end of the pool, I thought Dean looked HOT, HOT, HOT. Loved the taste of the person in charge of wardrobe. And I cracked up when he threw his tie over his shoulder when he was eating his salad of all things. On the other hand, I thought Sam looked like a dork and that takes some work since he is such a good looking guy. Canary yellow - so not his thing.
I really liked the interaction between the boys as they "discovered" this new life, the way they trusted each other almost on instinct, and they had each other's backs. Oh to go back to those days again...
I agree that it would have been a blast to be a fly on the wall in that writing room. Sera did a good job. I could even stomach the Ghostfacers - which is saying a lot - since that is my all-time least favorite episode. But that could be because a few minutes of them is a whole lot better than a full episode of them.
I thought that Zach's message to Dean was right on. Right?! *ha* He basically told Dean that his life had meaning, had purpose, and a damn good one at that. Dean has everything in him that he needs to succeed, to fulfill his fate - all he has to do is pull himself up by the bootstraps, and like you say, "snap out of it". I'll be very curious to see how Dean is acting in the next episode, if we see a significant change in him.
Fabulous review as always. You really make the episodes twice as enjoyable and I love your insights.
Catch ya' later,
Irish
Come to think of it, I did notice that. It just didn't hit me the first time around.
He basically told Dean that his life had meaning, had purpose, and a damn good one at that.
Yep. And while it seems that some aren't pleased with HOW the message was delivered, the point was, Dean started to hear it. Loud and clear. For the first time. And while he's still trying to swallow not only the fact that he started this, but also that he has to finish it, he might now be able to take a deep breath instead of barely keeping his head above water.
Thanks so much for reading and offering me your thoughts. I knew I could count on you.
Oh, PS.
I just saw a flash in the previews for next week, but was the author on those books Carver Edlund? As in two last names of SPN writers?? How clever!
I totally loved last night's episode. It was great to see the boys working together again even though they didn't "know" each other. Instinctively they did and it was wonderful.
Jensen looked fantastic in all those suits AND managed to make suspenders sexy (IMHO). hehe And Jared--holy cow--he is so freakin' fantastically gorgeous. (Crazy but I loved him in khakis!) I imagine because of the brighter lighting, both boys' eyes were beyond belief--glowingly beautiful. There were lots and lots of close up shots last night that just made my heart flutter. (Including a good number of butt shots and full frontage shots. ROFL)
I was way late on catching that their last names were Smith & Wesson. I paid more attention to Sam's last name being Wesson than I did Dean's being Smith. The friend who was over to watch with me last night (Heidie--a co-worker and friend who went to ChicagoCon with me last November) caught on a split second before I did.
I loved Dean and the whole cleansing drink thing--very funny.
And Sam with his IT guy helpfulness--"Did you try turning it off. Turn it off. Now turn it back on. Did that help--is it printing?" Oh so patient and sweet. But then at the end, the total destruction of the phone. I was laughing my butt off.
The deaths of the three employees and the ghost who was killing them were all appropriately creepy. (Especially the scene when the ghost kept popping up behind each of them so fast.) Harkening back to the old days of Season 1, which was really, really nice to see.
And I, for one, liked Zachariah. I know many didn't. I thought was did a good job giving Dean a pep talk. Possibly a little pushy maybe--but I thought he was just determined to get Dean to see he was meant to be a hunter. I do wish that we would have had a tad bit of Dean and Sam at the very end--like say Dean rushing out of his office after the talk with Zachariah to find his brother and then running into Sam just as they reach the front door of the office building and Sam saying something like "Dean, what the hell--what--were we just..." And Dean just saying, "Yeah." as the screen fades to black. They could have cut a minute out of each of the death scenes to give us three minutes of S&D closure at the end.
But other than that minor complaint, last night's episode rocked.
Vanessa
I'm always so happy to see you and see your thoughts. Thank you so much for that.
I think the only reason I noticed Smith and Wesson right away was because when I saw Dean's last name was Smith I was like "if Sam is Sam Jones I'm gonna laugh"... only they were much better than any "alias Smith and Jones" crack. :)
Your comments were the first I heard (since I don't venture out much) that people didn't like Zachariah. I guess looking through different eyes, I could see his approach being a bit harsh and abrupt. But the way I see it, Dean didn't need consoling in the moment. He didn't need someone tending to his wounds. He didn't even really need someone allowing him to tend to them.
He needed someone to remind him that he's tough. That he IS the man his father wanted him to be. He needed to be pulled to his feet and shown why he could stay there. The wounds won't go away -- I mean you don't just heal from that in a moment. But it will be a lot easier for him to recover standing up than on the ground.
That's just me, though. There is room for all thought out there, yeah?
Thanks again for reading. :)
Things I laughed at (which--laughter during an episode. I missed that) or found cool:
1) Dean listening to NPR, so totally reminded me of the hubs. *laugh*
2) Dean on the Masters Diet/Cleanse--No idea if this was a nod to the Office and their weight-loss episode, but all Dean had to say was lemon juice and I was shouting at my TV "Don't do it! Not the Masters diet!!" His "why am I so hungry" comment at the end...*shakes head*
3) Smith and Wesson...*snicker* Nice.
4) Poor Sam...tech support...knowing a few people that do that. My sympathies, Sammy. Taking a fire poker to the telephone...I wanted to do that today at work. *laugh* Kinda wanna do the whole Office Space thing sometime...take our fax machine out to a field with a bat...*cough*
5) Kripke and co must have seen Last House on the Left (microwave death), The Happening (pencil death), and Resident Evil (elevator death)...or well I did, and had flashbacks during those scenes. *shivers*
6) The Ghostfacer's video blog. Dear. God. I muttered "I love this show" in between fits of laughter.
7) "Angel, or not, I will stab you in your face." *sighs* Now there's Dean.
Your review as always was a joy. This:
"I wasn’t who I was supposed to be."
God, know that feeling all too well...
"I mean, was it me, or were you all feeling a distinct Season 1 vibe through most of this epi?"
I think that's why I was grinning through the whole thing instead of grabbing the tissues.
"I’m telling you, the writers had a BLAST with this. I certainly did!"
Agreed!
"Zach’s vicious shake wasn’t without understanding, though. It wasn’t as if all that Dean was feeling or suffering from/with wasn’t valid and/or justified. His life has been hard. And Daddy issues suck out loud. And yeah, he’s scared and scarred and beaten and tired. But… all that aside? He’s strong enough. He’s good enough. And he can do this. He just had to be reminded. No amount of soft-eyed gazes and cryptic messages from Castiel or pleas to “get angry” from Sam was going to fix this. The only other thing that might have worked would have been John saying, “I need you to do this.”
But even that would have been a cop-out. Because Dean needed to come back to himself because HE deserves it, because he is worthy. Not because Dad asked him to."
Very well said.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
-SJ
I'm just be glad that the brokenness at the end of 'On the Head of a Pin' is starting to mend.
Absolutely. I mean, it's not like Dean's all "you're right, I'm better, thanks for that..." but he had some light in his eyes that had been completely gone prior to last night. It was like... a dimmer switch had started to crank up. And there is a long road ahead for him, and I'm sure there will be so much more pain involved (they are Winchesters after all), but I actually have hope that he might walk through the fire.
Thanks again, girl. Love love love to hear from you!!
"...but I actually have hope that he might walk through the fire."
Hope. That was why I loved this.
Looking forward to next week and your thoughts then too. Previews had a "Heroes" vibe...the whole comic book thing. We shall see. :)
I caught the Smith & Wesson almost immediately. An ol friend had some kittens named Smith & Wesson. LOL There was a lot of fun here, like you said and it was wonderful to see Dean into the hunt and energetic and seeming so normal again. *I love that little thing he does with his tongue! sigh*
I, too, thought there was something about the boss and was thrilled to find out who/what he was. Woohoo! Dean needed this, Sam needed this, and I needed this. I'm thrilled and no longer too worried about the rest of the season. :D Yippee!
I'm thankful that there will only be two epis that I'll miss while gone, but Tara's gonna watch them with me. That will be stupendous!
Anyway, I adored your review and we seem to adore the same things. *wiggles eyebrows*
Okay, I will keep emailing the link to you when you're down under so you can laugh at me and my frenetic lunacy with Tara. Who, speaking of, hasn't posted HER thoughts yet... where is that girl??
I am so happy to see your comments and love that you enjoyed it as much as I.
Anyway, I adored your review and we seem to adore the same things.
And that's why I love ya, lady. :)
Slatine!
hmmm really not quite sure what my reaction is.
this one didn't really sit right with me
last weeks was so so awesome then....this weeks left me just not knowing what to think
I liked the message..but i still think dean shouldn't be able to just get over it.
it felt a bit like a cop out
i liked the message about being meant for something more and following that,...loved how it felt like season 1....just, i mean... he cant just get over it... he has been through some heavy stuff.. you can't just say 'oh i will think more positive and it will all be fine'
i liked the ghost hunters whining about the Winchesters, and giant sam in the teeny tiny cubicle, and dean constantly saying 'i know right!'
i liked it...i just didn't love it...it just felt anti climactic after last week
its just weird, i expected something bigger
i need to let it sink in a bit
i just feel a bit deflated
love that you loved it though...i'm kind on the fence with this one
i'm not sure what i feel
First, thanks for coming by and reading and commenting.
Then it just felt disrespectful of everything Dean has endured.
I can see where you're coming from here. I mean, it's easy for the Powers That Be to observe from the outside and say "it's not that bad, you could have worse" and an entirely different matter to, oh, survive HELL. But I just think that sometimes you have to be told something like that in a tone that makes you want to strike back to realize that you still have the strength in you to strike at all.
*shrug*
I am really looking forward to what's to come. I don't feel so heavy now.
I liked the message..but i still think dean shouldn't be able to just get over it
I totally agree... and the thing is, I don't think he's just going to get over it. Here's what I put in a reply above:
"I guess looking through different eyes, I could see [Zach's] approach being a bit harsh and abrupt. But the way I see it, Dean didn't need consoling in the moment. He didn't need someone tending to his wounds. He didn't even really need someone allowing him to tend to them.
He needed someone to remind him that he's tough. That he IS the man his father wanted him to be. He needed to be pulled to his feet and shown why he could stay there. The wounds won't go away -- I mean you don't just heal from that in a moment. But it will be a lot easier for him to recover standing up than on the ground."
I think you will get something bigger -- I think they needed to let us all take a breath for a moment before coming in for the final blow. I mean, last week, man, we were on the ropes. There was nothing left. I don't know about you, but I couldn't let that episode go all week.
This week, I was able to go, there you are, boys. That's the unity I love. That's the instinct I fell in with at the beginning of this journey. I think the thing I liked most about what Zacharia said was that this is what Dean is -- not because of John or God or angels, but because it's him. He'd find his way back to it in the dark.
Saving people, hunting things.
I think there is a long road ahead of him, and that he's going to need his brother to get through it, and Sam's going to need Dean to survive his addiction and the precarious balance of power he's struggling with. But I think this was a huge step in the right direction.
Thing is, though, that's just me, y'know? You don't have to agree, and in fact, I like that you posted your "fence" feelings. Because how boring would it be if this was a total love-fest, right? :) We all have strong opinions and I really enjoy hearing them.
Thanks so much for coming by. :)
and you really did make some great points... dean really did need some of his confidence back, i just hope they don't take all thats happened to dean and sweep it under the rug.
hehe i keep secretly waiting for my dean goes nutso scene lol! though i am not holding my breath either hehe.
i did love the way it was almost a throw back to season 1 though..it was nice to see them just battle a ghost together... i've really missed that...but i have also really enjoy the angst! its a beautiful thing.
though i have no doubt they will back being brothers with each other sooner or later
man i must have watched episode 416 a thousand times.. next to Lazarus i think its been the most powerful episode this season... really fantastic
Yeah, I totally get that. I wonder all the time, what is my real purpose here on Earth. What is it that I should be doing?
Sometimes, I think I think too much :).
Anyway, I have to say, I thought Jensen was super-hot dressed like that--and his hair was cute and he was clean shaven! I swear, its impossible for him to look bad! He looked like a model for GQ or something.
I found this episode to be a very interesting contrast to WIAWSNB. It would seem that in WIAWSNB, Dean felt that if he had not had hunting in his life, he'd be a loser--irresponsible, selfish and practically a drunk...but it was neat that when his memories of his life were gone, when hunting was removed from the equation of his life, he was still successful, honorable, responsible even! You could see that all the traits that make Dean a great hunter are DEAN'S traits and not something hunting forced him to be, which is how I felt all along.
This ep only confirmed for me that WIAWSNB was Dean's version of who he would be without hunting and NOT how he actually would be. I think if Mary had never died and all the rest, he'd still have found some way to help people and be an all around good guy.
I also noticed the parallels of this ep to "Faith." It would seem that regardless of what the circumstance or playing field, Sam is always the one with the open mind, willing to believe there's MORE out there, while Dean is the skeptic. It was neat to see their roles stay true after this much time had passed between eps.
Also, another something I noticed--even when Sam had "normal," it wasn't enough for him. Granted, his job was pretty boring, but it was more than that. He MISSED the hunt. He had a genuine desire to do it. Huh.
Another interesting thing...of the two of them, Dean was the one who had a hard time letting go of normal. He was the one who seemed more reluctant to give up the "apple pie" life--which really doesn't surprise me...but it was interesting to note that the writers played it this way. Especially given that Dean didn't have bad memories to send him running into the "safer" life. And yet again, he was willing to give it all up to do the right thing despite the cost to him.
Thatta boy, Dean!!!
Okay, so love that you noticed the parallels to Faith -- I didn't pick up on that until I read your comment, but as soon as I did I was like, "oh, yeah!"
And yet again, he was willing to give it all up to do the right thing despite the cost to him.
This is totally our boy, right? Right?! ;) I mean, seriously, I think that's what draws us close time and again.
Yay for new epi tomorrow!!!
And, YES, yay for a new epi!!!
I cant say much more to this review but WORD!!! :) Talk soon hopefully
"Hugs*
for two reasons:
1: I missed yer take on the show and especially YOU!
2: I totally agree with you! Loved the epi and not only as a great episode of my fav show but because it spoke to me on a very personal level too!
Then: *smacks gaelic across head* You're NOT made of failure! Or at least you're not alone in it. Heh. Life can be a b***h, RIGHT? (LOL)
OK. As usual, you did a great job in this review/recap. You do them so much better than me. I am lacking the words to express what I mean mostly and I end up reiteratin' and ramblin'. I will tell those who read mine to head over to your journal and see the real stuff... *envies gaelic*
The first thing I have to say about this episode is how much it spoke to me (see? reiterating already!). How much Zachariah's words meant to me. I needed the pep-talk as well as Dean. I mostly feel like a silly, messed up failure lately and the words just encouraged me to find the strength to face my issues. I love that about the show. I can relate to many of the boys' issues. Aside from the supernatural elements this show is about normal guys with normal issues...
And about Zachariah... I knew he was an angel from the get go. His name Adler is German and translates to eagle. So all I could see were feathers... By the way, wasn't he a little too emotional and humorous (making Dean eat salads and wear a tie, HILARIOUS) to be a normal angel?
I dunno if anyone already said it, but Sera Gamble wrote this one. She did a fine job. Liked it. Normally, all she does is make Sam cry and get naked (not that I'd complain)... But this time the whole epi revolved around Dean or both brothers. Nice job!
And the season 1 (and 2) vibes totally rocked. The ghost reminded me of Sanford Ellicott, too, as did the action scenes. The lines they spoke were so like the early seasons. Maybe they had to say them again to somehow walk/talk the path again that made them the hunters they are today.
Being a sucker for gore, I LOVED THE KILLINGS. Awesome, twisted and bloodthirsty. Nice contrast to the bright and colourful scenes too.
The boys were so much themselves even in this AU! More than lately with all the role reversal and demon-blood issues, the apocalypse... It felt like a nice break from all that, time to regroup for the final episodes... (geez. I am not sure I will survive the summer. The last episodes were awesome and I fear that the finale will rock even more and change the show forever... *bites bottom lip until blood surfaces*)
Did you notice how the colour changed when Zachariah touched Dean? That was some great photography...
I agree that Dean needed a "spanking" (hehe, love Ian). A wake up call. And Sam head to be there for exactly the reasons you mentioned. And for himself. He needed to be reminded of the basics of the life as a hunter, too. Hope, Sam learned a few things himself. But I don't think so. I fear he is going to go even darker...
That's it for today. Back to work... keep avoiding it... damn the "normality". I want to be a hero too!
Hugs ya, Ilka
And then go read yours and see how close it was. :)
You're right, it was definitely a nice break, but I just *know* the angst is still to come. It's too heavy and too much has happened for a simple "snap out of it" to fix EVERYTHING.
Still, it was good to take a breath. :)
And smashing the phone with the poker....loved smashing the phone with the poker...
I love love love that you came back and gave me this. Thank you. THANK YOU.
For once I did actually get it from the go get, well after seeing the two boys new lifestyles, the penny dropped, makes a change for me.
Dean, what can I say, suited and booted is just yummie, absolutely love a guy in well cut threads.
Jane :)
absolutely love a guy in well cut threads
See, the funny thing is, I'm more inclined to fall for the blue collar man, but this look of Dean's... whooo... boy. Shoot, just DEAN. :)
I started watching it and had a huge smile on my face - I love the Kinks (not necessarily that track though) and wow wasn't Dean beautiful in this!
I liked the 'feel' of the episode but to be honest I would have been much happier if it had been a Trickster again.
I’m worried that this is the end of Dean’s PTSD, and now he’ll be back to 'normal' when I was looking forward to lots more angst! How can 2 minutes talking to an angel – albeit a ' high up on the ladder' angel - cure 40 years in hell!!
After last weeks episode I expected so much more and was disappointed, I hope I'm wrong because how on earth could Dean get over what happened last week - just like that.
I suppose we'll find out soon enough, but, although this is not my least favourite episode by a long way, it's the first time I've really been disappointed. Probably after the enormity of last weeks eppy.
I did, however, feel a little better after reading this.
xx
xx
I’m worried that this is the end of Dean’s PTSD, and now he’ll be back to 'normal' when I was looking forward to lots more angst! How can 2 minutes talking to an angel – albeit a ' high up on the ladder' angel - cure 40 years in hell!!
I don't think this is the end of his PTSD. I really, really don't. I think you're right that 2 mins with an angel -- or 3 weeks living another life -- cannot cure the ramifications of 40 years in hell.
I think this epi, and perhaps the one coming up this week (not sure as I've only seen the previews attached to the last epi), is basically about pulling Dean enough out of the muck that he can shoulder the weight of the knowledge that his sacrifice to save his brother ended up resulting in the beginning of the apacolypse. I mean, dude, talk about heavy.
Plus, Sam still doesn't know that (as far as we know) and Dean doesn't know about Sam's blood addiction, and Lillith is still on the loose and... yeah, I think that there is definitely some angst still to come.
Bring it on. :)
I'm sure your right - there's a lot more angst to come - bring it on :)
Do you think Sam's "I know you.", so similar to what he said in Fresh Blood, will help remind him of how he used to worship his big brother? Maybe Sam'll remember how much of a hero Dean is and possibly (I hope, I hope) even be able to give Dean some much needed adoration again. That's my biggest hope for the outcome of this episode. I somehow knew Dean wouldn't lay down and die, even with all of this new weight that's been laid on him. I'm just glad we got to see the flash of fire in is eyes at the end.
I loved this episode! It was like S1 all over again and I've missed these boys so much! It was good to see them again.
Oh, girl, you know it. My toes curl every time he does that.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! I'm glad the ramble worked for you. Sometimes I think I write them way too fast, but I can't ever seem to stop myself!
See you after tomorrow!!
Okay, so first -- never feel you have to apologize for not agreeing with me. Silly. All are welcome. And here's the thing about these rambles. I probably have said this before, so forgive me, but I literally write them write after the credits roll so there's not a lot of time to assimilate and think. You are literally getting stream of consciousness in it's rarest form.
And it's thoughts like yours that make me feel like I should maybe sometimes think about stepping back and soaking it in a bit because sometimes I do change my mind.
I haven't changed my mind about this one with the exception of one thing -- and you helped articulate that for me. I still think that Zach's "pep talk" was what Dean needed to hear in that moment. He needed to want to strike back at the arrogant "higher being" to realize that he still COULD strike back. That he wasn't beaten down. That he was stronger than he maybe felt after getting out of the hospital.
But, the thing that I pull back on when looking back is the "Daddy issues" thing. Everything else I could shrug off but that stung. It stung even in the moment, but I swept past it in my excitement to say "hey! I can breathe!" at the end of an episode.
Shrugging off the weight that has been on Dean's heart for so very long when it comes to John -- even well before John died, I'm talking from the time Dean was cognizant of the broken man that was his father -- with a snide "Daddy issues" comment got to me a bit. It was the one thing that made my lip curl with what Zach said.
I am so with you -- Jensen, man, he is unbelievable. Oh, you should check out wolfpup's livejournal for some AMAZING LA Con pics. Jensen just blows me away. Seriously. His way of bringing a character to life has ruined me for pretty much everyone else. There are good actors out there, but they just... dim... somehow for me.
And I don't "put up with" your thoughts. Postive or not, they are YOUR thoughts and therefore valued and valid and I thank you for trusting me with them as you comment. :)
See you after tomorrow. Right?
"He needed to want to strike back at the arrogant "higher being" to realize that he still COULD strike back. That he wasn't beaten down. That he was stronger than he maybe felt after getting out of the hospital."
I agree that this is what will come out of it and YAY SO MUCH for this, but I am tired of seeing everyone hurt this good, good man, DAMN IT!-even these effing angels who are supposed to be doing God's work! Guess it's all in the methodology, huh? LOL! I have been re-watching almost every day because this is one of those episodes like Mystery Spot, I think-they require a lot of deep thought and on first viewing(at least for me) can seem confusing which, again for me, leads to frustration; and being the totally impatient, need-answers-now kind of person that I am-an initial dislike(my saving grace, IMHO, in instances like this, being at least I am aware of stuff like this about myself and have learned not too pass judgement too quickly-LOL!) Do you know I am still puzzling over things from Mystery Spot and yet it has become one of my favorite eps. Upon re-watching this one, the other thing that I am puzzling over is Sam's apparent "joy" in the life. I realize that this is a role-reversal episode, but that underneath they are still the same, which is why that whole "I've never had so much fun in my life." "Me neither." exchange just felt wrong to me. That Sam was not happy or satisfied with the life he was living and felt he was destined for something better was clearly him still being the same underneath, but I am wondering if the "joy" he was getting out of it wasn't more a part of Dean's wishful thinking within this angel-reality that may also be part and parcel of a "Dean dreamscape" that these angels seem to like visiting our boy in, as they have before(In The Beginning and Heaven and Hell). This episode as purely a Dean Dream would also explain why we didn't get a Returning Memory Sam, too. And now, that I think of it, the whole feeling of reality bleeding through w/ Dean's obvious anger at Sam's labeling him a "corporate douchebag" follwed up by that "You don't know me, pal. You should go." in that last scene of them together and then Sam's anger in his beating up of the phone being Dean's wake-up call as to why Sam is REALLY hunting-at least at this point in reality. I am curious to see what they will show us concerning these things in this week's ep, but it would work better for me as strictly a Dean dream continuity-wise regarding Sam. In trying to make sense of this one, I also read Bardicvoice's LJ entry this week and she had great allusions to a "building bridges" type thing that she took note of and that I found interesting and that I could go into if I had more time, but alas I don't. If you have a chance check out the meta part of her LJ entry.
I would disagree with her only in that she felt Sam's message in this one was that HE neeeded to be the bridge builder, whereas I have always felt that in the family context, this was Dean's role, and that this dream was maybe just a reminder of that. His brother is lost and needs the "bridgebuilder of the family" to build him a bridge "home". Hope some of this made sense in some way. I will MOST DEFINITELY be back after tomorrow's ep-sometimes it takes me a while, but as I said before-Yours is a MUST-READ for me now, Sweet! Thanks again for the kind words!*more hugs*
Forgot to add that I DID have a chance to check out her pics and seriously...no words...for the skill of the photographer and for the beauty of her subject...just amazing. He is SO WONDERFULLY EXPRESSIVE and she captures it so beautifully...must go back and leave her a comment. Thanks for reminding me. :)
Especially of his boots. Who knew I had a boot kink?