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heart and soul

I’m writing this first part before The Viewing. I wanted to be able to thank you all with a clear head—and even unspoiled I can pretty much guarantee you I won’t be clear enough to do that when 9pm CT rolls around. Writing these episodic rambles has been a joy...and a burden. There are times I reach the end of the day and want to just watch. And there are times I can’t help myself; I have to react. But regardless of either case, those of you who have commented—either here on my LiveJournal, or on other sites where the review is posted, or via a PM just letting me know you read—have truly touched me.

Offering your thoughts in this forum—whether or not you agree with me or with the others that comment—is a gift. It’s a gift of your time to me and a gift to everyone else who reads of your viewpoint. And I want you to know that I am grateful for it. Some people have faded as the season has progressed—and I miss hearing from you. But I completely understand why. I just want each of you to ‘hear’ that knowing you read makes the effort of writing these with each episode so very much worth it.

*BIG GROUP HUG*

Okay, enough with the chic-flick moment. I’m off to watch and then Ramble On!

 

*has trembling hands, a lump in throat, and still-teary eyes*

I came in here to write and saw this in an email from a good friend and fellow fan who also lives here in Lawrence: “I feel like someone ran me over, wrung me out, tossed me in the dryer, stomped on my chest, and then tossed me off a ten story building. Good. Grief.”

Um…yes.

This one is gonna be long, ya’ll. And there will be tears as I go.

I don’t think I’d been this worked up about an episode since the Season 2 premiere. There was so much riding on this. So much had been built up, cranked up, offered to us…. We’ve been led and teased, pushed and pulled…. Many have followed, some willingly, some begrudgingly. But here we all are. I sat down to watch, pillow pulled up against my chest even before The Vampire Diaries had ended because I just knew…I knew.

This was going to gut me. And so help me, I was going to enjoy it. I don’t want to think too long about what that says about me.

Even though I worked to be unspoiled, there were still comments dropped and insinuations made in conversation or by accident that had me 1) worrying for the fate of Cas or Bobby and 2) convinced that something awful was going to happen to the Impala. The only thing that kept me from worrying too much about the fact that the unspoken catch to Sam’s Big Idea meant that he would be going in the cage with Lucifer was the fact that we’ve been green-lit for a Season 6 and both actors have signed on to be a part of it.

Okay, folks, does Kripke know us or what? When he opened The Road So Far with Carry On My Wayward Son, I literally whooped. I’m talking hands in the air, face-splitting grin, yee-haw, whooping. My husband simply cocked an eyebrow at me and put on his Boze Earphones to block out all sound and leave me in peace with my heroes. The song took us through a recap of Season 5 and manMAN what a whirlwind this has been. This whole story. This whole journey.

When The Prophet Chuck’s voice came on, narrating as we saw a grainy, 60’s-era film of an engine being dropped into the chasse of a classic, American-built automobile, I took a breath, brain clicking. He talks about the Caprice rolling off the line on April 21, 1967, to great celebration. Then, three days later, another car is assembled and no one takes much notice. It’s our Impala.

And it turns out that this baby that we’ve lusted over (c’mon, like you haven’t), admired, mourned, cheered, written multitudes of fic about (the throaty roar of the engine, the familiar creak of the door hinges) is the most important object in this war.

My throat closed at those words, and it only got tighter from there.

The first owner was a Sal Moriarty. Which, I kinda had to grin at that name because whenever I hear Moriarty I think Sherlock Holmes. I have no idea if that has any meaning at all; I just thought I’d mention it. Sal drove around the country giving Bibles to the poor (with an Angel figurine hanging from the rear-view mirror) getting folks “right” for Judgment Day. Chuck’s voiceover mused that Sam and Dean don’t know that fact, but he was willing to bet if they did, they’d smile.

When Sal died, the Impala ended up in a used car lot in Lawrence, KS, where John ended up buying it on almost-but-not-quite-impulse. And that, Chuck says, is where our story begins.

I have to confess that in that moment, my heart cried. I really fell for the red herring bread crumbs that had been tossed our way that something horrible was going to happen to the Impala. I couldn’t exactly figure out what…I just…I was actually sadder at the thought of this episode ending with the Impala destroyed than I was with the thought of Bobby dead.

I know. What is wrong with me?

And we have Dean in the leather jacket, walking out to Sam sitting on the hood of the Impala. Dean. In the leather jacket. I don’t know if it’s because we haven’t seen it in so long or what, but good GOD he looked amazing. Just…kick me in the gut amazing. For a moment, all I could think was I’m not going to see him all summer….

*shakes self*

Anyway, Dean snags a beer from their beat up old green cooler, and Sam’s all, “What’s going on?” Dean tells him that he’s in with the whole “up with Satan.”

Sam: “You’re gonna let me say yes?”

Dean: “No. That’s the thing. It’s not on me to let you do anything. You’re an–overgrown—man. If this is what you want, I’ll back your play.”

There you have it, folks. The whole struggle at the beginning of the season, the time apart, the coming back together with the argument that Sam is his own person and Dean needs to start seeing him that way, comes full circle in this reluctant acceptance speech.

Sam: “That’s the last thing I thought you’d ever say.”

Dean: “It might be.”

Heh.

Dean: “Not gonna lie to you. Goes against every fiber I got. Watchin’ out for you—it’s been my job. It’s who I am. But you’re not a kid anymore. I can’t keep treating you like one. Maybe I got to grow up a little, too.”

Oh, how I ached when he said that. There is nothing harder in life than letting go. I will stand by that statement. It’s my whole struggle with faith. To let go? To trust like that? To have that kind of faith? Takes an insurmountable kind of strength.

Dean: “I don’t know if we’ve got a snowballs chance—but if anyone can do it, it’s you.”

Those were exactly the words Sam needed to hear. You could see it crawl across his face—a surge of relief chased by fear. A kind of: This is what I said I wanted…his faith…did I know what I was asking for?

Sam tells his brother that he let him out; he has to be the one to put him back in. And it’s fitting. It’s full-circle. I didn’t WANT it to happen. I didn’t want to see Sam say yes and see him play Lucifer again. I didn’t want any of this, really. But only because I love these characters. As a story, it’s really fitting. The only thing that tripped me up was the stress from Season 4 that only the righteous man who started it could finish it.

I’m not sure if perhaps I missed something there, or if maybe it’s just not well and truly finished. Or if there was an interpretation of “finish” that I didn’t apply. I had been going with the theory that Dean was the righteous man who broke in Hell and broke the first seal, which meant that Dean was the only one to truly “finish it.” But perhaps finish it didn’t mean “kill Lucifer” or “stop Lucifer” or “keep Michael from fighting his brother” or any of those things. Perhaps “finish” simply meant “prevent the world from ending.”

Which…he did.

Just before we part from the brothers, the camera pulls up and we get a gorgeous long shot of the two of them leaning on the Impala as she sits midst the bodies of dozens and dozens of other cars in various stages of disrepair. It’s rather a gorgeous shot, that. And held some sweetness in it.

But, the next thing we see is a totally squick-inducing shot of a couple of demons hanging above a Devil’s Trap by their heels, their blood filling like…four gallon jugs. Gack. Apparently Bobby had known where some demons were holed up and Team Free Will kicked in the door and got all the “go juice Sammy can drink.”

Dean’s trying to be nonchalant as he talks with Bobby, acknowledging that no, he’s not okay, but that’s not really gonna chance anytime soon is it, so let’s figure out our next step. Bobby goes over some different locations with random omens and Detroit’s on the list. Dean’s like, that’s where he is. Bobby throws in the doubt card, but Dean’s sure.

A glance at Sam and the kid is NERVOUS. The air around him fairly shimmers from it. I think my gut tightened into a knot in that moment to add to the physical tension this episode worked up inside of me. In the Impala, Cas is asleep in the back, the boys in the front.

Sam comments that Angels don’t sleep. Well… we already knew Cas had been essentially humanized. However, Cas’ zzz’s give the boys a chance to talk some stuff out they hadn’t addressed yet.

Dean: “Sam, I got a bad feeling about this.”

This is truly the most classic Star Wars line ever. For me, it’s better than “May the Force Be With You.” Mainly because it is always such an understatement—but also because Han used it and he didn’t have the benefit of the Force.

Sam: “You’d be nuts to have a good feeling.”

Heh. Dean has big doubts about Detroit and thinks the Devil knows more than they think he knows. Sam says they just have to hope that he doesn’t know about the rings. Which…right then you knew he was going to. Dammit.

Sam: “On that note, there’s something I gotta talk to you about.”

For one split second, I thought he was going to bring up the amulet. I really, really thought that might come into play with this episode. I haven’t actually given up hope that it won’t in Season 6, but I’ll tell you about those thoughts later.

Sam: “This thing goes our way, and I triple Lindy (huh?) into that box, you know I’m not coming back.”

Dean: “Yeah, I’m aware.” Too, too calm, that reply.

Sam: “You gotta promise me something.”

Dean: “Anything.”

Gaelic: Oh, God….

Sam: “You gotta promise not to bring me back.”

OUCH.

Dean: “What? No, I didn’t sign up for that. Your Hell is going to make my tour look like Graceland.”

Sam says something about it being too risky, but my ears were ringing a bit with the implications and the repercussions and the memories.

Dean: “I’m not gonna let you rot in there.”

Sam: “You don’t have a choice.”

Dean: “You can’t ask me to do this.”

Sam: “I’m sorry, Dean. You have to.”

Oh, God. This hurt, ya’ll. Because you heard both sides with ringing clarity. Both of them had been where the other one now sat. Dean, facing Hell, asked Sam to live his life. Sam, facing his brother’s imminent demise having to promise to NOT do what he ultimately spent the whole time Dean was in Hell trying to do.

I’m not even going to worry about any of the inevitable thought lines out there that when Dean was in Hell, Sam was destroyed and he didn’t give up and he searched for a way to bring him back, but at the end of this episode we didn’t get the same indication from Dean. It’s a totally different situation in my mind, and so much has happened to the two of them between Dean’s death and Sam’s sacrifice…different times, different promises. That’s all.

Dean: “What am I supposed to do?”

This question was so weighted. It was the same one he asked of…God, or whoever was listening…as he sat with Sam’s dead body. Without Sam, without that job, without that purpose…he simply doesn’t know who he is, why he’s there. In his mind, in his heart, Dean is defined by what he thinks he can do for others, and without them—especially the one that has always counted the most—Dean is lost.

But Sam, God freakin’ bless him, knows this. He knows his brother better than anyone. And regardless of how absolutely terrified he has to be about what he’s about to do—not just say yes, but willingly fall into Hell—he knows he can’t just leave Dean to flounder lost and alone in the world. He knows that the only way he can be strong enough to do what he has to do is if he KNOWS Dean is in the world. And he also knows that in order for Dean to stay in the world, he has to give his brother a mission, an order…a promise.

Sam: “Find Lisa. Go live a normal, apple pie life. Promise me.”

Dean looks away and we see his profile, stoic, silent. *gut twists*

They’re in Detroit. Bobby (who was apparently following them in the Mystery Machine) spies two demons in an upper floor of a run-down looking apartment building above a Chinese Restaurant. Dean is NOT. HAPPY. As he strides past Bobby, declaring he knows the Devil is there, his face is so tense it looks like he’s going to break his jaw. His body language has me almost pulling away from him: Do not eff with me.

Bobby and Sam face each other and I felt tears build.

Bobby: “See you around, kid.”

Sam: “Yeah, see you around.”

They hug, and a tear fell. I didn’t even bother to wipe it away.

Bobby (voice thick with emotion and choked as he tries to be firm, tough): “You fight him tooth and nail. Keep swinging. Don’t give an inch.”

Sam: “Yes, sir.”

Bobby turns away and Sam faces Cas with a hand out to shake. Gives him the whole, “Take care of these guys, okay?”

Cas, ever blunt, but this time with sad eyes full of regret, says: “That’s not possible.”

Sam: “Then humor me.”

Cas: “Oh! I’m supposed to lie…uh, sure! They’ll be fine!”

Guh. Even Cas’ clueless honesty wasn’t enough to crack a smile for me. I was just…gutted. Dean is at the trunk, waiting. Sam moves back there, then looks up at his brother, asking if he minds not watching. After a moment, Sam slams the trunk lid down (and he’s presumably drank all four gallons of blood…gack) and he’s all, “Let’s do this thing!”

He strides across the street, Dean at his heels, and bellows: “All right! We’re here, you sons of bitches! Come and get it!”

DemonGoons come out and Dean, ever cocky, says, “Hey Guys…is your father home?”

The demongoons haul them roughly up to where Lucifer is waiting.

And…we’re back to The Prophet Chuck’s Voice Over Designed To Kill Me as we see a shot of the Impala, looking lovely and powerful, her Ohio plates shining (though, I’ll never really accept them…I miss KAZ2Y5), sitting in a field. We get a shot of the weapon-filled trunk as Chuck talks about the things that she doesn’t have and the things that she does. And then he tells us about the stuff that’s important.

As he talks, we see shots of the boys as, well, boys. Little kids, playing with their toys. In their home. I always contended that the Impala was their home. I know I’m hardly the only one. I remember, though, when I was writing my first fanfic back in October of 2006 and I was drawing it to a close, I wanted them to be able to go home. After all I put them through, I just felt they needed a place to be them in a location that was uniquely theirs. And then, when those creaky doors opened inside my imagination, I realized…they already were.

Chuck’s V.O.: “The Army man that Sam crammed into the ashtray—it’s still stuck there. The leggos that Dean shoved into the vents…to this day, heat comes on, they can hear ‘em rattle.”

You see the boys carving their initials into the dash and I couldn’t help but think of my childhood home and the one stair—third from the bottom—that still creaks because my sister and I…well, let's just say there was some exploration that involved a hammer and a screwdriver. Or the footprints in paint on the back hall floor that my mom left there because my brother accidentally tracked them there when he was three. And now he’s 28 and it’s precious to see. Or the marks on the wall that measures how we grew over the years.

All the random things that just makes a place home.

Chuck: “These are the things that make her theirs. Really theirs.

There’s that heart-stopping shot of the semi slamming into the Impala and then a shot of the partially-built body of the car with Dean’s legs sticking out from under her.

Chuck: “Even when Dean rebuilt her form the ground up, he made sure all these things stayed. ‘Cause it’s the blemishes that make her beautiful.”

And just as he says that, there’s an amazing shot of grease-smeared Dean cranking something in the undercarriage. It’s wonderfully timed, I have to say. Because he was beautiful in that moment. Broken heart and all.

We switch to Lucifer breathing on the glass of the upper room.

Chuck: “The Devil doesn’t know or care what kind of car the boys drive….”

And then suddenly, I knew she was going to make it. I don’t know why that did it for me, and I still wasn’t sure the role she was going to play, but I knew it was going to be so much bigger than just destroying her. She was family and this whole thing has been all about family. From the very beginning. Brothers, sons…those that are tied by blood and those that aren’t.

Lucifer: “Sorry it’s so cold. Most people think I burn hot. It’s actually quite the opposite.”

Well…someone’s been reading their Dante.

Dean: “Well, I’ll alert the media.”

The exchange between the boys and Luci is…well, to say tense would be a significant understatement. Sam is practically vibrating he’s so revved up for this. He’s scared as all get out, but so freakin’ determined to do this right that he’s pale. Dean…he looks sick and angry and like he wants to throw Sam over his shoulder and run as far and fast as he can. But he holds himself completely, almost unnaturally still.

Lucifer is all, yeah, okay, so…why are you here?

Sam tells him that he wants to say yes. And then kills the two demongoons that hauled them in here. With his mind. *gulp*

Lucifer: “Chock-full of Ovaltine are we?”

Sam tells him that they get it, the fight’s gonna go down, they just want off this ride. So, make the deal of the century, save Dean, his family, and Sam’ll say yes. Lucifer is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know about the rings. *yipe!* Sam tries to deny it, but Lucifer isn’t buying it. With creepy calm, he walks between the brothers, doing that finger-tap thing that says, I’m thinking about this very seriously.

Lucifer: “A wrestling match inside your noggin. I like it. Just you and me. No tricks. You win, you jump in the hole. I win…well…I win. Fiddle of gold against your soul….”

I couldn’t help it…I started humming Devil Went Down To Georgia. Only, y’know, they were in Michigan, so, yeah that didn’t last.

Sam, low, to Dean: “So he knows. Doesn’t change anything.”

Dean, voice shaking: “Sam….”

Sam, very very determined: “We don’t have a choice.”

Dean, his voice breaking with the word: “No….”

Sam, to Lucifer: “Yes.”

I felt something kinda…tip inside of me at this. Like that first plummet when you’re riding a roller coaster. Up until this moment I wondered if they were going to get out of it somehow. If God might step in. If Dean might call down Michael. But then that brilliant light illuminated everything and Dean flinched and turned away and we were in it, boy. We were in the thick of it.

Sam and Nick are on the floor, out. Dean is breathing hard and anxious. He draws out the four rings and tosses them against a wall and starts to Latinate. Or maybe it was Enochian-ate. Or Aramaic-ate. Who knows. It’s the words given to him by Death to trap The Morning Star, the ultimate fallen angel, so they were pretty powerful. The wall cracks and sucks in and a vortex appears. Wind whips around Dean and he turns when he hears Sam stir.

Going to his brother, Dean helps Sam off the floor.

Sam: “Dean! I feel him!”

Dean holds Sam’s arm for a moment, then yells: “You gotta go now, Sammy!”

Sam walks to the vortex. And then his face goes utterly, completely calm. It’s 2014 Sam/Lucifer all over again. He turns to Dean, wind twisting around both of them, the vortex behind him and says, “I was just messing with you. Sammy’s long gone.”

Poof.

No wind, no vortex, no rings.

Dean looks…freaked, worried, tight…mad as Hell.

S/L: “I told you…this would always happen in Detroit.”

And then…no Sam.

Dean turns in a slow circle, hands to his head helplessly, tears in his eyes. Good. Freakin’. Lord. I needed a minute after that.

The next part was better than I thought it was going to be. I don’t mean for that to sound judgmental, but the truth is, watching Sam struggle inside himself with Lucifer wasn’t really The Battle I really waned to see. I think Jared did a fantastic job, though—it felt like there were two people having that conversation and not one man with himself. I am continually amazed by the paragraphs Jensen is able to speak with a subtle shift of expression in his eyes. But I don't often see the same in Jared. Tonight, though, this scene? He brought it. The Sam in the mirror was angry, desperate, crazed, fighting. The Sam/Lucifer on in the room was controlled, smug, convinced...hideous in his evilness. Nicely done. 

I am hopeful, though, that we’re done with Lucifer’s End Game. I’m hopeful that all of this your true nature is me bullshit that Luci was feeding Sam’s psyche is done and done. Nobody could go through what Sam’s been through all of his life, and what he went through tonight, and come out even close to normal.

If there’s hope for his character to stay interesting (at least to me), then he needs to be able to acknowledge this soul destruction and work to heal from it. Not have it brought up by entities more powerful than he is time and time and time again. Sam/Lucifer is in a room with a bunch of people…it’s unclear at first if they’re demons or captives, but I assumed demons. They aren’t moving. That don’t even look alive. Like wax figures, really.

Sam—our Sam—is in a broken reflection in a mirror. The conversation Lucifer has with Sam is done facing off with the mirror, and it was a clever tactic to keep you mindful of who it was that was speaking at a given time. Of course, Lucifer starts with the whole poor, misunderstood me tactic. Saying he’s not the bad guy, all that jazz.

Sam (seething): “I’m gonna rip you apart from the inside out.” Atta boy.

Lucifer: “Such anger, young Skywalker. Who are you really angry with? Me? Or that face in the mirror?”

*rolls eyes* It’s tired. Let it go already. Though, the Star Wars/Skywalker reference? Nice! Talk about coming full circle. Luke had to go Dark Side for a bit, too, remember.

Lucifer tells Sam that he’s been waiting for him for a long, long time and wants him to admit that he can feel the exhilaration of..joining…with him. That they’re two halves made whole. He says that his family was “foster care at best.” They weren’t his real family.

Sam: “That’s not true.”

I half expected him to follow that by saying that’s impossible…but that might’ve been taking the Star Wars thing a step too far.

Lucifer: “All those times you ran away, you weren’t running from them, you were running to me. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I let Dean live. I want him to live. I’ll bring back your folks. I want you to be happy, Sam.”

Sam: “I don’t want anything from you.”

I could totally feel Sam’s struggle here. Does this feel bad because it’s supposed to feel bad? Because you’ve always been told that it should feel bad? Or does it feel bad because it really and truly DOES? How can you trust your own gut, your own instincts when you have the devil crawling around inside your skin? How do you keep clear what’s YOU and what’s HIM?

Lucifer: “Not even a little payback?”

He tells him to look closely at the people in the room. It’s a grade school teacher Sam had. And a friend named Doug that he had when they were in East Lansing. And Rachel, his prom date. All Azaezal’s gang, watching him, herding him, shaping him since he was young. Lucifer suggests they…blow off a little steam together.

Meanwhile, Dean, Bobby, and Cas are watching news reports of the world falling apart. Dean’s twitchy, ready to figure out something to do next. Cas is all, let’s just drink ourselves into oblivion and wait for the blast wave.

Dean: “Thank you, Krokowski.” Huh? I didn’t get that one. “How do we stop it?”

Cas: “We don’t. Lucifer will meet Michael on the chosen field and the battle of Armageddon begins.”

Dean’s voice is shaking with need and fear and frustration: “There’s gotta be something we can do.”

Cas: “I’m sorry. It’s over.”

ARGH!

Dean: “We are not giving up!”

Bobby looks…shell-shocked. He looks at Dean and says that there was never much hope to begin with. He’s just…run out of ideas. Can’t blame him. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, after all. And he’s fought uphill all this way.

Dean, though, looks like he can’t believe this shit he’s hearing.

Next thing we know, Sam/Lucifer is sitting in the middle of…carnage. He looks over at his reflection and our Sam is panting and looking…guilty and afraid.

Lucifer: “Are we having fun yet?”

*gulp*

And then Chuck decides to completely rip out our hearts by showing our boys in 'better' times. Our boys, too. Not little kids depicting who they were. We see Sam (with SHORT, cute hair) grinning at Dean as they played pool. Multiple, gorgeous shots of the Impala on the road. And over it all, Chuck’s voice.

Chuck: “In between jobs, Sam and Dean might get a day or a week and spend the time lining their pockets. Sam used to insist on honest work, but now he hustles pool like his brother….”

Seriously, how could you NOT love these guys? I ask you? I DEFY anyone to watch this section and the Greatest Hits section that comes later and not fall so hard for them you break something when you land.

“They could go anywhere, do anything. They’d drive 1,000 miles for an Ozzy show. Two days for a Jayhawk game.”

*pauses to shout: ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK GO K.U.!!!*

I just have to say that I love love LOVE that they slid that in there. I mean, they’re from Lawrence, after all. You can’t be from Lawrence and not go buckets of crazy over the Jayhawks. It’s…required.

“They would sit on the hood and watch the stars for hours…without saying a word.”

Gorgeous shot of a night sky shot-through with starlight and our boys doing just that while sipping a beer.

“It never occurred to them that, sure, they never had a roof and four walls, but they were never, in fact, homeless.”

OH, boys. Kripke said way back when this started that this was a story about family. And along the way, he redefined that word. For all of us. Because somehow? He made fictional characters family to us. And he made a car family to them.

Chuck’s phone rings and he picks up, answering: “Mistress Magda?” Um, no. It’s Dean.

Dean: “Whatever happened to Becky?”

Chuck: “I had…too much respect for her.”

Dean: “You really got a whole virgin/hooker thing going.”

Chuck: “This can’t be why you called.”

Dean’s sitting in the Impala, alone. And it was the saddest thing I’d seen in a long time. He tells Chuck about Sam saying yes, and Chuck, of course, knows. Dean wants to know where the fight’s going down—which, great idea, that! I wouldn’t have thought “ask Chuck” if they hadn’t led me right to the obvious answer—and Chuck says the Angels are keeping it on the downlow, but he saw it anyway. One of the perks of being a prophet.

Okay…I’ve said before that I didn’t know anything about fanfic or fandom or fananything prior to the end of the first season. That was when I first discovered this world. Sometime just before the 2nd season started, I saw a place on TVGuide.com where you could submit questions to Kripke and he’d answer some of them. I took a chance—I didn’t think he’d answer mine, but he did.

I wrote in that I was initially caught by the show because it originated in Lawrence, KS, where I lived. I figured that the creator of the show had to be from Lawrence, because it’s such a small, non-descript town I couldn’t figure any other reason to pick that as the character’s hometown. Then I saw that Kripke was from Akron, OH, so I wondered why he chose Lawrence.

He answered that he chose it because of Stull Cemetery—located right outside of Lawrence—and if I lived here, then I knew the urban legends associated with it. Well, sure…it’s another one of those requirements for living here. The actual cemetery itself is run-down, the church isn’t even standing anymore because so many people over so many years have graffitied the crap out of it. The tombstones are barely there, really. But the place is still creepy as hell, no pun intended. And for the first Kazcon (fan-run convention here in Lawrence), people got to go there on a tour.

So…when Chuck told Dean that the fight was going down the next day, high noon, at Stull, my first thought was basically, “Son of a bitch! Kripke really did have a five year plan!” My second thought was that Dean had a helluva long drive ahead of him to get from Detroit to Lawrence.

Dean is at the Impala and Bobby and Cas are walking toward him looking world-weary and cautious. Bobby says he knows Dean is going to go do something stupid. He has that look.

Dean: “I’m gonna go talk to Sam.”

Gaelic: YES!

Bobby: “You just don’t give up….”

Gaelic: Hell no, he doesn’t!

Dean: “It’s Sam.”

He puts twenty-eight years of worry and pride into the way he says that name.

Cas: “You couldn’t reach him here; you’re certainly not going to be able to do so on the battlefield.”

Gaelic: Argh! Cas! Either help him or leave him alone!

Dean: “Well, if we’ve already lost, then I got nothing to lose, right?”

Cas: “The only think you’re going to see out there is Michael killing your brother.”

Dean’s face doesn’t shift. It doesn’t change. It stays stone-solid and determined. But his eyes…his eyes are wrecked. “Well, then I ain’t gonna let him die alone.”

Gaelic: *SOB*

Bobby takes a breath and shares a look with Cas.

And then we’re at (a very fake-looking, but nicely run-down) Stull. This first part was pretty much my least favorite of the whole amazing episode. Sam/Lucifer facing off with Adam/Michael. Yep! Michael chose Adam, and Adam was there, ready to throw down with his brother. I was beyond struggling with the but but but what about what you said here and here and here. I kinda reached a whatever, Show. I'll go with it. It was what it was, and this is the path they’d taken with the story, and my heart was already trashed five ways from Sunday and it wasn’t over yet and I didn’t know what they were going to do to everyone and so if Adam was here, Adam was here.

So be it.

Lucifer and Michael use their chosen vessels to have themselves a bit of a reunion chat, though. About how it’s been awhile and neither can believe it’s finally here. And they don’t have to do this, oh wait, yes they do it’s their destiny. Lucifer tries again with the “It’s not my fault” argument. God made everything and that means God made Lucifer who he was…he needed the devil…blah blah blah.

It’s not that I didn’t think the performances weren’t good—they were. Sam-the-vessel was very compelling and Adam-as-Michael was…fine. It’s just that enough already, Lucifer. I didn’t buy for ONE SECOND that if Michael had said, “yeah, okay, let’s just not do this” Lucifer would have walked away. It was all just more of his ploys to win, to distracted, to disarm. He could never fight clean and fair.

They overlaid the fact that Michael was “the good son” and had to obey and Lucifer told him that he didn’t have to always follow orders—echoing previous struggles between Dean and Sam and their exact same roles with John. Illustrating the point that these forces have been at work in the lives of these two from the word ‘go.’ Michael tells Lucifer that he’s a monster, and Michael has to kill him. Lucifer is all, “If that’s the way it’s gotta be, I’d like to see you try.”

They start circling each other like a pair of Alpha Males, tensing up, readying for the throw down.

And then…THE MOST AWESOME MOMENT EVER!

The Impala’s engine roar’s, distracting and confusing the Angels, causing them to turn to the entrance where Dean sits behind the wheel of that beautiful, black, beast. He shoves a cassette into the tape deck…and Def Freakin’ Leppard’s Rock of Ages blasts out from the speakers. Fanfriggintastic. Though, in retrospect, if they were going to go with Def Leppard...Armageddon It might've been more appropriate. But whatever! We had CLASSIC ROCK again!! :)

It was pretty much the only thing that slapped a grin across my tear-streaked face. Well, since the beginning montage, anyway. Dean exits and leans on the car, casually stating, “Howdy, boys. Am I interrupting something?”

Dean walks up to Sam/Lucifer and says, “We need to talk.”

S/L: “Dean, even for you, this is a whole new mountain of stupid.”

Dean: “I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to Sam.”

(How much do I love this guy???? THIS MUCH.)

Michael gets full-on pissy: “You have no right to be here!”

Dean: “Adam, if you’re in there, I’m so sorry.”

Michael: “Adam isn’t here right now.”

Dean: “Well, you’re next on my list, Buttercup, but right now I need five minutes with him.”

amyblair3  !!! Buttercup! That is all.

Michael advances on Dean: “You little maggot. You’re no longer a part of this story!”

And out of nowhere, Cas yells, “Hey! Ass-butt!!”

He throws a Molotov cocktail at Adam/Michael and with a high-pitched, painful scream, the Angel and vessel burn up and poof away. Everyone has ducked away and Dean looks over at Cas. “Ass-butt?”

Cas is panting a bit nervously: “He’ll be back.”

Sam/Lucifer, meanwhile is looking like, what the hell is going on here??? He looks at Cas with utter contempt: “Did you just Molotov my brother with Holy fire?”

Dean shoots Cas a nervous glance.

Cas kinda backs away and stammers, “Uhhh…nnnooo?”

Sam/Lucifer: “No one dicks with Michael but me.”

Spoken like a true brother, that. He snaps his fingers and before anyone has time to even gasp, Cas is…blown up. Not with flames or fire or anything like that. He’s just a bunch of bloody, meaty, goo. I did not see that coming. But…beloved character dead. Check! There’s blood all over Bobby’s face and he looks shell-shocked once more.

Dean looks back at Sam/Lucifer: “Sam, can you hear me?” His back is to the Impala.

Sam/Lucifer: “I tried to be nice for Sammy’s sake, but you are such a pain in my ass.”

He grabs Dean by the lapels, lifts him up, and throws him against the Impala so hard his back breaks the windshield. OUCH. Bobby shoots Sam/Lucifer. My heart dropped at that. S/L turns away from Dean, which was the intent I’m sure for Bobby shooting him, but then S/L twists his fingers and Bobby’s neck follows with a snap.

I gasped and covered my mouth. No amount of “I think Bobby’s gonna die” prepares you for ACTUALLY SEEING IT HAPPEN. And so…so fast.

Dean screams: “NO!”

S/L replies: “Yes.”

And then he drags Dean off the hood of the Impala and slams him back across it. Dean’s bleeding from the mouth and in a shaking voice looks at his brother and says, “Sammy? You in there?”

S/L: “Oh, he’s in here alright. He’s gonna feel the snap of your bones! Every single one! We’re gonna take our time!”

As he speaks he’s beating the ever-lovin’ CRAP out of Dean. I mean…broken nose, broken eye socket, blood streaming from all points of his face, only one eye barely open. In a destroyed voice, trembling from the impact of Lucifer’s fists, he says:
 
"Sammy…it’s okay. I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you. I’m not gonna leave you.”

That? Right there? *broken heart, tumbling onto the floor* It was everything to me. Every loose end, every convenient plot devise, every pulled-out-of-their-ass writing moment…none of it mattered to me because I watched for that. Not the beating (though, yeah, I do love my heroes overcoming brokenness), but those words. “I’m not gonna leave you.” Dean’s character. Being the only brother he knew how to be. That’s why I watch.

*shrug* Maybe I’m easy.

And then we see why the Prophet chose to write about the Impala as The Most Important Object. A glint of afternoon sun catching off the chrome and shines in Sam’s eyes and suddenly…they’re Sam’s eyes. And he’s seeing his reflection and he’s seeing into the car and he’s seeing the soldier jammed into the ashtray and suddenly we’re seeing a rush of moments from the last four seasons. It’s like the Winchester Brother’s Greatest Hits. It choked me up and made me rub my heart. It was all moments of them. Sam and Dean. Laughing fighting living…pranks and near-misses, saves and smiles, shotgun blasts and graves dug...no one else, nothing else, just the brothers and it rushes to a close and ends with Dean pulling Sam in for a hug.

Sam gains control and looks down and sees Dean beaten and broken and bloody. He lets go and Dean slides to the ground, leaning against the Impala. The Impala that he brought to this fray. The Impala that helped remind Sam about his true family. His brother. His home. And because of those memories he was able to wrestle control away from Satan.

Sam: “It’s okay, Dean. It’s gonna be okay. I’ve got him.”

He tosses down the rings, Latinates (or whatever) and the vortex opens in the middle of Stull Cemetery. As it always was supposed to. Sam looks at Dean and nods and Dean’s face is too broken to be readable, but his lips quiver as though he’s about to cry.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Adam/Michael is back saying, no, no, don’t do this, I have to fight my brother, it’s my destiny, blah blah blah. Sam surrenders, goes to fall back into the vortex and Michael grabs his arm and…they both fall in. So Michael is stuck in the box, too. There’s a bright light and the hole closes and Dean rolls his head away, beaten and heartbroken.

But…they won. Dean chose the world over his brother’s life. Well, rather, he chose to back Sam as SAM chose the world over his own life. And they saved everyone. Well...almost everyone. Bobby and Cas were...gone. Had they ended it there, it would have been tragic and poetic and fitting and right and would have folded my soul in on itself. But…there’s another season. So there were some adjustments to be made to our players. Because at that moment, the last one standing wasn't really standing at all and was so beaten he might not have been standing for long.

Dean is kneeling over the place where Sam fell in, holding the rings. And suddenly Cas is there. Raised, once more, by God. Not only alive, but new and improved, apparently. My wish was granted—he’s an angel again. He heals Dean, heals Bobby (much to the older hunters shock and awe), tells Dean that no, he’s not God. But thanks for the compliment. And...they leave the battlefield.

He and Dean are in the Impala and Cas is saying the he’ll return to Heaven because now that Michaels in the cage with Lucifer, it was total anarchy up there. Dean is…angry. Says Cas is God’s bitch again. Cas points out that God helped. Maybe more than they realize.

Dean: “Easy for you to say. He brought you back. What about Sam? What about me? Where’s my grand prize? All I got is my brother in a hole!”

Cas reminds him: “You got what you asked for, Dean. No paradise, no Hell, just more of the same. Which would you rather have—peace or freedom?”

Guh…always with the sucky choices. Is it truly impossible to have both? A life without pain, a possibility for companionship, and his brother safe and sound? Why is that too much to ask for him? Will Dean ever really get to be happy? Get to be at peace? Is he destined to forever struggle and fight and climb and work?

With those words, Cas poofs out of there and Dean grumbles about him sucking at goodbyes. And then…we come to our end. Which I know will leave a significant portion of people disgruntled, but I have to say…I didn’t mind it. Not really one bit. I felt it wrapped up this story the only way it could, the only way they designed it to. They didn’t kill the devil, they didn’t destroy Michael. They trapped them both—because both still have to be in the universe for there to be any hope for balance.

And, as Chuck so eloquently rambled himself: “Endings are hard. You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There’s always gonna be holes. And since it’s the ending, it’s all supposed to add up to something.”

Bobby and Dean hug goodbye and Dean has tears on his face. Chuck lets us know that this is the last time Dean and Bobby will see each other for a very long time—and that Bobby will be hunting a rugaru outside of Dayton next week. So, we go into Season 6 with a big unknown for Bobby—the status of his soul. Does Crowley still have it? Is he trapped in a 10 year deal? How’s that gonna play out?

And, according to Chuck, and echoing with truth in my gut, every part of Dean wants to die or bring Sam back. But he’s not gonna do either. Because he made a promise. More or less. We didn't actually hear it, but it was implied and I got the impression that it wasn't something Sam was going to let go with just Dean's usual avoidance tactic. So...he extracted that promise. We just didn't see it.

He goes to Lisa’s house and she breathes this sigh of relief that makes me love her for him.

Lisa: “Thank God. Are you all right?”

Dean (voice cracking): “If it’s not too late (on so many levels), I think I’d like to take you up on that beer.”

She invites him in and just wraps her arms around him and holds him tight while he buries his face into her shoulder, tucking up against her neck, and she comforts him by whispering that it’s going to be okay.

Chuck is sipping whiskey as he puts the finishing touches on his Swan Song. He says that this has all been a test for Sam and Dean…that they stood up to the test and made their own choice: they chose family. And really, isn’t that kinda the whole point?

Then, with this funny little secret smile, he says, “Nothing ever really ends….” And poof. He disappears.

Chuck as…God. Huh. Not something I thought of. Not once. But looking back…thinking about an ArchAngel living the life of a Trickster…thinking about Joshua saying God was on Earth…thinking about everything The Prophet knew…in way, it kinda makes sense. Or, I’ll let it make sense if that’s the direction they’re going.

‘Cause when it comes down to it, I just want to be entertained. I’m not looking for a new gospel. I’m not looking for a cause. I’m not looking for a manifestation of my own personal belief system. I just want a hero who is real and who is broken and who never stops fighting and who loves and who hates and who lives and bleeds and despairs and rejoices and gets dirty and cleans up and looks good doing every single one of those things. I want the escape and I want to fall in love each week and I want to be inspired.

And I have been. I have been 100 times over.

So, if the prophet is/was God? I’m good with that. Because he made it so that people were healed and people could go on…and people returned from Hell.

We see Dean at a table, looking pensive, sad, and just…so, so tired. A blur of Ben is facing him, and Lisa approaches from behind with food. She asks him if he’s okay and he’s offers her a half smile that doesn’t reach his eyes saying, “Yeah, I’m good.”

And…maybe he will be. One day. Maybe he’ll learn how to be okay without Sam. Maybe he’ll heal inside from the wounds and battle scars that his time back from Hell cut into his spirit. Maybe…but it’s not going to be for a long time.

We pull away from the house and see a streetlight that blows out, and standing beneath it…is Sam. Unmarked, whole. He’s looking in the window with an unreadable expression on his face. It’s hard to tell if it’s acceptance, contentment, satisfaction, or betrayal. He’s just not easy to read for me period—and even more so in this moment.

And we fade to black.

The thing I don’t like is that with that expression I was unsure if God saved Sam from Hell and kept Lucifer in the cage, or if Lucifer figured out how to exchange himself for Michael and is inside Sam. I don’t like that possibility. I want to be done with the devil and all of his tired woe-is-me-ness. Evil, fine. Demons, sure. Ghosts, werewolves, chupacabra, poltergeists, vampires, rugarus…whatever. Bring ‘em on. Just no more Satan. He’s a whiner.

So, here’s what I’m choosing to believe until I’m proven otherwise next September: it’s Sam standing there. Our Sam. He was saved or he escaped from Hell. We’ll find that out later. He was brought to Lisa's to show him that Dean was safe and was fulfilling the promise he made. And now Sam’s going to go on walk-about for awhile. Not tell his brother he’s alive. Let Dean live this apple-pie life, thinking that this is the only way Dean could have a chance at being happy.

He’s going to go be his own brand of hero for awhile. And it’s going to be part of the next season, them finding each other. Because even if Dean is tucked into Lisa now, so to speak, he can’t stop being what he was born to be: a hunter. He can’t ignore evil. And he’ll have to go out and find it just to keep it from finding him.

So…that’s what I got. I hope those of you who waded through this tome found something worthwhile in it. And I’d love to hear from you. Even if it’s to say that you think I’m full of crap. I’ll only cry a little bit. *wink* Thanks for helping to make this season an amazing ride, ya’ll.

As an FYI, the wonderful swordstress from sn.tv has asked me to write up a Season 5 reaction/recap that she can post on site she admins that discusses shows related to or stemming from Joss Whedon’s influence—and since some of the SPN crew have worked on Whedon’s shows, well, there’s a gap bridged. The site is: http://www.whedonage.com/index.php I’ll be posting it on my LJ, too. It won’t be for a few weeks, though.

In closing, to paraphrase The Princess Bride’s Dread Pirate Roberts: I do not envy us the summertime of no new episodes, but at least they’ll be back! So, in the meantime, rest well, and dream of heroic Winchesters!

Until next season…Slainte.



 


Comments

( 134 Tall Tales — Tell Me A Story )
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qultng1
May. 14th, 2010 07:47 am (UTC)
I'm still up. Guess there's not going to be any sleep for me tonight. Hee

I too whooped at the music at the beginning. It really was nice to have our music back.

I agree with absolutely everything you said.

I'm old, so I know this, the Caprice was the new awesome kid on the block and that's why everyone was excited. The Impala was introduced in 1958 so it was old news.

Dean's demeanor in the presence of Lucifer there with Sam had my heart pounding and my breath coming in gasps. He totally stole that scene for me. Guh!

I can't read Sam either. Just don't know.

The first words spoken in this house were when they went to Stull. Hubs said, "Does it look like it?" lol

Anyway, I feel the real ending if this had been the final season, would have Dean jumping into the hole with Sam.

As to what might happen next season, I'd come to the same conclusion that you did. It's Sam. God's back in the picture and he brought him back. Sam's going to walk away.

I really should try and get some sleep tonight, I guess.

Just wanted to thank you for your rambles and hope you keep it up next season. :)

*hugs*
gaelicspirit
May. 15th, 2010 03:52 pm (UTC)
I so wanted to reply to all of these comments yesterday, but time just folded around me. I'm sitting in the Denver Airport waiting out a layover until I get on another plane for CA (and working away from my girl and my guy *sad*) and thought I'd put the time to good use.

I LOVE that your hubs asked you if Stull looked like that. Hee. Noooooot quite.

Oh, and thanks for helping me with the spelling of Caprice. *blushes* I guess I spelled Lego wrong, too. Ah, well! That's what you get when you read a ramble, eh?

I do plan to keep this up next season. I mean, I don't know if/how I could stop at this point. Especially because I suspect next season will be the last. We'll see, though. My life has made a 180 on me in the last 4 months...from now until September? It's anyone's game. ;)

*HUGS you*

Thanks for being such a wonderful, warm, comforting prescense for me in this fandom. I meant what I said at Kazcon. You feel like family.
(no subject) - qultng1 - May. 16th, 2010 01:05 am (UTC) - Expand
crushinator67
May. 14th, 2010 07:58 am (UTC)
So, I have had no knowledge of your reviews until tonight, and actually stay far away from most reviews of show by fellow fans because I have this little Supernatural bubble in my head full of my own thoughts and interpretations and what I have read is full of so much bitching that it kind of upsets that bubble. Whew. (Sorry for the run-on sentence. The English major in me is cringing.)

Anyway, I stumbled across this tonight and can I just say how freaking refreshing it is for someone to have nice things to say?! I wasn't particularly happy with Adam being Micheal's vessel either, but I'm willing to overlook some crap as the awesome far out-weighs the not-awesome, and who can be awesome all the time?

I agree with you almost one hundred percent on this ep, except I do enjoy human Cas, and his inability to grasp sarcasm and the like makes me smile--and the stuff he does pick up even more so. At the end, when Lucy's all "Did you Molotov my brother?!" and he's all "Uh...nnnooooo" I loled. Because I have a sick sense of humor.

So, this is very long and drawn out, but I would just like to thank you again for not only continuing to watch and support the show, but for doing it because you still like it.
gaelicspirit
May. 15th, 2010 04:00 pm (UTC)
Well hi! And welcome! Though it's the last ramble of the Season, I'm happy to see you. :) If you have any interest in going back through previous write-ups, I have a "master post" in my links at the left of the page.

I'm totally with you in the SPN head-bubble. I suppose I'm a bit of a hypocrite: I don't read other reviews. Unless I'm asked to, or unless it's one of my close friends that I'm fairly certain shares a similar point of view. It's not because I don't want to see a different perspective -- I get that a lot with the comments to this ramble -- it's more that I don't want to feel bad about something I enjoy so thoroughly. :) So I feel ya!

I agree with you almost one hundred percent on this ep, except I do enjoy human Cas, and his inability to grasp sarcasm and the like makes me smile--and the stuff he does pick up even more so. At the end, when Lucy's all "Did you Molotov my brother?!" and he's all "Uh...nnnooooo" I loled. Because I have a sick sense of humor.

I really enjoy Cas' humor. In fact, in the last several episodes he's been the bright spot in the center of the SPN universe for me. His line in 5.21 about "not understanding your definition of good news" had me rolling for a few days after the episode ended.

My comment that I 'got my wish' and he was an angel again was stemming more from previous reviews where I was saying that I wanted him to be rewarded, renewed. Cas IS an angel. If he was to become human, I would want it to be by his choice to fall -- like Anna did -- and not because his angel-ness was...basicaly beaten out of him.

If/when we see him next year, I feel certain his humor will return with him (thank God). :)

Thank you so much for reading and taking time to comment. I hope to see you back next season!

Slainte.
amber1960
May. 14th, 2010 08:19 am (UTC)
I got towards the end of your ramble and found that we were spookily close in our feelings about season 6 direction! That is exactly how I saw that ending - setting up a season of bringing the brothers back together and reinstilling that lost purpose in Dean - maybe in a less dangerous co-dependency for both of them, but one that is no less strong.
I did a drabble this morning to that effect because I just wanted to write something, capture those first thoughts and it came out that way. I've only watched once (after 3 hours sleep I'm a bit emotionally wrought!) but still feeling teary. I'd love it if you were to read and let me know what you think - if I've captured something that speaks to you too.
Thank Chuck this episode fulfilled all the promise - yes there were holes, but like you say - our heroes came through, ready eventually to live and fight another day, and our world view in real life won't be changed by this.
It's going to be a long summer but I think FF will fill some of the holes in our hearts!
gaelicspirit
May. 15th, 2010 04:02 pm (UTC)
Hi you! I'll put your drabble on my 'to read' list. :) Thanks for the heads up! It's been such a crazy week that I haven't had time to take a deep breath, and I'm insanely determined to keep posting my WIP on a regular basis, so...yeah. *laugh*

I think it's really cool that we're of the same mind about this epi and what's to come next season! :) *mental fist bump*

I loved your "thank Chuck" comment. Had me cackling.

Long summer indeed. Hope to see you back here now and again before the next season comes our way!
(no subject) - amber1960 - May. 15th, 2010 07:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
cathy1967
May. 14th, 2010 08:57 am (UTC)
You're full of crap. ... NOT! Man, that episode gutted me and at the same time it was fitting and at the same time I didn't want it to end that way and at the same time ... guh!

I've got tons of theories bouncing around my head and not a one of them makes any frigging sense right now. I want to rewatch and I don't want to ever see that episode again. I want Dean to be happy, but something just balks at him living normal. I don't think he'll stay. He'll hang around for a bit, then realize he can't do this and get back on the road, try to find a way to get to Sam.

I have no idea if the end scene was Sam or Lucifer. I'm leaning toward ... because they've made such a big issue out of it ... that Sam with his anger issues is demon material. But ... if Chuck is God, then he wouldn't leave Sam and Adam in that cage with Lucifer and Michael. If Lucifer and Micheal are locked up together, will they fight it out or will they find a common path to get out of the cage?

GAHHHH! Okay ... I'm good. I think. I need to write something following this. I need to try and stop these ideas from bouncing off each other and creating utter chaos in my head. This is going to hurt if I don't stop it. :D

Anyway, like always I loved, loved, loved your view on this. You are so open-minded about this show and don't share the general consensus that they do this for us, hence they should do as we say. *tsk*

Can't wait for next season. I hope you'll be around to analyze every episode again. If not, I understand, but I would miss your insights into these characters.

Take care.
gaelicspirit
May. 15th, 2010 04:06 pm (UTC)
You're full of crap. ... NOT!

BWAH! Okay, I'll admit. That caught me a tad by surprise and then I laughed and laughed. :)

I'm leaning toward ... because they've made such a big issue out of it ... that Sam with his anger issues is demon material.

Oooo...interesting theory, that. It's Sam...but it's also...not. I'll chew on that a bit.

You are so open-minded about this show and don't share the general consensus that they do this for us, hence they should do as we say.

Thank you, and goodness no. This is for us only on some level. It's for us in as much as every book ever written is for us. But they're also for the author. And it's kismet when what the author writes for themselves and what we want to read for fulfillment of some kind meet on common ground.

That's why there's so many options out there, yes? I just love these characters and am rolling with the journey they travel.

I'm planning on coming back to ramble next season, but as I told Nana56 above, these last 4 months have done a 180 on me in my life, so between now and September, well, it's anyone's game.

Still, rambling on is indeed the plan. :)

Hope to see you 'round here now and again before then, though!
(no subject) - cathy1967 - May. 15th, 2010 08:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
spike247uk
May. 14th, 2010 09:13 am (UTC)
‘Cause when it comes down to it, I just want to be entertained. I’m not looking for a new gospel. I’m not looking for a cause. I’m not looking for a manifestation of my own personal belief system. I just want a hero who is real and who is broken and who never stops fighting and who loves and who hates and who lives and bleeds and despairs and rejoices and gets dirty and cleans up and looks good doing every single one of those things. I want the escape and I want to fall in love each week and I want to be inspired.

And I have been. I have been 100 times over.


this? is why I utterly adore you. You've managed to put into words how I felt throughout the past 5 seasons!!

I'm still not sure who was standing under that streetlight, but I definitely want season 6 to be free of the Lucifer arc, and be back to the MOTW that we had in season1.

Thank you so much for all the episode reviews that you've put so much effort into - I've loved reading every one and it's been so amazing to have someone else squeeing as hard as me over this show x

this summer is gonna be long, but thank god for livejournal :)
annie200
May. 14th, 2010 09:37 am (UTC)
Hi Gaelic,
Thanks for this, I'm struggling to get everything in proportion here..this is NOT RL but nevertheless I feel bereft.
Also, I have a funny feeling that the finale hasn't been rewritten to accommodate S6. This is always how it was going to go down and EK was going to leave the fans to decide what happened next. Those comments from Chuck about things not ending..huh???
So, I think that I'm pretty much in the same place i would have been, distraught and bemused except, thank God, S6 will come along and fill in the holes for me and I won't need to rely on my own paltry imagination. But I think, somehow, Sam has been returned whole, and I think we're over Gods and Demons, for which relief much thanks. (EK promised to finish the story arc and I DO trust him on this)and I'm guessing that there is going to be a period where the boys are without each other or that Dean is somehow seeking Sam and that will be the whole pared-down theme they're mentioning.
Need sleep now!Not sure this even makes sense!Got up at 4 to download!
Long, long 4 months to wait
(no subject) - gaelicspirit - May. 15th, 2010 04:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gaelicspirit - May. 15th, 2010 04:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
impala1967
May. 14th, 2010 09:27 am (UTC)
I agree with you, I think it is our Sammy under the light. Dean finally got the family he has always wanted. And we have to wait to see where S6 takes us and the boys. Will it last with no Kripke, remains to be seen. I could of happily ended it tonight with that episode but I suppose I'll have to see what Sera has up her sleeve :)
Had a chuckle at Def leppard and relived each flash back with kripke
gaelicspirit
May. 15th, 2010 04:17 pm (UTC)
Def Leppard rocks! Hysteria was worn out in my cassett deck when I was in High School. Heh.

I don't know about lasting w/out Kripke. I don't want them to turn our show into Smallville (no offense if you enjoy Smallville...). But I realized with the end of this season that I really wasn't ready to let them go, so we'll see what happens.

As for Dean getting the family he always wanted...I really see this as a temporary solace for him. He's too nomadic to 'settle down' for one, and for another, promise or no promise, I don't see him staying still while Sam is in Hell -- or while he thinks he is, anyway.

I think Dean needs desperately to rest and to be held and for someone to tell him it's going to be okay, but I dono't see him quieting down until he has satisfaction against what they were put through -- or until he knows Sam is at peace.

I'm going to speculate a bit about that in the recap thingy I'm going to post later.

Thank you again for reading and I hope to see you 'round here before next Season. :)
(Anonymous)
May. 14th, 2010 09:56 am (UTC)
The End... or is it?
Its 2:23am right now as I write. I just finished watching The Lovely Bones not that long ago(right after SN of course) and I've been crying. It seems all this talk of family, life, death, moving on, letting go and growing up all in one night got the best of me so because of that I can't seem to fall asleep so please forgive any weird sentences that I might write out.

I sat down to watch, pillow pulled up against my chest even before The Vampire Diaries had ended because I just knew…I knew
-I did the same thing. As soon it was 8:59pm, I grabbed my own red velvet pillow and laid across on my bed to watch. Its my life jacket. lol

Okay, folks, does Kripke know us or what? When he opened The Road So Far with Carry On My Wayward Son, I literally whooped.
-My stomach flipped and I was grinning from ear to ear. :D

You see the boys carving their initials into the dash and I couldn’t help but think of my childhood home.
- I carved my name and date into the window still of my 2nd home in Modesto when I first moved in because I felt after the longest time after my parents divorce, I finally felt AT HOME. And I was until we had to move... again. I hope my name is still there.

Dean turns in a slow circle, hands to his head helplessly, tears in his eyes. Good. Freakin’. Lord. I needed a minute after that.
-I actually saw that scene in the Space promo before the episode and my stomach just dropped. I was like, "Oh shit. Things aren't gonna go as planned." 0_o And guess what? Was right!

Ugh. Ditto to Lucifer's "woe is me, Daddy doesn't love me anymore," crap. Change the broken record dude. You ain't getting sympathy points from me.

my first thought was basically, “Son of a bitch! Kripke really did have a five year plan!”
-Aha! I knew it!!

You know the whole showdown between S/L and A/M didn't really do it for me. Don't get me wrong, both actors did good but I think it would've been more interesting and compelling if it was Dean instead of Adam but it didn't work out like that so what can you do?

He snaps his fingers and before anyone has time to even gasp, Cas is…blown up.... but then S/L twists his fingers and Bobby’s neck follows with a snap.
-I gasped out loud when Cas blew up. Brought the red pillow half way to my face and Dean pretty much vocalized what I was thinking when Bobby was killed because I had lost my use of making any coherent sentences when Sam disappeared in Detroit.

"Sammy…it’s okay. I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you. I’m not gonna leave you.”
-See that? That broke my heart. I was trying not to sob into my red pillow because... ew. lol

Our Sam. He was saved or he escaped from Hell. We’ll find that out later. He was brought to Lisa's to show him that Dean was safe and was fulfilling the promise he made. And now Sam’s going to go on walk-about for awhile. Not tell his brother he’s alive. Let Dean live this apple-pie life, thinking that this is the only way Dean could have a chance at being happy.
-I thought the exact same thing. I smiled a little when I saw Sam because I have a feeling that God brought him back and Sam's gonna stay away to give Dean to have normal life.

Its strange that I felt so calm before and after this finale. Not even the nay-sayers in the forums weren't getting to me. I just brushed it off. Don't know if its shock, some kind of numbness. *shrugs* Don't know. It wasn't until The Lovely Bones that I started to break down. I don't know what broke me. I guess it made me scared. Real life is scary. Growing up and making choices that affect the rest of your life is scary. Dying and not having enough time and leaving your family behind is scary. Its just scary. Okay. Its almost 3am and I guess stopped making sense a while back. lol

This episode concluded with hope from Sam as he looked to Dean at the end. The same one Susie Salmon wished for everyone. "I wish you a long and happy life."


~Crash_n_Burn

gaelicspirit
May. 15th, 2010 04:22 pm (UTC)
Re: The End... or is it?
Crash! Thank you, girl, for coming by and for always sharing your wonderful thoughts and viewpoint. I look forward to what you're going to say each week. :)

Its strange that I felt so calm before and after this finale. Not even the nay-sayers in the forums weren't getting to me. I just brushed it off.

Good for you! I'm totally letting the nay-sayers say nay and ignoring them. It's their opinion and it differs from mine and all is well. I just don't want to hear it. 'Cause yeah, my heart was broken, but I loved it. As sick and twisted as that sounds! ;)

As for The Lovely Bones...good gracious, girl. It's a wonder you could speak after that back-to-back. I read the book for book club last year and really enjoyed it. The movie, though...it didn't live up to the book on multiple levels and I was underwhelmed by Peter Jackson's trippy visualization of Heaven.

The thing that wrecked me about that story, though, was how easily it happened to her. Made me want to lock Mo Chuisle inside until she's 30. I immediately started devising my "stranger = danger" lesson. :)

Thanks for always coming by and for your words. I really hope I see you 'round here again before next season.
one_letter
May. 14th, 2010 10:04 am (UTC)
"when it comes down to it, I just want to be entertained. I’m not looking for a new gospel. I’m not looking for a cause. I’m not looking for a manifestation of my own personal belief system. I just want a hero who is real and who is broken and who never stops fighting and who loves and who hates and who lives and bleeds and despairs and rejoices and gets dirty and cleans up and looks good doing every single one of those things. I want the escape and I want to fall in love each week and I want to be inspired."

sob, THIS, sob.

We pick holes at, well, plot holes, because we can, not because it really matters.

Everything you just mentioned above, that is all we care about. That is all we want, that is all we need.

And our dear show gave it to us tonight in a way that made every single other aspect insignificant.
gaelicspirit
May. 15th, 2010 04:24 pm (UTC)
We pick holes at, well, plot holes, because we can, not because it really matters.

Yes, exactly! :) That's precisely why I loved what Chuck/Kripke said at the end about plot holes and wrapping it up and it all meaning something.

Endings are hard. And they hurt. But if nothing ended...then nothing could begin.

Thank you for coming by and for sharing your thoughts. Hope to see you again!
apieceofcake
May. 14th, 2010 10:31 am (UTC)
>> ‘Cause when it comes down to it, I just want to be entertained. I’m not looking for a new gospel. I’m not looking for a cause. I’m not looking for a manifestation of my own personal belief system. I just want a hero who is real and who is broken and who never stops fighting and who loves and who hates and who lives and bleeds and despairs and rejoices and gets dirty and cleans up and looks good doing every single one of those things. I want the escape and I want to fall in love each week and I want to be inspired.

And I have been. I have been 100 times over.


Yep, I love you! Coming here after watching has been my safe haven because we see things the same way, and you make me think about things deeper then I would otherwise. I've enjoyed your reviews , thank you ♥

xx.
gaelicspirit
May. 15th, 2010 04:25 pm (UTC)
*laugh*

I love you, too! I'm so, so happy this ramble/journal can be a safe haven for you. May it always and forever be.

Thank you for reading and taking time to comment. It helps fill back up my bank. :)

Looking forward to more of teh pretteh over on your journal. :)
saberivojo
May. 14th, 2010 10:54 am (UTC)
Thanks Gaelic. I feel sometimes like I am the only one in fandom still loving this show. It is not true, of course, but it feels like it sometimes. There are a few friends that I can go to who still squee like me and then there is you.

You squee too, but you kind of put it all in perspective as well, thanks for that.

If this is the way that Kripke wanted it to end, I can live with it. If the very ending with Sam still alive is a way to make Season 6 work? I'm okay with it. I am happy that we have a Season 6.

When Bobby died, I could not deal. For a long time, I have been saying to myself that Bobby dying would do me in. I don't know why his death would/does have such a profound effect on me. I mean, he is BOBBY and most wonderful but it isn't Sam or Dean so...But I don't/can't have John and this is about family. Sometimes, as much as I miss John, having Bobby around is almost better (bite your tongue- they are gonna revoke my John-girl license) because if family can be about a CAR. (and it should be) Then in can be about Uncle Bobby. And of course it can be about an angel in a trench coat too.

John was family because he was Dad, but Bobby is family even though he isn't.

Anyhow, thanks for the lovely post. I'm gonna re-watch today, see how it shakes out the second time around.

gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 12:31 am (UTC)
I'm glad to hear that I offer a bit of perspective. That means a lot coming from you. Thank you for saying that. I am always happy to see you come by and comment -- on these and on fic. :)

Re: Bobby. I physically reacted -- more from just the suddenness of it than the actual fact that he was GONE -- but I don't think it really hit me. I mean, I didn't even cry. But I think I was so focused on what was going on with Dean that my body was humming. And when Lucifer killed Cas so...violently, I think I mentally wrote Bobby off. I knew he wasn't going to make it. Thankfully I didn't have time to processes it -- Cas brought him back.

But it was one of those OMG moments that I won't soon forget.

Thank you for commenting. I mean that in my bones. :)
primrose_1
May. 14th, 2010 11:22 am (UTC)
I loved the episode. It didn't do everything I hoped for, but pretty close. All evening I had that happy/melancholy rainy day feeling. There's a quote I use for all stories that make me feel this way in the end- I may have used it on your stories, I don't remember. It's "the story was bitter and sweet all at once. It began like hello, and ended like goodbye." (of course you can steal it, it's from Jim Henson's Storyteller "Hans My Hedgehog") That's what I felt like. Bitter and sweet both at once. Like I'd said goodbye for awhile at least.

The face-off between Sam/Lucifer and Adam/Michael was actually really compelling to me, because I was picturing what it would have been if Dean had been standing there instead. The things that Adam/Michael was saying would have been BRUTAL if they had come from Dean's lips instead. I realized that it was like Michael was following a script, saying things that Dean had been destined to say, but a poor substitute was saying them instead. It took away the emotional impact and made the argument flat and ridiculous. I think that was the point. It was very well done. Even better when Dean drove in, following his own path, breaking with the whole "destiny" idea, and throwing it in everyone's face.

Chuck as God? Perfect. The author is the one who controls the story. He lays out the plot. And as every author knows very well, you create the characters but are always surprised when they take on a life of their own and do things their own way. You end up writing the story around what those made-up characters insist on doing. Very appropriate. And humorous too because it also intimates that Kripke is god- at least the god of the show.

I REALLY hoped that God would show up in the form of John and Jeffrey Dean Morgan. That maybe they could pull him away from his movie schedule just for the ONE SCENE. It was the fitting cap to the father issues for the boys. I am happy with the author thing, though. It was good.

I'm also happy with Lisa. That was what I wanted. I want her to be able to help heal broken Dean, and eventually get him to a point where he could maybe be happy. We'll see how much time they get :)

This has been so much fun! Thanks for discussing with me! It's been cool to talk about and debate ideas the show brought up. I have no idea where season 6 is going to take us, but I look forward to doing this again in a few months!
gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 12:53 am (UTC)
You have used that quote in reply to a story. I loved it then and I love it now and I totally, totally agree.

It took away the emotional impact and made the argument flat and ridiculous. I think that was the point. It was very well done.

Y'know I didn't look at it that way. That's really interesting. *is going to ponder*

This HAS been fun. All of it. All of the heartbreaking, gutwrenching moments and all of the laugh out loud moments. All of the pondering and discussions and different points of view. Thank you, my friend. Thanks for taking the ride with me.

I hope to see you back 'round here before Season 6...and then beyond.
borgmama1of5
May. 14th, 2010 12:06 pm (UTC)
Swore that I would not read anything SPN this morning because I have to go to work and I can't go with my eyes swollen from crying.

But then I saw you posted and had to read it.

You pretty much summed up exactly why this was wonderful...and why it broke me to pieces.

And now I am sobbing again, like I did for two hours last night after it was over.

I can't help it, I feel like my heart, like Dean's, is broken.
gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 01:03 am (UTC)
*HUGS you and your broken heart*

I'm so glad to see you here, though. This has been such a wild ride. And I'm so glad that you've been here with me. I've enjoyed your feedback and input and thoughts and musings. And I so hope I see you back next Season. Or, y'know, before that. :)
jerrys1girl
May. 14th, 2010 12:25 pm (UTC)
Gaelic!!! I love your rambles, and I think I will miss them just as much as I will miss the boys this summer. First off, as obsessed as I am about this show, I agree with everything you said about just wanting to be entertained and I don't expect the show to change the world. I don't always need or want to read reviews from people who agree with everthing I think, but I fundamentally love this show and the brothers, so if an episode or two (or more) is not what I hoped it would be, I write it off as a bust, look for the few moments of brilliance (they always exist) and move on - it won't ruin the entire experience for me. And this is why I like your rambles - mostly positive and thought provoking. Can't thank you enough!

As far as the finale goes, I LOVED IT for all the reasons you stated above. My favorite moment was when Dean said he didn't want Same to die alone - that killed me but it was so Dean. I really like Chuck as God (did not see that coming), and I want to go back and rewatch all the episodes that he was in to see if there were hints. I'm thinking in particular of his freak-out in his first appearance that "I must be God - a mean, capricious God, etc. etc." (so funny), or his moment with Sam when he admits to knowing about the demon blood and tells Sam "you gotta know that's wrong." That was one of my favorite scenes with Chuck because he really seemed to care about Sam and was trying to counsel him without being too pushy or judgmental, and looking back its so much more compelling now if it was God talking to him....

Another thing I liked was the acknowledgment that God was stronger than the angels. I'm a Christian, so this fits within my own view of the world - He was letting the story play out as a test of the various players (not just Sam and Dean, but the angels too I think), and in the end he fixed some of the collateral damage (Cas, Bobby and Same too I think). I don't necessarily think Sam is going to walk away, because I can't believe he thinks Dean will be happy. As much as Dean may want normal, Sam has to know that it will tear him apart for the rest of his life thinking that Sam is being tortured in Hell (just like it tore Sam up) and he'll never be truly happy, so I think he has to let him know he's out. In any event, I can't wait to see what they do next year.

Now, that was truly an incoherent ramble - thanks for sharing as always!
gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 01:21 am (UTC)
Thank you for thanking me! That was very nice to hear -- made me smile. :)

I don't necessarily think Sam is going to walk away, because I can't believe he thinks Dean will be happy.

I totally see your point -- especially the whole Dean not being happy while Sam is in hell aspect. But part of me can't help but think that Sam wouldn't necessarily see it that way. Part of me thinks that Sam's always been a little self-centered. Not selfish, but centered on how he sees things and how things affect him.

So, for him, having a 'normal' life -- an apple pie life -- would be happiness. He found it before (without his brother) and he would want Dean to have it. I don't know that it would occur to him that Dean simply can't be happy without Sam. Even though he did go nuts while Dean was in hell, I go back to that whole different situation, different brother thing.

I mean, Dean went to hell to save Sam and Sam had to watch him get torn up. Sam went to hell to save the world. And he made Dean promise to not come after him. So... anyway, I'm babbling. I have to pull together a bunch of these thinky thoughts for that Season 5 recap I am pulling together. Oy. Hopefully it makes sense...

Anyway, thank you for reading and commenting. I look forward to seeing you again!
(Anonymous)
May. 14th, 2010 12:30 pm (UTC)
I am off to Cinci today (Dayton next week, maybe I'll run into Bobby ;) *laugh*), but I had to come on and read your thoughts. Thank you so much for taking the time to write these. I'm always amazed that you sit down after an episode and crank out 8,000 words before bed.

I think I'm still in shock...so any intelligent reflection/speculation will have to wait for another day. But I think you summarized it best for me here:

""Sammy…it’s okay. I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you. I’m not gonna leave you.”

That? Right there? *broken heart, tumbling onto the floor* It was everything to me. Every loose end, every convenient plot devise, every pulled-out-of-their-ass writing moment…none of it mattered to me because I watched for that. Not the beating (though, yeah, I do love my heroes overcoming brokenness), but those words. “I’m not gonna leave you.” Dean’s character. Being the only brother he knew how to be. That’s why I watch."

Me too, sister. These two characters have my heart and I'm not gonna leave them either.

Take care. *hugs*

-SJ
gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 01:23 am (UTC)
Hi hi hi!!

Safe travels you sojourner, you. We need to catch up. And soon. I miss you like the beach misses the waves. Or maybe the waves miss the beach...either way, you get the idea.

Thank you for taking time to comment on this and letting me know it resonated with you. Means a lot to me.

*HUGS*
koontah
May. 14th, 2010 12:43 pm (UTC)
Swan Song
Thank you so much for recapping the ep. I saw it last night. My heart is broken and my emotional investment is shot. I miss Sam more than ever. But it really didn't hit me until I came home from work this morning (I work the night shift). and the tears just haven't stopped yet. Honestly, I've not felt quite this broken up over a character since the Transformers 1986 movie (I was 18) I'm going to be an emotional wreck all day. I keep thinking of Dean there with Lisa, living an honest 'normal' life. Really, Dean has way too much energy to be pacified and housebroken. But he's broken at this point. He's been through Hell and been through hell. He's lost his entire family. Emotionally, he's a wreck. I keep thinking how often he'd tell Sam how tired he was. Just absolutely worn out. War has a tendency to do that.
And then there's Zachariah's observation: hunting is in Dean's blood. Take him out of it and he'll find his way back every time. I hope that's true and not Zachy talking out his ass. And for the record, I don't think the Heaven the boys visited was Heaven. I like to think it was all -or mostly-Zachariah and I'd love to be the fly on the wall if or when God gets his proverbial hands on Mister Dicky. I could have fun with that one.
I'd love to see Cas drop in now and again. Dean can honestly say he has friends in high places ;) I'm WAY SO TEMPTED to write an AU... Dare I?
I miss Sam and I will pine for him all day, no matter how wonderful his death was. I cherished his innocence and it tore me apart as I watched him lose it through seasons 3 and 4. When Dean went to Hell, he inadvertently sent Sam into a private one. Just like Brady said: Sam was already going through hell there on Earth. The fact that Sam agreed shocked Dean. He could not save Sam from that kind of pain.
What I love most is that in the end, Dean ultimately saved Sam. He didn't keep Sam from the pit, he did not save Sam's life, but he saved Sam's soul.
And THAT is Winchester magic.
Time for bed.
gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 01:35 am (UTC)
Re: Swan Song
Thank you!! I'm so pleased you read and took time to comment. I totally hear you on being a wreck. Seriously. I couldn't reply to any comments yesterday (Friday after the show) because I was just spent. But, I also didn't want anyway to go too long without being recognized. :)

I keep thinking of Dean there with Lisa, living an honest 'normal' life. Really, Dean has way too much energy to be pacified and housebroken. But he's broken at this point. He's been through Hell and been through hell. He's lost his entire family. Emotionally, he's a wreck. I keep thinking how often he'd tell Sam how tired he was. Just absolutely worn out. War has a tendency to do that.

I agree. This is not an ending for Dean. It's a rest stop. It's his time to gather solace and rest and heal and regroup. He is a hunter. That's not going to change.

What I love most is that in the end, Dean ultimately saved Sam. He didn't keep Sam from the pit, he did not save Sam's life, but he saved Sam's soul.

I LOVE this. LOVE LOVE LOVE. *hugs you for saying this*

Thank you for coming by! :)
(Anonymous)
May. 14th, 2010 01:18 pm (UTC)
thanks
OK before I read and can't see past the tears that are coursing down my cheeks, I just wanted to let you know that even thought I don't make many comments anymore, I'm still here reading your review every week and enjoying your stories.
Thank you so much for what you do. You've touched so many people by sharing your heart and mind.

I also wanted to send a great big hug. I don't know how you got throught this episode and review. Watching just about killed me. That kind of weepiness/sleeplessness hasn't happened to me since they first aired Heart.

Slainte cara,
Britany K
gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 01:36 am (UTC)
Re: thanks
Thank you, Britany! I hope if you more to say after reading you come back and share it with me. Thank you for taking time to offer me this. And for the hug. *accepts it with much gratitude*

:)

My best to you!

Slainte.
ilaria84
May. 14th, 2010 01:25 pm (UTC)
another perfect review and as always your point of view is awesome and we are on the same boat lol
thanks again for another precious review
gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 01:36 am (UTC)
Thank YOU so much for reading! I love that we're in the same boat.

Take care of you and I hope to see you again soon!
chiiyo86
May. 14th, 2010 01:42 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the epic review! Thanks for all the reviews you've written so far - and I'm so glad that it won't be the last!

I'm glad that it's not the show's ending! Because to me, the real ending won't be even close to perfect if Sam and Dean are separated! But this, as a transition to another chapter to the story, it works for me. I have no idea how they're going to start the new season, and I've never been that clueless about Show!

This was such an emotional roller coaster, and I don't think I'll be rewatching this episode anytime soon, not because I didn't like it, but because it was just. so. painful.
gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 01:38 am (UTC)
Yes, I totally agree. The real end needs to have them together. Looking in the same direction. :)

I, too, was NOT ready for this to be over and am doing the dance of joy that we have another season. :)

I usually don't rewatch the episodes for whatever reason, but yeah, this DEFINITELY won't be on rewatch until I feel I can do so without sobbing. :)

*hugs*

See you soon!
thruterryseyes
May. 14th, 2010 02:16 pm (UTC)
i couldn' wait to get to my e-mail and read your review because you always see more than I do in these shows as i am such a simple person basically and miss all the deep stuff.

1. Triple Lindy is a dive that Rodney Dangerfield did in the movie Back to School. I have no idea if it's a real dive or not.

Ah if having a wealth of useless knowledge were only the same as money....

Anywho, I turned to my husband several times during the show at certain points and told him I couold hear you yelling. At the classic rock music, the mention of Stulkl being the battleground and I think i actually DID hear you yell when they mentioned the Jayhawks.

I loved the way the Impala was the background theme of the show. It never occurred to me that Chuck might have been God. That certainly makes more sense than im just vanishing for no reason.

I have to admit I had a problem with Dean being so accepting of Sam's role in this but I know he was doing his best to step up and take what comes but it still bothered me, maybe because i'm not sure if I was watching someone I loved trying to throw thems elves off a cliff, even for the greater good, I'm not sure I could stand there and do it, let alone help push.

But when Dean was taking that beating, not fighting back and promising Sam he wouldn't leave, that was heartbreaking and beautiful. You may be doing what you have to do, even if you don't want to, but this is what I have to do and I won't leave you no matter what.

I yelled when Cas was killed, expected Bobby after that and marked them off my list. Bayre asked me who died cause she won't see the show til another day and I said everyone.

Knowing that they have to slavage this and bring on a new season still left me unhappy with the way this ended. I wanted some closure more than what i got. I wanted to feel the way I did at the end of Season two. TRhey had defeated an enemy but they still had a battle to fight.

Dean going to Lisa was wonderful for me cause i like her and he needed someone to hold him and tell him it would be alright but even tho I was waiting for SOMETHING to happen to tell me it wasn't over, when it did, and he must have practiced that look for days cause I have NO idea what the hell that expression on Sam's face meant, I still went Huh?

I'm glad the show is over for this season cause they've worn me out but if the intent was to make me go well what the hell happens now, in that they were successful.

I want it to go back to being about them and frankly I'd like to see some more ghost hunting along with it, but thinking about that look on Sam's face made me feel llike he was back, as Sam watching Dean trying to make that life Sam wanted him to and what the hell was Sam supposed to do now.

It's gona be a LONG summer.
gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 01:40 am (UTC)
We've already talked but I had to say that getting a comment of THIS length from you? Was like Christmas. I loved reading what you thought and why. Thank you for this piece of you.

And as for summer? We'll fill it with fic and art. *grins*
tuya_moon
May. 14th, 2010 02:16 pm (UTC)
This episode nearly ripped me apart, especially when Dean was left COMPLETELY alone. No Sam, no Cas, no Bobby. Just broken and alone. That's about all I can articulate right now. Have had a hell of a year (as you well know, my dear)....hopefully I can articulate things better by the time Sunday rolls around and you are here--in person. (YAY!) Right now, I just feel like an empty shell. Sigh. Thanks, Kripke.
gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 01:41 am (UTC)
We'll probably talk more about this tomorrow (tommorrow!) but I just wanted to say thank you for reading and taking time to comment. I hear you on feeling so bereft for Dean.

But the way I look at it is that he needs a rest stop. A place to take a breath, gather his strength. Just...rest. Having Lisa's arms wrapped around him while he's doing so isn't bad either. :) And then he'll regroup and be who he is: a hunter. And I'll save the rest of my thinky thoughts for the recap thingy I'm going to write... LOL!

See you soon, girl!
lovinjackson
May. 14th, 2010 02:21 pm (UTC)
Yeah ... yeah ... I really dont know what more to say or add to this. This was epic ... big and so much of what you said had me nodding in agreement. Jared impressed me in this and my heart broke for Dean and if I hadnt been surrounded by my family I would have let the tears fall. I will tell you now that it took GREAT restraint to stop the tears. My brother made a phone call after the episode to a mate and I had to eavesdrop when I walked past his room because I heard him rambling about the episode to his friend ... he doesnt admit it but he's such a fanboy when it comes to this show LOL

September is a long way away ... I have been back and forth in my feelings in regards to getting a new season and even though i am nervous with Kripke not being at the helm and I would have actually been satisfied (only word I could think of) with that ending? I am glad that Dean Winchester will be back. I'm not ready to let go of my hero just yet.

Word
gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 01:43 am (UTC)
Bwah!! I love that anecdote about Matthew!! SOOO funny.

It is going to be interesting without Chuck, er God, er Kripke...but I think that ultimately, it's going to still be our boys. And we'll be there every step. Together.

Word.
deangirl1
May. 14th, 2010 02:57 pm (UTC)
I'm not reading the other comments - yet - but I have to tell you I am with you 100% on this. It was the best we could have hoped for under the circumstances. It wasn't the ending Kripke wanted to give us - I know it wasn't - but it was close and it was satisfying.
I'm just going to touch on a few points...
First - Dean saying I'm here for you Sam even as he beat the living crap out of him - and notice Dean didn't throw even one back - just GUH. Perfect. That's our boy. And that scene reminded me so, so much of Born Under a Bad Sign....
So the righteous man - that was retconed - no doubt in my mind. I'm sure they will justify it as being the one who started the seals falling had to stop the seals falling and when Dean failed to do that he failed. But here's where we go to what Kripke REALLY had in mind. I fully believe that he would have had Dean say yes to Michael. They would have been the ones to meet on the battlefield. And Dean would have defeated Michael and Sam would have broken Lucifer's hold and Dean would NEVER have let Sam go into the pit alone -- they both would have gone in. Personally? I wanted them to fix the rings to the roof of the Impala and drive her in too.... Anyway - I think when Kripke figured it might go more than the 5 seasons back in 4, he brought Adam in then as a back up... but I still think that he would have put them both in the pit if he'd been coming back next year...
Charles Bukowski was an alcholic and perennially rumbled poet. Mickey Rourke played him in a movie - Barflys? Not sure about Lindy -- but I think it is a sports reference...
I squeed and shouted your name when they mentioned Stull cemetary.
I liked Dean honoring his promise to Sam. Dean letting Sam grow up and honoring his choice. THAT is courage and strength - and two things that Sam did not afford to Dean.
And did you notice when he was talking to Lisa and his voice broke - it wasn't Dean's voice (the voice Jensen even uses at conventions when I swear he channels Dean to get through the day) - it was Jensen's voice - so young... GAH!
My final comments are on the Impala story and Chuck. Just yes. And Chuck = Kripke = God. Yep. I'm cool with that. And endings ARE hard. And the fans WILL always bitch. I was so, so glad to have Kripke's voice come through so clearly here!

My actual final comment is on the montages.The Impala has always been home for me for them and I loved all the clips and voice overs, but... Specifically, Dean putting legos in the heater. I always wanted legos when I was a kid. My mother never bought them for me, so I'd go next door and play with Bruce Elliot - who had them. Now... years later I have a horse... whose name is Leggo (yes, dear, misspelt just as you did *hugs*). He is my family in so many ways - and is the icon I use here. And he thinks he's all that and a total smartass - guess who he reminds me of?
Don't be a stranger over the hellatus...
gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 01:46 am (UTC)
Oh, oh, oh, how I appreciate these thoughts of yours. Just perfect. :) And YES! I totally caught that broken, young, exposed voice when Dean asked Lisa if he could have that beer. Broke. My. Heart.

Um, whoops! Legos. Heh.

Oh, my how much do I LOVE the story of your Leggos -- and the pic!! *rubs his ears* Thank you for sharing that story with me. And for every single one of your comments along the way.

I won't be a stranger. Well, no stranger than I usually am anyway. ;)

*mental fist bump*
(no subject) - deangirl1 - May. 16th, 2010 02:25 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gaelicspirit - May. 16th, 2010 03:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
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x5vale
May. 14th, 2010 03:56 pm (UTC)
I was linked here and I think this is absolutely fantastic.

:)))

I liked Dean honoring his promise to Sam. Dean letting Sam grow up and honoring his choice. THAT is courage and strength - and two things that Sam did not afford to Dean
ITA.
That's being heroic.

Edited at 2010-05-14 03:58 pm (UTC)
gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 01:46 am (UTC)
Hi!! Thank you for coming by! I'm so pleased this resonated with you! :)

That's being heroic.

Yes, yes and more yes.

Hope to see you again!
(no subject) - x5vale - May. 17th, 2010 07:05 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gaelicspirit - May. 17th, 2010 01:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - x5vale - May. 17th, 2010 02:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
pielover62
May. 14th, 2010 04:26 pm (UTC)
I don't even know where to start...well, actually I do.
Thank you for taking the time and effort to review each episode. I know I couldn't do it, but your reviews have been a balm to my soul on more than one occasion.

I have a friend who used watch the show religously. In fact, she was the reason I started watching. At some point she became disillusioned with the show and now usually has more bad than good to say about it. I made the mistake of talking with her immediatley after watching and I really wish I hadn't. Thanks to you I was able to put it all back into perspective and remember what I love about our boys and the show.

I agree with you on just about everything and I hope you are right about Sam and what might be in store for next season. Chuch as God works for me, although I didn't get it right away. I have to wonder though why the amulet didn't light up around him (or had Cas taken it by that time?), but the idea made perfect sense to me. I, too, am so very tired of Luci's whining and hope we're finished with him for good. I look forward to a little bit of Dean & Lisa to start off the next season...and isn't that just another perfect set-up for a bittersweet goodbye.

Thank you, again for your thoughts and insights. I hope you decide to contiue with your rambles next season, because they add a whole dimension to my viewing expreience that would be sorely missed.

gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 01:56 am (UTC)
I'm so happy to be your balm. :) That makes me smile. It's sad about your friend, though. I mean, it happens, but I know it affects your enjoyment of the show. Which isn't fun. :(

I have to wonder though why the amulet didn't light up around him (or had Cas taken it by that time?),

Yeah, that was one thing about Chuck=God that wasn't quite sure what to do with. Because Dean wore it around him. So, if we do go with Chuck=God, then you could say because he's God he made it not work...which would be hrm...

But I think the whole Amulet Is A God Beacon was a poooor storyline/plot devise. They had a compelling enough story about the amulet with it just being a gift from Sam to Dean. Making it a God Beacon could have been cool...except it's like they couldn't make it play out so they just said it didn't work and Dean threw it away (resulting in broken hearts and symbolism)... I think that was just poor plotting.

UNLESS they pull it off in S6 somehow. It ain't over until it's over, right?

Thank YOU for taking time to read and offer me your comments. :) I plan on continuing next season, so I hope to see you then.
(no subject) - pielover62 - May. 16th, 2010 03:00 am (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
May. 14th, 2010 04:46 pm (UTC)
Pinkchick
Hey Gaelic!

Haven't read your ramble yet, but promise to do so by Sunday! I'm still an emotional wreck, but I have to head out to my college graduation! :D

Just stopped in to say hi and can't wait to read the ramble... granted, I'm still incoherent. :(
gaelicspirit
May. 16th, 2010 01:57 am (UTC)
Re: Pinkchick
Hey you!! I hear you on being an emotional wreck. Gracious.

I will watch for you on Sunday. :)
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