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Stream of Consciousness, Episode 8.02

This season has me revved up. So far, I’m really enjoying it – even the unanswered questions. And Dean…sweet baby Jane this season’s Dean has me doing mental back flips in Jeremy Carver’s honor.

Okay, first, though, I have to course-correct myself. So, you guys know that I watch the episode once, then hit the computer keys and give you my stream of consciousness thoughts. With that, some impressions can be incorrect. Which is why ya’ll are made of awesome because you bring with your comments clarity and information I didn’t have before. Thanks for that. *smiles*

Wherein Gaelic muses on the brothers for a bit…if you don’t feel like indulging her, the recap is down screen:

One such piece of information is that, apparently, Sam in fact didn’t know that Dean was alive when he came to the cabin. He just wanted some “alone time.” This was provided to me by those who listened to a podcast post episode from one of the producers (I think?), Jim Michaels. So, okay, he was taken totally by surprise – though his reaction felt too subdued. I don’t know how I really expected him to act – emotional, maybe? Kind of like he did when Dean showed up alive after Hell.

But then again, things had changed between that resurrection and this one. Sam says he’s the same guy, but I don’t think he is. Neither of them is; they can’t be. Not after losing everyone they held close, having nothing left but each other, and then being torn apart with no warning and no explanation and no recourse. They may have had very different years, but the catalyst for those differences was them being separated so harshly and that forced some choices.

I’ve been pondering change lately – can people really change, or does life simply force them to adapt? Are you who you are at the core of you no matter what you manage to accept and conform to? Or can you truly become someone different?  I think this season is going to feed into those questions a bit with some possible theories.

Here’s the interesting thing to me about Sam right now. He didn’t know Dean was alive until he showed up at the cabin, and he'd quit hunting, but when Dean gave him those I’m so disappointed in you angry brother eyes about Kevin, he was part of the hunt for the prophet. And he’s obviously not lost his hunter’s edge. In fact, it seems he’s picked up a few tricks he didn’t have last time he and Dean hunted together. However, even with all of that, I can’t help but wonder how long he’s going to be in this game.

He’s not in it for Dean – I think Azazel had it . I don’t think Sam needs Dean like Dean needs Sam. It’s not bad, it just is. It makes me sad for Dean, but I can’t judge Sam for that. I do still kinda judge him for not looking for Dean, but I’m open to hearing his side of the story once it’s told to help me un-tilt my head. But I have to wonder when Sam’s going to decide to remind Dean that he made a choice: he’s done with hunting.

I really only think he’s in this for Kevin. And when they find a way to save Kevin, I think he’s going say he’s done. And I think that’s going to rattle Dean harder than either of them realize.

Because Dean is on edge.

It’s so clear that he’s barely holding it together – his pain and anger and the trauma he experienced and survived in Purgatory is simmering just below the surface. Unlike Hell, this time it’s manifesting itself in anger and very, very controlled violence. He’s wound so tight his internal clock is ticking into the future. He is holding on to haunting remorse – nightmarish guilt – and between that and a years worth of survival tactics, he's ignoring normally instinctive reactions of sympathy. Sam’s always been the “you brave little soldier” emotional part of their partnership, but Dean’s never been cold. He’s close to that now; he’s closed off an emotional part of himself that would have probably strangled him with despair in Purgatory.

I don’t think he realizes it yet, but he needs Sam to remind him of his humanity, to remind him of who he was before Purgatory: guardian, protector, big brother. Especially if he’s going to live in this world again and have any sort of peace. And especially if the only friend he has in this world -- the only other person who knows what he survived and how he survived it -- is a vampire he’s forcing to keep away. Having Sam with him now isn’t just…habit or nostalgia. It’s necessity.

There’s tension in every aspect of Dean – in how he moves, how he watches people, how he talks, even how he breathes. He’s a live wire and he can’t get past whatever happened to him in Purgatory. And until he does, it’s going to eat him up in ways we’ve not seen before. We’ve seen him crumble, we’ve seen him break, we’ve seen him drink himself numb, we’ve seen him shut down, we’ve seen him as raw as any human can be. But this…this is different.

This is a solider walking a knife’s edge between battle and home and not really able to maintain his balance with each step.

And I will freely admit…I like it.

He makes me catch my breath – even when he’s doing something where my heart cries no, that’s not our Dean…he’d never do that I watch in awe to see what’s going to happen next because I think he’s on his way to answering my question about change one way or the other.

Either we’ll see that the soft heart that always beat inside of Dean, the heart that focused on saving people before hunting things is still there, buried under so many walls of protection and survival that it’s flickering in the dark – he’s still the same person, he’s just been forced to adapt – or, we’ll see that his iron will has been heated and reshaped into a warrior that is lost without a war.

I can’t wait to watch how he shares this story, this character evolution, with us.

Dean has always been my hero in this show – I identified with his family duties, his sibling responsibilities, his issues with his father, and then as he morphed, life pushed at me and I found myself managing to even relate to his fears of going to Hell, his survival of that awful place, his feeling betrayed by his brother, his losing his way and going through the motions because what the hell else is he going to do…. And now I can’t help but still find myself connecting with Dean, wanting to see his story play out, attracted to the internal battle, the struggle to remember that the world isn’t all tunnel: there is light. However else Carver intends to play out the conflict between the brothers, I’m caught by the story he’s thus far spooling out with Dean.

And any good story has conflict.

Complication in their relationship – as I see it – is a good thing. It keeps the story unfolding, keeps it real and relevant. If they were always buddies, the fact that they’re siblings wouldn’t feel realistic to me. Especially as different as these characters are. The love is there. The faith in each other is there, even if the trust wavers. They will always be family. So I am willing to wait out the back stories and see where we’re going with their bond and future as partners.

OKAY! So, with that, I’ll get to it.

Things I loved:

  • Dean’s intensity, Dean’s flashbacks, Dean’s crow’s feet (seriously, just Dean)
  • Getting more info on Purgatory
  • Benny (I am ready for more of this guy)
  • CAS!
  • Sam’s concern and confusion watching his brother
  • Sam being wicked clever hunter dude with the reverse Latination
  • Mama Tran. Full stop.
  • Crowley being an evil bastard

Things I liked:

  • Cas with a beard (I’m guessing Dean used the edge of the axe thingy to shave…right?? *wink*)
  • Sam’s soft eyed expressions
  • Kevin’s struggle to deal with...well, everything
  • This line: “I think too much heart was always Castiel’s problem.”
  • Sam channeling his inner Avenger and wielding Mjolnir
  • The return of rock alias’

Things I was slightly meh:

  • The auction/Plutos/Mr. Fancy Pants (never got his name)
  • The random old guy with the giant bone (yeah, I heard it as soon as I typed it)

Things that had me rubbing my heart:

  • Dean’s memories of finding Cas
  • This line: “I’m not leaving here without you. Understand?”
  • Sam instinctively trying to convince Dean Kevin’s note wasn’t true
  • Dean accepting one more nightmare, one more reason to hate himself, as a sacrifice for what he saw as the greater good

THEN – basically last week’s episode. If you saw it, you’re good.

NOW – Chicago, IL, a bank vault.

Okay, I will admit to an eyebrow arch moment. All this stuff with the old guy getting Box #1 from the safety deposit boxes, taking out the giant finger bone and killing the poor (virgin) bank teller was a bit random. Even with what happened at the end. Looking back, it felt…oddly placed.  But we did get our typical splash of blood before the (very cool new) title card.

Elsewhere, Kevin, Sam, and Dean are eating at some outside BBQ place. Kevin wants to go check on his mom. Dean has a one-track mind: find tablet, close Hell Gates, rid world of Demons. For him, pretty much all else should stop until they accomplish this because this is a mission. It’s the mission. He can put his whole focus on it and be justified because it’s a very good thing. He doesn’t have to think about right or wrong – it’s clearly right to rid the world of demons, so why the hell should they worry about anything else until that was accomplished?

But, see, Kevin can still see Crowley snapping Channing’s neck. And he wants to go check on his mom. Kevin's their reminder of what it was like when evil was still shocking and horrible -- not an every day occurrence. When Sam speaks up that Kevin has a point Dean barks at his brother to stay out if it, and interestingly enough, Sam does. He steps back out of the way a lot in this episode – either because he’s just keeping out of Dean’s way and letting his brother take the action he needs to take, or because he wants this Kevin business done as quickly as possible so he can get back to his real life, I’m not sure. But there were times I expected him to protest and he stayed silent and with his silence, gave the impression of agreement.

Dean tells Kevin that his mom is fine because Crowley needs her to be fine – she’s bait. Crowley’s waiting to jump on him the moment they show up.

Kevin: Dean, my mom’s all alone and is surrounded by demons. I just want to make sure she’s okay. How can you not understand that?

Thing is, he does. He does only too well.

Dean: Son of a bitch. Fine! Let’s go.

So, elsewhere yet again – a day’s drive in the opposite direction from where they were headed – the boys and Kevin are sitting in the Impala outside a nice house. Sam is peering through binoculars and calls out, “Tiger mom, 9 o’clock.” Hee. Tiger mom. Such funny guys.

While Kevin greedily grabs the binoculars to see that his mom is okay – sad, but okay – Dean is casing the joint. The cool thing about this is, he doesn’t move, but sees everything. The mailman delivering mail three times, the gardener over-watering the flowers. His eyes are taking everything in. And shallow moment 4 of infinity? He looks so great in this whole scene. apieceofcake, I’ll be watching for your artwork…. *smiles*

Dean sneaks around the house and turns off the water, taking out the demon gardener when he comes to check on it. Then he stands loose-limbed and friendly as the demon mailman walks through the gate and waves as Sam stabs and kills Demon #2. Inside, Mama Tran is talking to her kindly demon!neighbor, Eunice, who is encouraging her to stay where she is and hang in there because Kevin will be back. Then, ta-da!

Kevin is at the door. Mama Tran has about 2 seconds to register shock when Dean splashes her with holy water, declaring she’s clean. Ha! She ignores them, hugging her son. Sam smells something – sulfur maybe? – and the boys head in where the demon in Eunice starts to take the the black smoke escape route.

And here is where Sam impresses the hell out of me by instantly rambling some Latin rite and forcing the black smoke back into Eunice so that Dean can stab and kill it/her. Mama Tran is understandably shocked, but Dean is all, “That wasn’t Eunice.”

The boys sit across from the Trans, giving it to her straight. She takes it in, slowly, but calmly – getting the sense of what demons were, where Kevin had been for the last year. She looks at her son finally and says, “Prophet of the Lord, huh? Does have a nice ring to it.”

Dean declares that Mama Tran is going to a safe house, but she ain’t having none of it. Sam agrees but neither the puppy dog eyes nor the scary threats that Crowley could take her soul and make it burn in Hell – literally – have any affect on her.

Mama Tran: It’s not my soul I’m worried about. It’s my son’s.

Atta girl. I loved this woman. She’s my kind of mom. Tough, protective, savvy, smart, willing to throw herself in harm’s way for the sake of her child. *fist bumps good moms everywhere*

Kevin can’t tell her what to do – especially after she uses the Mom Eye (I’ve put that to good use a few times myself) – so Dean says coming with them has a few conditions like hex bags and…getting inked.

Kevin’s all, wait, what? And Sam pulls out his tough-guy voice and shows Kevin his tat. Nice.

Mama Tran: Fine. What? Like it’s my first tattoo?

Dean’s face was like, well, allrighty then. *grins*

While the Trans get inked, Dean and Sam stand off to the side, talking. Dean can smell revenge, it’s so close. Which caught me – revenge, huh? Not justifiable demonicide, ridding the world of demons for the sake of saving the world? Revenge for all the wrongs that were visited upon them. I’m going to have to roll that one around in my head a bit, especially as Dean scoffed at Sam for wanting revenge – though Sam reclassified it as redemption – when Sam quit hunting before. The shifts in Dean’s approach and perception post-Purgatory are so intriguing.

Kevin is whimpering like a little girl. I’m sorry, but he is. It hurts, but not that bad. I just got my fourth tattoo in the same place that Mama Tran got hers and it wasn’t half as bad as I thought it would be. *shakes head at Kevin* But, Mama Tran reaches out and takes his hand, calmly giving him strength because she’s a good mom.

Meanwhile, Dean’s asking Sam how he did the reverse exorcism.

Sam: Just said the verse backwards.

Dean = huh!

Me = huh!

That’s some quick thinking, there, Sammy. I wonder if it just occurred to him or if he’d had to do that in the past for some reason. *continues to ponder Sam’s story*

Later, they’re at a bus depot and after doing a sweep to make sure there weren’t any demons lurking about, they take a locker key from Kevin and think positive thoughts while opening a locker to find…a diaper bag. No Word of God inside. Oops.

Sam says nothing, but Dean growls, “Shut up,” at him anyway. Heh.

Suited up, the boys play Fed and interview the security guy, discovering that there were a rash of thefts and that he replaced the former security guy, Clem Somebody – who is currently residing in county lock-up. Convenient.

Still playing Fed, they are able to get in to question Clem about what he did with the tablet he stole from the locker. Sam is sitting at the table with the orange-suited former security guard, his voice soft, his eyes friendly, doing all the things Sam does really well.

Dean? Is pacing. Like a caged tiger. He’s listening to Sam but you can see his whole focus is on getting that damn tablet.

When Clem tries to lawyer up, Sam cajoles him by saying they might be able to work out a little “something something” with the locals and that triggers a flashback for Dean that he’s not able to fully pull out of for a bit.

I love how they filmed this scene. Dean fades a bit and we see the acid-washed look of Purgatory: Dean bloody and dirty, holding his wicked-looking axe thingy while Benny interrogates some monster. Benny steps away, saying the monster doesn’t know where the angel is, and Dean surges in, not satisfied with that answer.

In the holding cell, Dean has pulled off his tie and before Clem or Sam know what’s happening, he’s wrapped it around Clem’s throat, hauled him out of the chair, pressed him against the wall, and placed the blade of the Demon-Killing knife at his throat.

Sam: Hey! Dean!

But Dean’s back in Purgatory, his words echoing both in reality and memory as he presses the knife against a throat.

Dean: You feel that?

In Purgatory, the monster tells Dean that he knows where Castiel is and will show him. Dean says he should just tell him. In the holding cell, Clem tells him that the tablet is at a Pawn Shop. In Purgatory, the monster tells Dean that Cas is in a clearing, near a stream.

Dean: You know what? I believe you.

We watch Purgatory!Dean kill the monster and I swear I caught my breath, afraid he wasn’t going to be able to separate memory from reality and follow through by killing Clem, but Sam is half-standing at the table, saying his name in that controlled bark of sound he has: “Dean!”

Dean loosens the tie around Clem’s throat, pulls it free, then turns and he and Sam walk out together.

Whew. I need a drink.

Next we see the Impala pull up and park behind a red Ferrari that would have Magnum grinning. The boys walk in without a sideways glance, but Kevin’s all, Whoa. Mama Tran is not impressed and gives him the follow me, now finger.

They walk into the Pawn Shop and Sam flashes a badge, introducing them as Agents Neil and Sixx (yay! for the return of rock alias! Also, ironic choice as they are, indeed, a bit of a motley crew). He asks for the tablet, but the guy behind the counter decides to be, well, in Dean-speak, a douche. Dean says he’s had a bad day and if the dude wants to do this the rough way, Dean’s happy to oblige. The dude is unaffected by the thinly veiled threat and shows off his security cameras.

Mama Tran: That your car outside?

Pawn Dude: What’s it to you, Mail Order?

Dean (slapping his hand on the counter in anger): Hey! Pal!


Mama Tran: I got it.

And she totally does, too. She noticed that his tags where expired, assessing he just got it in trade. She asks Kevin what the Blue Book was on a 2010 Ferrari Spider, which Kevin knows, then she wonders aloud what the Wyoming tax (guess they’re in Wyoming) was and Sam knew that right off the bat (because he’s The Smart One) and she tells Pawn Dude that he’s got about a $10K tax bill and she’d be happy to call her brother who is a Wyoming state tax assessor and bring this to his attention. She’s like, so, tablet or that piece of Eurotrash crap you call a car?

Way to go, Mama Tran!

The Pawn Dude sends them to a hotel where the person who bought the tablet is apparently staying, but before they can knock, Mr. Fancy Pants – the right hand to the god Plutos, all dressed in a dapper gray suit with a top hat – says that he’s been looking for Kevin. Has an invitation to an auction where they’re selling the tablet.

Now, why the guys didn’t immediately think that it was fishy that these gods would be willing to sell the tablet to the only person on Earth who could read it, I don’t know. But there you go.

Dean immediately says that the prophet isn't going anywhere without them and Mr. Fancy Pants says that the auction has a strict, “no casting, cursing, or supernaturally flicking the two of you against the wall just for the fun of it” policy.

Aw, man. Where’s the fun in that? *wink*

Dean’s joke about Plutos not being a planet anymore falls flat and Mr. Fancy Pants says that they’ll add a plus 3 to Kevin’s invite, then vanishes.

Dean: Thank you, Mr. Peanut!

Seriously, he was that, minus the monocle.

Dean asks what they have to bid and Sam’s like, uh…all we have to our name are a few hacked gold cards. Dean demands they get creative and Sam exhales loudly and glances over at the Impala.

Just as I was loudly exclaiming Wait, what? NO! Dean puts his body between everyone else and his baby and says, “Say it and I will kill you, your children, and your grandchildren.”

Man, it’s a real good thing Sam kept hold of that car in that year he was living a normal life. All I’m saying.

Plan A is then concocted: get Kevin inside and close enough to memorize the tablet. Done deal.

They show up at the auction place and walk through a metal detector – which Dean immediately (and predictably) sets off. He has to put his (pretty) Colt and the Demon-Killing knife in a box, declaring that he’ll be back for the knife. They showed the knife for an additional beat and I was almost worried we wouldn’t see that again.

We sweep the room to see what all is being auctioned off – and I laughed out loud when they showed Mjolnir. The hubs was like, is that…Thor’s Hammer? Ayup! The tablet is there, but it's covered up. Curses! So, they try to figure out Plan B.

Before they can, though, Crowley shows up. As he’s being all…Crowley-like…and guessing their Plan A. Dean is just…staring at him with this controlled hate. The look on his face is rather dangerous. Crowley teases Kevin about killing Channing, and is smarmy to Mama Tran, who hauls off and clocks him one hard enough Crowley stumbles back.

Mama Tran: Stay away from my son.

Dean steps forward, but Sam holds out a hand stopping him, saying it’s not worth it. Crowley tells Dean to listen to Moose, referring to him as “squirrel” and I cackled. I’ve been waiting for that, with as much as he refers to Sam as “moose.” All we need now is for Crowley to send a couple Russian demons after them named Boris and Natasha. *grins*

Plutos arrives and everyone starts to go take their seats – Sam complimenting Mama Tran on her nice right hook (*loves*) – but Dean is stopped by a kid in a Wiener Hut uniform. He tells Dean he knew Castiel – he’s an angel named Mandrael (I think that's what he said anyway...feel free to correct me). He wants to know if Cas made it out of Purgatory and Dean is quiet. But at the mention of Cas’ name, Dean's eyes narrow and his mouth gets tight and he looks like he's in pain.

Mandrael: Some in Heaven believe that despite all of his mistakes, Castiel’s heart was in the right place.

Dean: Are you one of them?

Mandrael: I think too much heart was always Castiel’s problem.

*rubs heart*

Dean looks destroyed for a moment and then fades a bit, flashing back to Purgatory. We see Cas – dirty, bearded, still in the trench coat – crouched at a stream washing his hands. Dean and Benny are making their way through the woods and Dean stops in his tracks when he see’s Cas. His whole being lights up and he calls out Cas’ name in this rough, booming voice and Cas stands up, turning slowly, saying, “Dean?” with kind of fearful wonderment.

Dean heads straight for his friend and envelopes him in a hug, which Cas doesn’t return. Dean, though, is all smiles, just utter, complete relief that Cas is there and alive. He introduces Benny – doesn’t say what he is, just his name. Cas just looks from one to the other, his eyes never ceasing movement his body kind of rotating as he keeps an eye out. He exudes wariness. He wants to know how they found him.

Dean: The bloody way. You feeling okay?

Cas:  You mean, am I still (makes coo-coo gesture).

Dean: If you want to be on the nose about it, sure.

Cas: I’m perfectly sane. But then, 94% of psychotics think they’re perfectly sane. So, we have to ask ourselves, what is “sane.”

Dean (reeling a bit from the onslaught of words and logic): Good question.

Benny (stepping forward, unable to stay quiet any longer): Why’d you bail on Dean?

I do love this guy’s drawl.

Dean: Dude.

Benny: The way I hear it, you two hit monster land and Hot Wings took off. Figure he owes you some answers.

Wait…the way he heard it? From whom, I wonder? Curiouser and curiouser. *is loving this story*

Dean (rotated slightly to address Benny, but looking at Cas with slightly desperate eyes): We were surrounded. Obviously some freak jumped Cas and kicked his ass…right?

Man, it's the same expression he had when he said after you looked for me, right? to Sam. A quiet plea that he wasn’t forgotten. A hope that he wasn’t left behind.

Cas: No.

Dean (winces, head tilts): What?

 Cas: I ran away.

Dean: You…ran away.

Cas: I had to.

Dean (angry): That’s your excuse for leaving me with those gorilla wolves? You bailed on me and what? Went camping? I prayed to you, Cas. Every night.

Gah, he killed me there. His eyes.

Benny looks from one to the other, his expression a little smug – as if he knew that Cas had run and just needed Dean to hear it from his friend. Cas says he knows that Dean prayed and you can see Dean hold himself in check, pull himself up tight as Cas continues to talk.

Cas: I am an angel in a land of abomination. There have been things hunting me from the moment we arrived.

Dean: Join the club!

Cas tells him that Leviathans are hunting him and he’s stayed away from Dean to protect him – to keep the Leviathans away from Dean. He tells Dean to leave. Benny’s like, hey that’s cool with me. But Dean shifts tactics and tells Cas that they’re getting out. He makes Benny tell Cas about the human portal, though Benny says he doesn’t know if it would work for angels. Dean says they’ll figure out a way.

Dean: Cas, buddy, I need you.

Seriously, it’s like he’s trying to break my heart.

Cas says it’s too dangerous.

Dean: Let me bottom line it for you. I’m not leaving here without you, understand?

Cas: I understand.

And suddenly I was like, uh-oh…. If Cas wanted to protect Dean…and Dean refused to leave without him…what if Cas’ “letting go” that Dean referred to before was literal, and not an emotional/figurative giving up that I’d originally taken him to mean? What if that flash we see at the end is Cas letting go to save Dean and Dean having to carry the burden that he wasn’t able to hold on…?

Back in the present, we’re starting the auction and Plan B seems to be the motley crew pooling their money…only they were at a supernatural auction so I even before the first item opened with a bid of 3 tons of dwarf gold, I knew money wasn’t going to work. Sam helplessly suggests Plan C and Dean heads to the restroom, following a henchman who is pushing a tray with auction stuff on it. The henchman puts the tray in what looks like a safe and Dean manages to “accidentally” run into the henchman, picking the guy’s pocket with stealth that would make Neal Caffrey proud, and unlocks the safe…only to find that it’s actually another room with two more henchmen guarding the goods (including the tablet).

When he returns, the old dude from the beginning is bidding on Mjolnir with the giant finger bone he got from the safe and “5/8th of a virgin.” Ack, really? Dean tells Sam that Plan C tanked and Crowley mocks them that they should go with Plan D for Dumbass. Dean turns around and glares at him.

When the tablet comes up, Crowley immediately stands up and bids $3million. Mandrael stands and bids the Mona Lisa, Crowley counters with the real Mona Lisa – where her breasts are showing. Mandrael offers the Vatican City. Crowely offers the moon. Yes. The Moon.

Dean rotates around at that and says incredulously, “The moon?!”

Crowley: Think a man named Buzz goes to the moon without making a few deals?

Mr. Fancy Pants says they still don’t have their price and decides to sweeten the pot – and suddenly Kevin's up front chained to a pipe. Well, duh. He offers the tablet with the Prophet as a matched set. The boys are looking a bit gut-punched. Mama Tran stands up and offers her house, her 401K, anything. Plutos laughs at her. She thinks a minute and then, tears in her eyes, offers her soul.

I totally expected Sam and Dean to stop her, protest, something. But Sam stayed quiet and all Dean said was, “Are you sure? That’s a big move.”

Changed or adapted, our boys aren’t who they were 6 years ago. Having dealt with their own soul deals, and Hell trips, Sam’s reached a point where he accepts the fate of the world doesn’t rest on his shoulders – and that includes the fate of a single mom – and Dean is so focused on closing the Hell Gate that one woman’s soul is classified under acceptable losses. Especially as she’s volunteering it.

Crowley’s all, hey, if you want souls I have a ton of those. Dean looks at Mandrael and asks him if he’s going to get in on this, but Mandrael says that in Heaven, they guard souls, they don’t horse-trade them. Crowley thinks they have a deal until Plutos reveals that it’s not about the quantity, it’s about the sacrifice. Mama Tran offered all she had – she wins. Crowley even tried to bid his own soul, but Plutos is like, you don’t have a soul.

Afterwards, the boys are sitting in a room with Mama Tran. It’s quiet and they’re all still and subdued.

Mama Tran: Is it going to hurt?

Dean: Probably.

Mama Tran: Will I die?

Sam: No. You’ll just wish you were dead.

And they would know.

Mr. Fancy Pants comes in and says it’s time. Dean asks Mama Tran if she’s okay, and she says she needs a minute. They head out without her and just as she starts for the door, Mandrael shows up and stops her, saying that Kevin would be safer with the angels. He says that the Winchesters are exceptional men, but they’re just men.

It sounded funny having them referred to as ‘men’ even though that’s what they are. We’ve just always called them ‘the boys’ that the reference caught me.

Mama Tran’s like, no disrespect, but the last time I trusted him with the angels, I watched them die and Kevin went missing for a year. She’s sticking with the boys.

She goes into the room where payment and goods are exchanged and the old man is picking up Thor’s Hammer. Plutos reaches his hands out for Mama Tran’s soul –saying he’ll probably tuck it away somewhere it’ll keep him warm at night (um…totally creepy, dude). As she reaches out her hand, though, Dean sees that her tat has been burned off. He grabs her arm to stop her and her eyes flash read and Crowley’s voice comes out. Unfortunately, he got to her after Mandrael and before she walked into the exchange room.

Crowley!Mom blasts the boys against the wall – apparently Mr. Fancy Pants took an island in Caribbean or some such place as payment for betraying his boss. Fancy Pants kills Plutos as the boys are trying to pick themselves up from getting their skulls rattled. Dean grabs the Demon Killing knife out of the weapons box he landed next to.

Crowley!Mom grabs the tablet.

Kevin: Get out of her!

Crowley!Mom: If I had a nickel for every time someone screamed that at me.

*covers mouth to hide inappropriate laugh*

Crowley!Mom declares one out of two ain’t bad, clutches the tablet and runs. Dean heads after her, bellowing to Sam to watch the kid. Fancy Pants pulls out a gun and starts shooting, forcing Sam and Kevin to dive for cover – and I swear I thought I saw a bullet hit Kevin at one point. Thankfully, I was wrong. Sam takes cover near that old dude who is holding Mjolnir.

Just as Fancy Pants catches Kevin in his gun sights, Sam wields Mjolnir and ker-splat, one right-hand-to-a-god down. Kevin runs after Dean and his mom and Sam turns to the old man, breathing hard. The old man wants Mjolnir back and Sam’s all, “where’d you get the 5/8th virgin?” The old man shrugs and Sam Hammers him, too. RAWR!

Only…I’m not sure the point of all that except to maybe show us that Sam may have turned his back on hunting, but when push came to shove, he would take out the bad guy to both protect and avenge the innocent.

OMG, I just said avenge. *laughs at self*

Meanwhile, Dean catches Crowley!Mom and has her pressed up against a post, the tablet having fallen from her grasp, and he has the knife at her throat. In that split second I was torn – he could do this and kill Crowley, taking out the King of Hell…and…if he does this, he’ll be killing Kevin’s mom right in front of him; neither of them will ever get over that. I honestly didn’t know what Dean was going to do until Kevin yelled, “Mom!”

Crowley!Mom gets loose, then Crowley escapes in a burst of red smoke, reforming (in another room, hilariously enough…poor special effects department) and grabbing the tablet. Mama Tran is slumped on the floor – totally zoned out – and Kevin is crouching next to her.

Crowley: Good luck closing the Gates of Hell without this. Surprising what mommy dearest has rattling around in her head. Want to know who your real father is? Scandalous!

Dean (barking it like, that’s enough): Crowley!

Crowley tells Kevin to run because the Winchesters have a habit of using people up and watching them die bloody. Ouch. He leaves with the tablet and the boys are basically back to square one.

A bit later, Mama Tran is on a chair, but still zoned out. Dean tries to comfort Kevin by saying his mom is tough, but Kevin is focused on the fact that Dean tried to kill her. Dean attempts to offer an explanation that no doubt would have covered sacrifice and the greater good, but Kevin isn’t interested in his “crappy speeches.” No wonder, either. He was doing pretty good on his own for a year. They come back into his life and suddenly he’s confronting Crowley again and his mom gets possessed.

He wants a moment alone with his mom, so the boys head out into the next room.

Sam: Dean, were you really going to, uh….

Dean: What? Slit soccer mom’s throat? Yeah, I was. Wish I had.

Sam (looking slightly sick, definitely pained): Dean….

Dean: It was Crowley, Sam. Doesn’t matter what meatsuit he’s in, I should have knifed him. (pauses, eyes tighten) Yeah, it would have sucked and I would have hated myself, but what’s one more nightmare, right?

Hmmm…doesn’t matter what meatsuit? I wonder. I mean, what if it was Sam? I don’t think he’s as cold as he wants to be or thinks he needs to be in order to keep surviving. I think had he really wanted to kill Crowley!Mom, he would have. He didn’t want to make that sacrifice, no matter how he’s beating himself up for his choice now.

Sam, though, is looking at Dean with a slightly sad, slightly disgusted expression. Not really disgusted with Dean so much as disgusted with the choices their lives – what they do – leaves them with. Soon, though, they both realize it’s too quiet in the next room and head in to find that Kevin and Mama Tran are both gone. Kevin left behind a note saying they’ve bolted and to not look for them. Without the tablet, they don’t need him.

Sam (angry): But Crowley still does! What’s that kid thinking?

Dean (soft, sad): He’s thinking that people I don’t need any more end up dead.

Sam (pulling back, pulling in, and showing an immediate concern for Dean’s feelings that was so good to see): Dean, that’s not true. You know that.

But all Dean is seeing is a tragic memory of Cas, on a cliff or a hill, losing his grip on what looks to be Dean’s hand, and calling Dean’s name in a desperate, ragged voice.

And Dean may know that Kevin is just a kid who is upset and a bit traumatized by seeing girlfriend die – without either of the boys trying to save her – and his mother violated – without either of the boys trying to save her…and with Dean nearly killing her. But I don't know that he knows what Kevin says isn't true; I think he's afraid it is. What Kevin doesn’t know, though is how each of those moments – so many moments throughout his life – have dug into Dean, how they’ve caused tiny cuts on his heart that have just bled and bled until he’s almost bled out.

The comment about Cas having too much heart could easily apply to Dean, too, in my estimation. It’s because of that he’s had to put up walls just to survive.

Tell you what, though, when Mama Tran snaps out of it, I think she's going to make Kevin find the boys. She seemed pretty adamant about his staying with them.

I have a feeling that I’m going to feel wrung out at the end of each episode this season. I’m liking how they’re slowly revealing what happened to the boys over the past year and letting that feed into what they’re dealing with in the now. So far it’s making for an incredibly engaging story – for both brothers. While this review is really Dean-centric, I am a fan of the show, which means I’m a fan of Sam, which means I want to find out his story…because what affects Sam ultimately affects Dean. See? Full circle. *smiles*

Thank you for reading. Hope to hear your thoughts in the comments. You guys are incredible with your input and reactions.



( 111 Tall Tales — Tell Me A Story )
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Oct. 11th, 2012 07:04 am (UTC)
intersting point about sam not knowing dean was at the cabin, too bad that didnt come out clearly in the show. it sure makes his real low key response to dean's arrival even odder...its like he's stoned or on prozac or something...nothing really matters...

as for dean, everything matters too much...so they're back in that same old conflict, doing what they both feel is right and in total opposition to each other again...

at least the fate of the world doesn't hinge on them agreeing...yet...
Oct. 11th, 2012 02:11 pm (UTC)
too bad that didnt come out clearly in the show

Totally agree. I didn't see it playing out that way at all, but via comments to last week's episode one of the producers (I think he's a producer, anyway) said that was how it was supposed to be. Making me pretty much oooookay.

so they're back in that same old conflict, doing what they both feel is right and in total opposition to each other again...

Yeah, but isn't that so typical of families -- regardless of if the fate of the world rests on your shoulders. I find myself having the same conversation/argument with my hubs about every 3 months. We get stuck in these patterns because of who we are, and even though we try to see the other side -- and do for awhile -- we fall back on what comes easier for us.

I hope that when the fate of the world does hinge on them once more, they're aligned -- they usually come together right at the end, so they know when it counts, they need to be standing on the same side of the line.

*always has hope*

Thank you for reading and leaving a comment again. :) Hope to see you next week!
(no subject) - percysowner - Oct. 12th, 2012 01:07 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gaelicspirit - Oct. 12th, 2012 01:13 am (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 11th, 2012 07:07 am (UTC)
Hey Gurl

Will do a better comment later , but firstly, please please please tell me that that ending scene is not what I think it is .... that would be too tragic
Oct. 11th, 2012 02:15 pm (UTC)
That ending scene is not what you think it is. I think we're being teased (mercilessly) and we won't see it all come clean for several more episodes.

My take on it is this: Obviously something HUGE happened right there at the end. Dean practically turned himself inside out trying to find Cas. He's not going to just drop him like dead weight to save himself. But if the loss of Cas ended up helping to free Dean from Purgatory, it certainly would feed into the hardened shell of self-preservation we're seeing around Dean right now.

I know everything is speculation at this point, but Dean wouldn't forsake Cas. We just have to wait and see what that's all about. :)

Come back!!
(no subject) - impala1967 - Oct. 11th, 2012 06:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 11th, 2012 07:17 am (UTC)
You said " So, okay, he was taken totally by surprise – though his reaction felt too subdued. I don’t know how I really expected him to act – emotional, maybe? Kind of like he did when Dean showed up alive after Hell." about Sam's reaction to seeing Dean was subdued.

Here's my spin on that. We've seen since oh...as far back as Mystery Spot how Sammy can be stone cold, distant, and aloof. I think he's always had it in him to a degree since childhood. And he's had a lot of betrayals through his life to cause him to keep his distance from people. Remember Brady, who turned out to be a demon? Yeah, I think stuff like that has made him where he doesn't trust people or warm up to them quickly. They usually betray him or get killed after he cares about them. I think he started to withdraw in "Skin" 1.06 but I could be wrong.

I think people can change things about themselves but I think their basic core remains the same. Unless some catastrophic event happens to them. Then all bets are off. And the choices people make can affect changes in them too. Like going to college, getting married, having a kid, stuff like that. Think about it, would you be the same person today if you'd never married or married someone else? If you never had kids? I would be a different person If I'd gone that route. I'd also be a way different person if I hadn't had to get a divorce or lose a kid. I'm pretty well recovered from the divorce but it has left its scars. I'll probably never get over losing my daughter. But we adapt or die. Even though dying seems more preferable at times.
Oct. 11th, 2012 02:18 pm (UTC)
Sammy can be stone cold, distant, and aloof.

Okay, so you're thinking his subdued response -- rather than an emotional one we've seen before -- was a defense mechanism-type reaction because of how he'd felt after losing Dean. Hmmm...Yeah, okay I can see that.

I think people can change things about themselves but I think their basic core remains the same.

I'm leaning that direction myself. For the show and for real life. I think that time and circumstance forces us to adapt to survive, but that the person we are at our core is simply the person we are. Good or bad. I would love to be convinced otherwise, though, in some cases.

Going to your next post....
Oct. 11th, 2012 08:33 am (UTC)
"I don’t think he realizes it yet, but he needs Sam to remind him of his humanity, to remind him of who he was before Purgatory: guardian, protector, big brother."

I think you're on to something very big here. I hadn't realized that until you said it. Wow. I'll be looking at that for a long time. It's gonna be interesting to see what JC does with that. This could be big. Very big.

I liked Dean's reaction when Tiger Mommy responded to having to get inked. Makes ya wonder what and where she got inked.

I liked how Show worked the flashback in with the scene at the county lock up. And I knew as soon as Dean got out of his chair and started loosening his tie the gloves were coming off and Dean was getting down to cases. I've always somewhat seen Sam as a talker and Dean as a doer. Oops, my bad.

I'm sure Dean will catch some flak in the fandom about threatening to kill Sam, his children and his grandchildren. But I totally get where he's coming from. I'm the same way about my cars. I name them, pet them, talk to them, buy them treats, etc. I cry when I have to sell them or they go to that Great Junkyard In The Sky. Why are you looking at me funny? Doesn't everyone? Our cars are so much a part of our lives. And when you consider how much of their lives the Winchesters have had the car and pretty much grew up in it, all the memories they've made in it yeah, makes total sense to me.

I loved Crowley calling the boys "Moose" and "Squirrel". It was hilarious.

That angel's name in the Weiner Hut (how funny izzat?) was Samandiriel. I looked him up. He's the angel of imagination. I think JC or Show was having an inside joke on us. "Cuz they're certainly using their imagination for this season and possibly inspiring ours. I think the whole "Weiner Hut" thing is an inside joke too. Possibly referring to how the fans don't like the boys having girlfriends. Just like when Dean was wrestling with the midget ADA in "Clap Your Hands If You Believe" in front of a sausage stand. I laughed long and hard at that scene. (yes, I'm fully aware of the pun)

Did you notice that when Dean told Cas he wanted to introduce him to someone how Benny turned around and looked behind himself? Made me wonder for a minute if he'd been thinking either he wasn't worthy or an angel would never deign to talk to him because he's an abomination in an angel's eyes. That was a nice subtle touch by Show.
Oct. 11th, 2012 02:21 pm (UTC)
The flashback at the lock-up was amazing. Took the breath out of me.

I'm sure Dean will catch some flak in the fandom about threatening to kill Sam, his children and his grandchildren

Really? Wow. Fandom can exhaust me sometimes. I pretty much took that as Dean just being Dean. He wasn't serious about killing anyone -- he was just serious about no one touching his car.

Okay, that Angel name? I would NEVER have gotten that right just by listening. Thanks for that. :) I'll leave it in the Ramble as is because I'm lazy, but thanks for the correction. :)

Did you notice that when Dean told Cas he wanted to introduce him to someone how Benny turned around and looked behind himself? Made me wonder for a minute if he'd been thinking either he wasn't worthy or an angel would never deign to talk to him because he's an abomination in an angel's eyes.

I did -- I thought that was a great touch. I am really intrigued by this guy -- how he sounded almost protective of Dean when he demanded answers for why Cas left. I can't wait to find out more.
Oct. 11th, 2012 08:34 am (UTC)
That giant finger bone was the tip of a Bifrost giant from Nordic lore. That dude that got it from safe box 1 was Vili, another Nordic god. He's either a brother or son of Odin. Plutus is the Roman god of wealth. And having Mjolnir there was awesome. I loved watching Sammy wield it. You should see the pic Ash48 posted awhile ago. It's awesome and funny all at the same time. And now we can say Crowley "shot the moon"!

I totally get Mama Tran offering her soul for her kid. I'd do the same thing. In fact, I think I did. Let's not go there tonight. I too was surprised when Sam didn't say anything there. Maybe writers couldn't come up with something for him to say or they thought that would be more in keeping with his character. Idk. But Dean questioning her was because he knew from experience the cost of selling his own soul. And Sam's familiar with not having one so he knew what he was talking about too when he said that about "wishing you were dead".

"OMG, I just said avenge. *laughs at self*"
Yes, you did and cracked me up! Big time. I had M.C. Hammer's "Hammer Time" music playing in my head when Sam was hammering everyone.

I think the reason Dean didn't kill Crowley!Mama Tran was because of his own experience of losing his mom. So maybe Dean isn't quite the stone cold killer warrior he's had to be in Purg'. We'll see.

"Yeah, it would have sucked and I would have hated myself, but what’s one more nightmare, right?"
Somehow I wonder about that. I think maybe he's saying that out loud and trying to make himself believe it.

"Sam (pulling back, pulling in, and showing an immediate concern for Dean’s feelings that was so good to see): Dean, that’s not true. You know that."
It was good to see Sammy that way. I think we'll see more of that in the future. And Dean's flashback of him trying to save Cas didn't look to me so much like it was on a hill or cliff but possibly a 'than was dragging him off and Dean couldn't save him. So I think Dean's feeling responsible for Cas' possible demise.

I think Mama Tran will make Kevin rejoin the boys too at some point. I think it's possible she has a much deeper understanding of what's what. Especially after having Crowley possess her.

I'm thoroughly enjoying all the Dean angst. It's juicier and tastier than any burger Dean could ever eat. nom nom nom

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and letting me Ramble On with you. It's fun and I really enjoy it.
Oct. 11th, 2012 02:24 pm (UTC)
Okay, I didn't know ANY of that stuff about the Nordic lore. That makes the old man and Mjolnir make much more sense. :) LOL! Thanks -- you're educating me right and left here.

Yes, totally agree about Mama Tran offering up her soul. I'd do it for Mo Chuisle without a second thought.

Dean's not as stone cold as he wants to be -- or as he's had to be to survive Purgatory. And I think he's struggling with that.

Dragging Cas off -- okay, that I can see. I couldn't tell, really, what what happening except that he was reaching for Dean and calling his name and looked to be In Peril.

YAY Dean angst! :) It's really getting good, huh? Thank you for reading and taking time to share your thoughts. I really appreciate it. See you next week!
Oct. 11th, 2012 10:59 am (UTC)
Yet again an incredible ramble and spot-on.

I'm not sure where you get that Sam didn't know Dean would be at the cabin? *frowns* I must rewatch. Oh the horror. *g* Obviously I missed something. That's what I get for watching in increments of five minutes at a time at work. I CAN'T WAIT! So sue me. *g*

Anyway ... every reaction from Sam is underwhelming, which makes me wonder ... what's up with him? It's not like he was deliriously happy with Ms. Vet, considering that he left without saying goodbye and she didn't try to stop him. So this whole 'living the normal life' deal doesn't really ring true.

As of yet we don't know if Sam looked for Dean or not. All we have is his silence when Dean asked, which might mean ... anything. I'm not willing to judge what I don't know, so I'll keep my peace until Sam either comes right out and says: "No, I didn't look for you. I wanted out." or something else.

Honestly, I think Sam's fed up. I think he's reached the end of the rope and has fallen off into the abyss of 'I don't have it in me to care any more'. And who can blame him after all the crap these guys have seen since day one?

The fact is, even if he does hang up his hunting gear and retires into a normal life, he's still Luci's vessel and he's still on the demon radar, so unless they really can close the gates to Hell, I don't see him ever being safe. He may want to pretend, but in the end he won't be able to stay out of this life forever. I just think he's desperate to 'not know' right now. Everything is back to the way it was and Dean certainly has toughened up in Purgatory. He may not be as tough as he lets on, but he's showing this tough shell exterior to everybody - including Sam - and I can understand why Sam would find that disconcerting and irritating. Dean's never been the bleeding heart type, but he has shared some things with Sam. And if Sam can't tell he's holding things back, the kid's really off his game.

Not being a Castiel fan, I don't really care about his disappearance/demise/whatever. It's obviously part of Dean's storyline and that's fine. I just can't really find it in me to care what happened to Cas. Sorry, Cas-fans. Obviously, it's going to be an issue for Dean that he will somehow have to learn to live with and that makes for interesting television. :D

When push comes to shove, I like Benny a hell of a lot more than I've ever liked Cas. He's not so full of himself. *g* It is a credit to Misha's acting abilities to raise such disdain in me for his character, though.

Looking back over the seasons, all I see since Cas turned up is betrayal. He has lied to Dean from the get-go and it keeps rubbing me the wrong way that Dean either doesn't know or can't see it. Obviously he may choose to be blind to the facts, of course. And there are things he doesn't know. Like that Cas let Sam out of the panic room, to mention one example.

Anyway ... I love Linda Tran. She really is a tiger mommy. Go Linda. :D And I loved that she shot down the angel's offer for protection. So I think you're right. Once she's back on top, she'll make Kevin find the boys again.

Right ... enough jammering. Gotta work. :D Thank you again for your rambles. The show would not be the same without them. :D
Oct. 11th, 2012 02:30 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure where you get that Sam didn't know Dean would be at the cabin?

Well, personally, *I* didn't get that. Last week in my ramble, I said that I figured Dean had tracked down Sam, called him, and that's why Sam went to the cabin. Sam's reaction just seemed too subdued to me to not have any prior knowledge of Dean's being alive.

But I was corrected in the comments by those who listened to a podcast from one of the producers who said that no, Sam didn't know Dean was alive when he went to the cabin. So I was like, well, ooooookay. :)

As of yet we don't know if Sam looked for Dean or not.

You've got a point, he didn't come out and say 'no.' But he also didn't bother correcting Dean either when Dean drew that conclusion from his silence and went on to try to defend his actions (or in-actions). So, yeah, still in wait-and-see mode for Sam, but I'm not really hopeful that it's going to be something that will make my frown over that fact disappear.

Castiel is, to me, kind of a part of the dysfunctional family. So, I'm curious to find out what happens to him on that level, but more than that -- what happens to Cas has a direct affect and impact on Dean and that's what I'm interested in. Dean's devotion to his friend kept his humanity close to him in Purgatory and I can't wait to find out what occurred with Cas that ripped Dean up inside so bad that he's had to cloak himself in a shell this hard.

And Benny -- hell yeah. I'm really curious about him. Can't wait until we find out more. :)

Linda! Linda Tran. THANK YOU. I could not for the life of me think of her name -- therefore she was dubbed Mama Tran. :)

Thank you for reading and taking time to comment -- this whole effort would be pointless without you guys. :) Happy Thursday!
(no subject) - cathy1967 - Oct. 11th, 2012 04:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 11th, 2012 12:11 pm (UTC)
I am loving this year. I was doing a little happy dance this morning when I saw your post.
You sum up so perfectly the crazy, chaotic, chapter of the week.
I don't think I caught anything you didn't, I did notice the hug Dean bestowed on Cas was emotional and he did the whole eyes closed thing he does, not like the compadre kind of hug benny got. He was very worried about Cas, with capitol letters.
I agree that I don't think Dean abandoned Cas, something bad obviously happened and Dean does feel guilt over it but it isn't what I thought.
Sam, I loved Sam in this episode. The hammer, his concern for Dean. Was Dean his main focus, I don't know, he is certainly a very subdued Sam. I haven't figured him out yet. We haven't been given very much to go on. Waiting for Sam's backstory, as much as I am not looking forward to scenes with vet lady.
ps, I think I could hear the Cas/Dean fans squeeing over the television. LOL,,, which is okay but I want my Dean/Sam squee which we are being denied.
Thanks for this fantastic ramble.
Oct. 11th, 2012 02:33 pm (UTC)
YAY for happy dances! *loves them*

Dean hugging Castiel just had my heart hurting for him -- especially because Cas didn't hug him back. *sniff*

Yeah, we still have to see more about Sam's backstory to get why he's so subdued. My thinking is that with the cadence they're using, we'll start to get more answers that can help us form a more complete picture by...Thanksgiving. :) *laugh*

Thank you for reading! Hope to see you next week.
Oct. 11th, 2012 12:31 pm (UTC)
Well my first submission was to long so I will have to write a shortened version.

First, Thank You for sharing your thoughts each episode. I really appreciate seeing your view of the show.

The episode was a so-so one for me (but that is an improvement over last week!)

Things I liked:
Purgatory scenes

Things I disliked:
Kevin's mother
Sam as wallpaper

The purgatory scenes were powerful and it was good to see Cas again. Dean's new interrogation methods were very much appreciated. Dean's threat to kill Sam and his children and grandchildren if he tried to offer his baby as a bid was hilarious. Dean's attempt to kill off Crowley was excellent- and should have succeeded.

Sam's role here was basically a silent one. His only memorable- and meaningful- scene was when he used Thor's Hammer. It was a good scene but entirely too little for one of the MAIN characters of the show.

Crowley was (as usual) a one-joke washed-up comedic bore. If he had been written as he was in his first scene on the show he would be a viable threat here. Instead he is a tiresome irritant that is as "evil" as a cartoon character. Way past time for him to go.

And the one really good thing to come out of this episode- the possibility that we should not see Kevin (or any of his family) again for at least a few episodes. Chuck was a Prophet; this character is a rather shallow, boring imitation. He is likeable but not much more. He should have been a one-episode character and nothing more.

I look forward to seeing more of the Purgatory story and finding out what happened there. And seeing how the storyline of Dean, Cas and Benny is eventually resolved. I would like to think of Benny as I thought of Noah in your last wonderful story but I don't sense the natural goodness there that Noah had. I would like Benny to be an assest to Dean but I worry that will not work out.

Dean buried his humanity in order to survive in purgatory. He is going to have to dig it back up to survive on earth.

My Best to you and yours always.
Oct. 11th, 2012 01:57 pm (UTC)
I agree with you here. Both Crowley and Sam felt under-written to me. Sounds like Sam may get more airtime next ep, but they truly need to step up their game with Crowley. He's the Big Bad this season and I'm not even afraid of him.

Come on, writers, DO THE JOB OF SOMEONE BETTER. (To paraphrase Brady.)
(no subject) - gaelicspirit - Oct. 11th, 2012 02:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - quickreaver - Oct. 11th, 2012 02:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gaelicspirit - Oct. 11th, 2012 02:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gaelicspirit - Oct. 11th, 2012 02:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 11th, 2012 01:43 pm (UTC)
I wrote a pretty distressed post on my LJ after the episode (http://borgmama1of5.livejournal.com/71787.html?view=comments#t902251 if you care to read.)

Your analysis made me feel a little better, you pointed out spots where the Dean I cared about might still be in existence. And your remark "he needs Sam to remind him of his humanity" is exactly what I want desperately to see (from 5.04 The End "we keep each other human") except I'm not seeing Sam capable of stepping up to the plate. And I hate being afraid that the the boys I loved for 7 seasons are irrevocably changed.

I'm really glad I had this to read this morning.
Oct. 11th, 2012 03:04 pm (UTC)
Okay, I went over to your page, read, and made a comment of my own there about how I'm seeing Dean, so I won't make your head spin around by repeating myself. :)

I'm SO glad that you felt better after you read this -- sometimes I know I'm a little...over the top with my emotional reactions, but at least you can be reassured that what you're reading is 100% honest. :) And I really believe what I said on your page. I think we just need to wait it out because Dean is damaged -- more damaged than he's ever been before -- and he has a hard shell protecting his hemorrhaging heart, but the heart is still there, still beating.

And I think Sam's story will play into that a lot -- I have to believe that seeing Dean so on edge will bring Sam back, have him snap out of this...fugue.

They are irrevocably changed -- and they should be, from my POV. They are human beings who have been through ridiculously inhumane experiences and have still managed to hang on to their humanity by the skin of their teeth.

I am glad you came by and read. I am really enjoying this season and the intensity we're seeing from Dean. I hope that you are able to find the enjoyment you once had as the season continues.

Oct. 11th, 2012 01:53 pm (UTC)
I'm with you on Dean's state of mind, he's all warrior all the time now, no grey areas and I can see where he thought Purgatory was so pure, he didn't have to think about killing he just did it. Now he's having trouble, the lines are blurred so he has to pull himself back to reality.

Just to go a little further on that, he has no desire for sex, hasn't mentioned women at all other than to be jealous of Sam being with Amelia (yes he's jealous of Sam's walk in the park life for a year.) For Dean Winchester to be completely uninterested in sex though, never thought I'd see the day.

They're finally dealing with his PTSD but now he's got Hell and Purgatory rolling around in his head and I hope he's not just totally broken this time.

Great review as always hon, next week should tear even more at our heartstrings *wimpers* but it's Jensen's episode so it will be fantastic, no doubt about it :D
Oct. 11th, 2012 03:12 pm (UTC)
Y'know, it's funny you bring up sex. For reasons I won't go into here (this is a family ramble) the hubs and I were talking about sex and writing sex scenes and it suddenly occurred to me how LONG it would have been since Dean's gotten any.

I think he's not able to think like that yet -- that's a loss of control he can't wrap his mind around yet. It's the whole "soldier returning from war" scenario. It's all he can do to make sure the regular life things happen, make sure he doesn't kill someone while questioning them, make sure his moral compass is pointed north.

He has so much on his plate trying to figure out how to survive in this new reality that actually enjoying this new reality -- aside from driving his baby and his brother buying him a burger -- is beyond him.

I'm finding it fascinating. I'm totally drawn to it because I believe that he isn't totally broken. He's such a strong person who has been through so much...I think if he's given the time, he'll be able to release a little of the grip of control -- just a little at a time until one day he's able to take a deep breath again.

It's just not something he can do quickly or without some sort of help. And Sam, god bless 'im, isn't really up to the task right now.

Oh, that's RIGHT! Next week is Jensen's episode!! YAY! So excited.

Thank you for coming by, reading and commenting. Great to hear from you. :)
Oct. 11th, 2012 02:00 pm (UTC)
So sorry I didn't comment on last weeks ramble - it was my birthday on the 3rd and was away for most of last week so didn't get a chance to chat :(

Anyway, having seen the 1st episode I completely agree with your thinking.....the tension between the boys is understandable. And Dean? my god, I thought that boy couldn't get any sexier but I was wrong. it will be interesting to see whether the man has changed, or if it's simply a case of self preservation that has caused him to be so warrior like.

As always, thank you so much for taking the time to write this amazing synopsis, I look forward to it almost as much as the episode itself! x
Oct. 11th, 2012 03:14 pm (UTC)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :) I hope you had a fabulous one and that this new year of life offers you joy and peace. :)

Thanks for coming by here and taking time to read and comment -- both rambles. :)

Yeah, I'm dialed in with the conflict right now -- though I need more story about what the deal is with Sam -- and Dean is just...goodness. His story is totally resonating with me. I'm ready for more! :)

It's good to see you -- I am glad you enjoy reading these.

See you next week!
Oct. 11th, 2012 02:07 pm (UTC)
I actually didn't think Sam knew Dean was at the cabin, but I do agree his reaction was somewhat subdued, I kept waiting for the BIG reaction.

You can change...the right drugs help.

I agree about Deans emotional attitude, and I get it. And it keeps things simple. You do what you need to do because the problem gets fixed, the trick is avoiding the fallout.

Totally on the loved column. Even Mamma Tran which surprised me, I was ready to find her irritating. She was killer, but then, she's fighting for her kid, so no real surprise there.

Liked column: Yes, also but I did wonder about how everyone else but Dean was so facially scruffy, I don't give a damn how sharp that axe thing is.

The auction guy just bugged the hell outta me. His suit was ugly, didn't fit and was rumpled and i swear to you his skin was orange. I like the 'bone' guy. He was in my favorite episode of X-files, I'd know his voice anywhere. And I gotta admit he won me with the 5/8's of a virgin.

Dean's comment about whats one more nightmare was the liod rattling on top of a boiling pot.

Do you ever wonder what happens when all these dead bodies Sam and Dean leave after they kill the demons are found just lying around? I do.

And yeah, I lo9ved Sam's backwards ritual although at the time I was "what the hell did he just do?"

the stuff about the tattoos had me on the floor, the look on Kevins face when his mother said like it was her first tattoo. But I was SO disappointed that Deans didn't show his. In fact I DEMAND we get at least one shirtless Dean scene this season, back and front views. I want to SEE his skin after his time in purgatory.

And yeah, during the whole tattoo scene while keven whimperd i was like...you wussy.

And the jail cell scene, this weeks fav. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to do that to someone...well...except for the occaisonal times I did.

And Dean defending the Impala, even closing hell isn't worth his baby. Go Dean.

and I LOVED Mamma Tran belting Crowley. I yelled.

I also expected Sam and Dean, or Sam at least, to try to stop Kevin's mother but again they surpised me, but again also, they've learned a lot of hard lessons over time and one of them is called acceptable collateral damage.

Sam with Thor's hammer, wonderful.

I was a liottle leary of all the flashbacks I knew were gpong to be part of the show this season but they weave them well and appropriately
so I'm good so far, they just add to the tease.
Oct. 11th, 2012 03:22 pm (UTC)
I actually didn't think Sam knew Dean was at the cabin,

Yeah, well, me neither -- I thought Dean had found him, called him, and Sam was meeting him there. But according to those who listened to the podcast, no, Sam didn't know he was there. So I was basically like, oooookay.

You can change...the right drugs help.

Yeah, but have you really changed? Or have you just found a way to adapt to a new normal? One where you don't want to cause yourself or others harm? I'm just kinda caught on this whole "change" thing -- for real life reasons as well as show reasons.

the trick is avoiding the fallout.

Yeah, and that's where Dean's gonna need some help...and I'm not sure Sam's up to the task right now. It's going to be interesting to see how that all plays out.

She was killer, but then, she's fighting for her kid, so no real surprise there.

Yep. You and I would be the exact same way. Rawr!

I did wonder about how everyone else but Dean was so facially scruffy

Maybe the rules of Purgatory are different for humans. LOL! I just wanted a LITTLE facial hair, people. C'mon!

He was in my favorite episode of X-files, I'd know his voice anywhere.

Oh -- which one?? Also, 5/8th's of a virgin...wonder which...part of her that was. *shudders*

Do you ever wonder what happens when all these dead bodies Sam and Dean leave after they kill the demons are found just lying around? I do.

YES! Mostly because in Buffy, the vamps just turned to dust, done deal. But these are BODIES. I remember when I was writing NotH I had to think about Dean having to dig graves and burn bodies and it was like, hell, this is hard work! :)

. In fact I DEMAND we get at least one shirtless Dean scene this season, back and front views. I want to SEE his skin after his time in purgatory.

THIS TIMES INFINITY!! Start a petition!!!!

You still have to see my newest tat in person.

The jail scene was...UNF. I'm going to be happy with that for awhile.

Yeah, I'm liking being teased for now with the flashbacks -- it makes me totally hungry for more. :)

THANK YOU for reading right away. Hee.

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Oct. 11th, 2012 06:14 pm (UTC)
How cool is it to be all cookoo for our show after all these years? I found myself laughing so hard at times & then almost crying at other moments,
can you guess which..? *pets DEAN*

- Mama Tran was awesome, both funny & so fierce in her love for her son and it made me think about how our boys (or should I say "men" ;) must have viewed her.. having lost their own mother so early on. I actually found them not interfering with her offer to sell her soul very true to their character, besides needing the tablet & Kevin - they've been in her shoes and know what it means to put your family's well being before your own. I think that's also partly why Dean didn't kill Crowley!Mom (love that nickname!) right away, his own past losses made him hesitate & (however I do believe he would have done it eventually.. :(

- Sam is being a wallflower & I want to know more about what motivates him right now, I agree with you - he's so going to ditch Dean soon (as much as it pains me to admit) - his heart is not in it. Cannot wait to see more of his flashbacks in order to understand what made him so emotionally detached. He did support Dean but he's not invested, take the fact he hasn't tried to get more purgatory details out of him, like he did after Dean came back from hell, I wish he would push just to show Dean he cares. I know brotherhood is not all about chick flick moments & lovey-dovey hugs but I need to see some more togetherness - points at my icon - SOON. Also, if you remember what I told you last week about Benny's closeness with Dean bothering me? I'm not at all against Dean / Sam having an outside world & friends of their own (in fact it's quite mandatory for their sanity), guess it stood out because Sam & Dean are not ok. If they were I'd be all peachy :)

- The purgatory scenes were my favorite of the episode. The director did a marvelous job in interweaving the jail scene in the present with Dean grilling the monster in the past. Was also touched by the way Dean protected Cas & would not leave him!! I adore his loyalty, & speaking of Cas - him not willing to risk Dean's safety.. just ouch *rubs heart* The trio of Dean, Cas & Benny has gotten me intrigued & needing to see their story unfold. Just think about the combo of human, vampire & angel travelling side by side, fighting to survive .. Benny & Cas clashing & Dean in the middle.. interesting indeed.

- People in my opinion don't necessarily change completely but evolve & adapt due to circumstances + age.. I am not the same person at almost 30 (!!!) that I was in my early 20'. Life makes us grow up, lose bits & pieces of ourselves only to gain others. But at our core, we stay the same, that's why I keep hope for Dean to regain his humanity & appreciation of life & of mankind, because he does care, deeply.

Thanks for rambling with us, Gaelic! Love chatting with you as always.
Oct. 14th, 2012 10:10 pm (UTC)
Hi you! Thanks for coming back. I love getting into the season and looking forward to comments and the conversations it spawns.

I actually found them not interfering with her offer to sell her soul very true to their character, besides needing the tablet & Kevin - they've been in her shoes and know what it means to put your family's well being before your own.

This is true. But I think it's more true now -- I think in the past they would have instinctively tried to stop a "civilian" from making such a sacrifice, making it themselves instead.

He did support Dean but he's not invested, take the fact he hasn't tried to get more purgatory details out of him, like he did after Dean came back from hell, I wish he would push just to show Dean he cares.

Agreed. I hope that as we see more of the back story -- of both of them -- unfold, the answers are some we can live with going forward. :)

he trio of Dean, Cas & Benny has gotten me intrigued & needing to see their story unfold.

Me too!!

But at our core, we stay the same, that's why I keep hope for Dean to regain his humanity & appreciation of life & of mankind, because he does care, deeply.

When thinking about Dean, this is reassuring. When thinking about some in real life...well, this kind of makes me sad. *sighs*

Thanks again for your time -- see you next week! :)

Thank you
(no subject) - jesters_tear82 - Oct. 15th, 2012 05:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 12th, 2012 01:06 am (UTC)
I finally watched the new episode this evening. Oops, mi esposo just got home from work, I'll come back and really write something later!
Oct. 14th, 2012 10:20 pm (UTC)
Okay! I'm working my way through comments, so if you came back, I'll find you! :)
Oct. 12th, 2012 01:29 am (UTC)
First of all, thank you for your thoughts on Sam. I mean, I'm a Dean girl through and through - and being an older sibling, I GET him. So, so much. Sometimes I over identify and feel overly angry at Sam on Dean's behalf. And yet, I am able to understand and even (sometimes) justify things my little sister does. I think we all needed a reminder to sit back on our heels and remember what we love about the brothers. Their opposing motives, what drives them. This season (YUSSSS!!) we've gotten a lovely taste of what motivates and drives Dean. Sam...not so much. Think the writers are saving up - because this started out as SAM'S journey and it has been (S6 and 7 OVERLY so) for a long while. The bad thing is, they've left Dean by the wayside...until now. I certainly hope we get Sam caught up though and see more about what is going on with him, because so far? Serious head-tilt here. I'll see new, mellow Sam - then the Sam I know and love...then...TILT.

This whole Ramble. As always, you reach right through and show me my heart - and I thank you for it, darling!! OUR BOYS ARE BACK!! WHOOHOO!!!

Oct. 14th, 2012 10:24 pm (UTC)
I think we all needed a reminder to sit back on our heels and remember what we love about the brothers. Their opposing motives, what drives them.


I agree they Dean has been left by the wayside in previous seasons -- I just hope they are able to keep up the momentum of what they've got going with him now. Because I'm loving it.

The Sam story, though, yeah...ready for some insight there.

Thank you for reading and taking time to leave me a reply. Always love hearing from you. ;)
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