Gaelicspirit (gaelicspirit) wrote,

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In New York, no one can hear you scream...

I have no business complaining. About anything. Which is why I'll do that cut-tag thingy so that if you don't feel like reading, you can be spared. I care too much about ya'll to burden you with... stuff.

So... last week and the weeks prior I worked my ass off getting ready for this pilot training at Time Warner Cable in New York. Seriously? Last week I logged 73 hours. Sometimes being paid salary sucks out loud. Anyway, my boss requested I attend said pilot so that I could note what worked, what didn't blah blah blah...

Here's where part of the complaining comes in. Prior to this, I had a job where I traveled once a month for 7 days minimum for 4 years. I started traveling again when Mo Chuisle was 3 months old. I left that job in May 2007 because I couldn't keep doing that to her -- but I support our family financially, so I ended up walking right into a similar job with the caveat that travel not be part of my job requirements. Now, honestly? One trip every... four months or so is really not that big of a deal in the big picture...

BUT! Monday morning before I left, she started acting cuddly, which she never does unless...yeah.  I played it off to the fact that she's 2 now and knows I'm about to leave, but my gut told me differently. I prepped the hubby for all sorts of things, but he shook me off with a "honey, look, she's fine, go..." 

He called me (during the meeting) today to say that he picked her up from daycare with a 103 degree fever. I wanted to snap "I KNEW IT!" but all I did was say to give her Motrin and fluids and hold her. My arms, I'm not kidding you, literally ached in reaction. Like I'd been lifting weights. I finished the pilot training, went to dinner with the clients, laughed, BS'd, was as "on" as everyone else... but the minute I got back to the hotel room, I was calling home.

Luckily, I'm on eastern time here and we live in central, so I was able to catch him. He said he'd rocked her and they'd watched Dora together and the whole time she kept asking for Mommy in this sing-songy, sleepy voice. *TEARS* I know that I have no choice but to be here, but GOD sometimes being a working mom SUCKS OUT LOUD.

*takes breath* Here endeth the complaining.

I will, say, though, that New York is a fascinating place. Our client is a Jersey native and very much enjoyed playing tour guide. I'd been to New York before 911 (seeing basically the airport, the hotel, and the meeting room), and I was honest-to-God surprised at how *short* Manhattan looked from the air as we landed at LaGuardia. I got to see the Statue of Liberty. It was the size of a Monopoly game piece, but I saw it. :) 

OMG, and the cab drivers. Holy shit. I got off the plane, got my bag, got in the queue for a cab, told the guy 303 Lexington and ZOOM. I'm so glad there was an "oh shit" handle in the back else I'd have been bouncing around that seat like a pinball, seatbelt or no. As it was I was literally milliseconds away from hurling when he dropped me off at a Mariott Hotel. I go in, give them my name, no reservation they say. Hmmm...

So I tell them I was trying to get to 303 Lex and they're like, "oh, we're 47th and Lex." Insert blank look here. Seeing my confusion, they say "you need to go to 37th and Lex." 10 blocks. I start walking. In my heels, carrying my computer bag and hauling my little two-day travel rolly bag thingy. In New York City. At 9pm. Never thought that was an unwise move until I told my boss what I did and was greeted by a little gasp and a "what were you thinking?" Uh... that I wanted my bed and a meal?

I totally waved my mid-west carnivor flag, though ,when I passed a street vendor selling some kind of grilled chicken and inhaled like it was the breath of life... while a tiny Asian woman in front of me half-gagged and waved at the air in front of her face to ward off the offending odor. Whoops. 

Man, the LIGHTS in Town Square. Holy shit again! New York has always felt like a "make-believe" city to me. Something that existed in the movies, on TV, and in your occasional book ("Nevermore" anyone?). Seeing it for "real" gave this Kansas girl a bit of a jolt. People don't look up. They walk along expressionless, focused inward. They have no fear of traffic, boldly walking out into the street, dodging suicidal cabs randomly. And there are so many... I don't think I've seen that many people in one place (that wasn't an airport) since... KU won the NCAA championship.

Craziness, seriously. I am just blown away by how DIFFERENT it feels to be here. It's intoxicating and refreshing and I can't WAIT to go home. 

And not just because my baby is sick... because it's HOME. It's slow and small and familiar and I fit in. It fits ME. I can play the part. I can be the girl I need to be for the time I need to be her, but I can't keep it up forever. And I don't want to. If I had to do more than one more day of this, my smile would turn false and the sparkle I insert into my eyes would fizz... 

But for now, I'm just glad to remember what it's like out in "the world" and that there is so much more to life than Lawrence. I can't wait to show my baby girl... when she's old enough to appreciate it. :)

Okay, last thing before I collapse greatfully into this very, very big bed... I found this vid on YouTube tonight. I had confessed to one of the clients that for about 4 months, the only thing that would put baby girl to sleep was Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters" from the S&M album they did with the San Francisco Orchestra. This nay sayer said nay, Metallica did not, in fact, play with the SFO... well, I showed them. 


Hope you all have a great week. I'm off to write a bit before sleep. Thanks for listening to the ramble.

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