Gaelicspirit (gaelicspirit) wrote,

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Tears of a clown

Traveling is for the young and those with limitless energy, says I.

So... Tuesday morning I left to drive from Lawrence, KS, to Cincinnati, OH with a co-worker slash friend (from my bookclub) for the duel purpose of a team meeting and a new project. See, once a yearish, the woman who owns the company I worked for, prior to being set out on my ear as a contractor, gathers her team together under the guise of comraderie and team building while she picks their brains for new and inventive ways to build up her company.

Originally, I was to attend this meeting. However, when I switched to contractor status at the first of November, I was "uninvited." Which, honestly, didn't break my heart. But, then I got wind of an opportunity to work on a project for a gal located in Cincinnati, and it would be a project away from my prior boss, and with the fact that I'm  shouldering the financial responsibility of our family, I couldn't pass it up.

So, I got slightly devious. My coworker slash friend who also lives in Lawrence is extremely afraid of flying. We're talking full-on panic attacks. She had elected to drive the 10ish hours to the meeting, and asked if I would accompany her so that she wouldn't have to make the trek alone. When this job opportunity came about, I agreed, thereby getting to head to the meeting for free. I even stayed with co-workers while I was there. Talk about the ulitmate mooch. But I couldn't have afforded a hotel room, and I needed this interview.

So, we departed at oh-my-God-its-early Tuesday. I had misgivings about leaving Mo Chuisle, though, because she had told me on Monday night that she was "sick, Mama." I thought she might be just playing the "I don't want to go to bed" card, but with her, you never know. 11 hours after we left, we arrived in OH, after having listened to every "I love the '80's" CD she had. I love the '80's, too, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be over them for awhile... oy.

Wednesday, co-worker slash friend went to said team meeting while I put on my game face and not only met with, but worked with my new project prospect. It was a good day in that respect. I worked my little hieney off between this new project and the one I am still trying to wrangle for my existing company. Then... I got the call from the hubs. Mo Chuisle's fever was back. It went from zero to 105 in literally the space of a nap.

I wanted to go home immediately, but, see, I'd traveled with someone and she had things to do Thursday morning. So... I kept to The Plan, calling hubs every so often to check in. They started Mo Chuisle on steroids this time 'round right away, and I could tell as the day wore on, the hubs was wearing thin. We finally got to leave OH at 2pm and I drove the first leg until the other side of St. Louis, where I insisted we stop for Real Food. Oh, I almost forgot. While I was driving I got another call from a different prospect seeking me out to write a government proposal for her.

It's a good problem to have, I suppose, being in demand -- but I wanted desperately to first get out from under the oppressive mantel of my former/current company before moving on. However, I didn't think I could financially afford to say no, so I said yes, and tried to figure out how I was going to fit it all in while I also worried about how sick Mo Chuisle really was and mentally yelling at the freakin' semi drivers to stay in their flippin' lanes for the love of GOD!

*deep breath*

Anyway. We switched drivers after dinner and I took over the music. Sorry, Dean, but sometimes the driver does not pick the music. We got home on the edge of 1am, and I climbed into bed beside my sleepy husband with every muscle in my body hurting. I swear to God, not 30 mins later, Mo Chuisle woke up calling for me. I went in to comfort her and ended up laying next to her to quiet her down and stayed until she informed me that she was "all done" sleeping at 5:30am.

I nearly had to ducktape her to the couch to get her to take her meds (don't blame her, really) and she has been a freakin' Holy Terror all morning. I have that gov't proposal call in 30 mins and I'm trying to talk myself out of crying for no good reason. I hate hate hate that tears come so easily when I'm tired. It's such a stupid flaw of mine.

*takes another deep breath*

I'll get through it, of course... but you know what the really ugly thing is? I wanted to use today to finish up chapter 2 of Weapon and the Wound. Go ahead. You can tell me I'm a bad mommy. I am sitting here with her on my lap, hot as hell, and I'm thinking... do I take a nap when I put her down for one, or do I write? I thought about that story the whole drive home. I have the whole thing written in my head. I think they need to invent a machine that you can plug into your brain and it types your thoughts--then you can rearrange them so that they make sense.

That way, you can pull out the random "empty the dishwasher and thaw out chicken for tonight" thoughts that pop in between "Dean rubbed a tired hand over his sweaty face and took a breath before answering his brother" and "He pulled her close to him, breathing in the heady scent of sweat and wind and road and woman" thoughts.

*sigh* A girl can dream.
Tags: random
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