You know how there's this one person in your life that balances everything out? Nothing is real until you tell that person. Everything is right when that person is with you. Could be anyone -- brother, sister, best friend, lover. For me, it's the hubs. He's the eye of my hurricane. We've been through a lot of storms together since we met -- but until lately, those storms have been around us, outside of us.
Now, they're between us, and everything is totally screwed up. I feel like I haven't done anything right in weeks. Even if factually, that's untrue, it's the impression left behind on my heart like an after-image from a flash-bulb. Things aren't right between us, and I honestly can't pin-point the source, and I am at a total loss as to how to fix it.
It's screwing with everything: new job, my patience with Mo Chuisle, my self-image, my confidence...
I want to freeze the world for a moment and seach out the crack between us that's growing deeper, fill it with something soft and warm and seal us back up. Is that so much to ask??
In other news, I finished Weapon and the Wound chapter 4 and sent it to my beta, Kelly. I hope that life allows her to get through it this week (it's rather long -- 48 pages... eeek) so that I can post before the next epi. We'll see. This is going to totally sound like I'm fishing, but I swear I'm not. I'm anxious about this chapter. Having written it while everything around me was in chaos, I wonder if the writing will have suffered because of it.
Guess I'll find out soon enough.