Gaelicspirit (gaelicspirit) wrote,

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The Meaning of Dreams...

I have wacky dreams. Anyone who knows me, knows this. They are detailed, they are extreme, they include real people and make-believe people. And I usually remember every detail for many days.  I don't sleep much--long story, but mostly to do with a restless mind and 19 month-old-baby--but it seems like when I do, I fall into this random world. Some scare the hell out of me. Some just leave me scratching my head and rubbing my eyes.

Last night, though, takes the cake.

In the dream, I was with two of my younger sisters. One was married to John Travolta, who was a building contractor. Sitck with me here. Apparently he abused her. She convinced me and my other sister that to get back at him, we had to burn down the new school he had just finished. He and a buddy were in the school inspecting the latest paint job -- only I didn't realize that at first. The three of us snuck in and laid down a fuse and track of fuel that we could light from the outside. I remember this suffocating feeling of dread wrapping around me, but I was so afraid that if I stopped her or told my sister "no" that she would turn away from me that I kept with her plan.

We got outside and just as she lit the fuse, I saw her husband (John Travolta) and his buddy (faceless person) standing in the window. I tried to stop her and she put her hand on my arm and said "the paint fumes will make the fire so hot there won't be anything left." I was horrified because I realized she had always intended on killing him. We drove away quickly and all I could think about was the fact that I'd ruined the lives of my husband and baby because I couldn't tell my sister no.

I woke up feeling extremely heavy. The weird thing is, in life, I may be insecure about many things, but not about my family. I raised two out of four of them from toddlers to teenagers. As the oldest, they listen to me. I have control there that I rarely have in other aspects of my life. So being afraid that my sister would turn her back on me was odd -- almost as odd as being party to murder by fire. 

I can't figure that one out. I reached out to everyone in the dream -- except John Travolta, for obvious reasons -- and made sure they were okay, which they were. Go figure.

In other news, I'm slowly learning how to build a passable LJ page, thanks to the generous help of Bayre and November's Guest. It's good to have smart friends. Once I get that figured out, I'll start posting stories. Assuming those of you who have friended me haven't run for the hills because of my wacky dreams...

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